Chapter 139

“Good night, Fay,” he calls as I stomp up the stairs towards my

room. “See you at breakfast.”

I don’t look back. Instead, I storm through my bedroom door and

slam it shut behind me, hurling myself onto my bed. There, I hide

my head in my pillow and burst into furious tears.

I stay alone in my room for hours after I finish crying. Vacillating

between feeling absolutely horrible and then feeling absolutely

nothing at all, I stare at my ceiling for hours.

I had thought I was in charge with Kent. That I could rile him, and

use his…his attraction to me for my benefit. But today, everything

proved to me that I was again out of my

doing it for show. I thought I had

in control of things with Kent

raising me to anger, and then kissing me, making me kiss him back, lose control like some lovesick girl

really am his puppet. Ivan’s puppet. Even

mortifying, realizing how easily I play into all

their games.

at the ceiling, watching the light

Chapter 139

2/3

a plan, with some way to get what

end of it

chess and I’m not even playing checkers. I feel so…stupid. And alone. I pull my pillow over my head, groaning,

dad, my old life.

to go

of my stupor is my stomach, which gives a mighty growl at some point in the evening when I’ve been laying in the

door or Ivan feeding

Now.

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