J Chapter 0445 Ava. ~= I'sat at my dressing table staring blankly at the mirror while I brushed my hair. It was around nine in the evening and my head was a mess.

When I went for my therapy session today, I never expected to bump into Emma. Hell, I never expected to offer to wait for her, then invite her for ice cream, and then go ahead, and spend hours just talking with her.

She told me it was her first therapy session and I just felt the need to be there for her. I know how hard my session was for me. The fear and anxiety. The panic and pressure. I went alone, and I almost gave myself a heart attack with how anxious and nervous I got.

When I got out of that session, I felt ripped open. Like my wounds had been

scrubbed raw. I had done nothing to heal them. Instead, I just covered them and buried my head in the sand. Band-aids can’t fix bullet holes, and that’s exactly what I tried to do.

I was mess. I felt exposed. I felt drained. I felt like a gaping hole was where my chest should be, and my bleeding heart could be seen. I Letty was on a business trip that time and there wasn’t anyone I could call to comfort me. So, when I got out and saw that ice cream shop, that’s where I went to collect myself.

her, knowing how brutal the first session could be. That’s why I

came out of that office, wide eyed

she'd been through hell and back. Just

I know why. Emma isn’t one to share her feelings. We were similar in that

liked sharing. We liked burying that pain and pretending we

that same reaction after I realized that

didn’t understand how she did. If I believed in magic, then I would think she

the pain she was hiding, I couldn’t help but apologize. I still feel like everything that happened was my

with Rowan, things would

I just

Calvin, Emma and Gunner are still suffering. They're still in pain. If Id let go earlier, maybe

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