Chapter 173

Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified

me, and as much as I wasn’t ready for it to happen like that –

chained to the wall, his to command-

There was certainly a part of me that…liked it? Maybe. I sigh,

confused.

Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for my

wardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin – not all of this silk and boning and laced–up restraint.

As I pull on a t–shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it, of the whole evening, the central fact was that it

was terrifying for me.

And perhaps it’s just me being a baby – being so naïve, and romantic, and sheltered. But as much as it sometimes gives me pleasure and a thrill to defy Kent, and to push him, and to drive him beyond his point of control – I am not sure I want to have sex

like that.

the first time. Because there

of giving up control to him that, at

good?

Chapter 173

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want…well, I suppose I want to be held. And comforted. Because losing your virginity is scary

on it. I pull Ivan’s jacket from its place balled up in the back corner, where I’d tucked it maybe an hour ago. God,

my world

that?

wanting its comfort and the memories of the

tonight that were so good. I tuck my nose against the jacket’s collar and take a deep sniff of Ivan’s warm and spicy scent. It’s strange, that two men who are so similar on paper can make me feel

my two “dates” this evening, I definitely know which one I preferred.

climb groaning into bed, pulling my covers up over me, still shaken from my experiences but starting to feel better. Just before I drift off to sleep, I grab my

phone, the burner. The one Janeen

in Ivan’s number, and send him a quick text to say goodnight.

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Chapter 173

is still laying on the floor, crippled with pain and anxiety. He presses his eyes closed against it, wanting – quite desperately – to be

he’s ever made that has led him here, to this –

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