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Half an hour later, I’m pounding up the front steps to my childhood

home and throwing open the screen door. I twist the doorknob

and push on the wooden door behind it, expecting it to fall open

with its familiar creak, but I bump against it when it fails to open.

Tears start to slide down my cheeks again as I suddenly realize

that it’s locked. Of course it is – we always lock the door in this neighborhood – and I don’t have my keys because they’re sitting in my old purse, which is back at Kent’s house.

I lean against the door with a heavy sigh, closing my eyes and letting myself cry more. It’s all just too much –

Suddenly, I fall inwards as the door opens.

“Who…” Janeen says, and then gives a little gasp as I stumble into the house. “Fay!” she cries, her hands immediately on my arms, steadying me. “Are you all right? What’s –” But as soon as I turn my tear–stained face up to hers, she wraps me in a hug and holds me close. “Oh, baby,” she coddles, “baby, don’t cry! It’s okay! What’s wrong?”

while, just letting my sister hold me tight while I cry my heart out. She obliges me, shushing me softly and making comfortable noises until I’m finished. When my tears start to lessen, she gently peels me off her, crouching down to look

Chapter 150

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sniff, wiping at my nose and looking around the house. “Is dad

home?”

her head. “No, he went out

back for

say, nodding. “I don’t want him to know.”

her eyes going wider with wonder. I can tell she’s as intrigued as she

I say, taking her hand and nodding

living room. “With tears like that, we’re having this talk over vodka.” She gives me a wide–eyed look like I’m crazy for wanting to do this sober and I can’t help the

of

she adds a little orange juice to mine, knowing I need something sweet to cut the bite. As she works I sink into one corner of our old couch, taking a deep breath and

in my

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back against the arm, our feet mingling in the space between us. “Well?” she asks. I don’t say anything, just toss the crumpled paper at her so that it

it

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