Chapter 0447 ' His voice is hoarse as he tries to suppress his emotions. The tremble in his voice is my undoing. I don’t like it when he’s in pain. I hate it.

“Rowan...” “No, Ava. It’s true. I was almost too late and deep down I know that had it not been for Ethan screwing up, I wouldn’t have had a chance with you. You wouldn’t have come back to me had fate not intervened. I will always be grateful that you gave me another chance despite the shit I did to you. The mistake you think you made that night? It’s nothing compared to what I put you through for nine years and yet you took me back...” “Because I love you.” “Yes, but Ethan almost claimed that love for himself.”

1 hated how insecure he was about Ethan.

1 did almost fall for him, but he wasn't meant for me. Ethan will always have a special place in my heart, not because I'm in love with him, or because he gave me Iris, but because he taught me how to live and love myself when no one else does.

“You don’t need to feel guilty because I am where I’m supposed to be. What Emma and I had was young love. It wouldn’t have lasted. Look at how it crumbled when it was put to the test? We held on because we thought it was the shit. We thought it was true love. We also never really got closure. What I feel for you is the real deal, Ava, and I know that because just the thought of losing you sends me into a panic like no other.

Losing you wouldn’t push me to drinking and doing drugs, it'll end me because without you I am nothing.” He works every day to prove

for Emma. I'm reminded of how he held I on to

are moments when I’m reminded of the pain he put me

moments when those memories tear at my heart and I wonder what I'm still doing with him. Those times, as if sensing my thoughts, he'll lay his head on my chest and hold me tightly as if he’s afraid of losing me. He'll then whisper over and over again that he loves me until his words

I'm not at the top yet, but slowly I'm

at your feet every day because

every day of my love

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