Chapter 34

“They’re really common,” I continue, “but not usually to this extent. But we learned, in my program, that when they’re really severe they can present with the intensity of a heart attack…”

He doesn’t look at me or say a word. I bite my lip, feeling suddenly sorry for him. I can’t help it. I’ve never really been able to see another person in pain and not want to help them.

“You know,” I say quietly. “There are doctors that can help you with this sort of thing. You shouldn’t suffer like this, if they happen all the time.”

“I don’t need to see a doctor.” He says, his voice determined.

o

I roll my eyes at him, a gesture I’m not sure I’d make if he were looking at me.

“Well, if you don’t want to see a doctor,” I say, hesitating again. “Maybe I could help?”

He lifts his head, his eyes open now. “How could you possibly help me.”

I purse my lips, frustrated. “I mean, I am a trained therapist. I wouldn’t think you’d forget that, considering it’s how we met.”

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He laughs a little. “Yes, Fay’s little certificate,” he says, his voice

derisive.

this can be a seriously debilitating

but he interrupts

to my doctor, Fay,” he says. “There is nothing

wrong with me.”

training, and my desire to help, push back against my instinct to follow his command.

laughs at me. “An anxiety disorder? A mental illness?

they can have an excuse for why

they’re so inadequate.”

door with my body. “It’s not for sissies – it’s an important aspect of

health-”

that I’m trapped between him and the exit. “Do you know what would happen to me in this world, if word ever got out that I

some kind weakness in my mind?”

I can guess, but

glaring at me. “If they ever found my

the bottom of a lake with cinder blocks for

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enemies would come – like the carrion birds they are- and pick pick pick-“he taps the top of my head, like a little bird pecking – “at the world I’ve

to build.”

him, not knowing

he says, still glaring, “I think I’ll decline your offer of mental health

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