Chapter 173

Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified

me, and as much as I wasn’t ready for it to happen like that –

chained to the wall, his to command-

There was certainly a part of me that…liked it? Maybe. I sigh,

confused.

Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for my

wardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin – not all of this silk and boning and laced–up restraint.

As I pull on a t–shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it, of the whole evening, the central fact was that it

was terrifying for me.

And perhaps it’s just me being a baby – being so naïve, and romantic, and sheltered. But as much as it sometimes gives me pleasure and a thrill to defy Kent, and to push him, and to drive him beyond his point of control – I am not sure I want to have sex

like that.

time. Because there was something about the

to him that, at some moments, felt…

good?

Chapter 173

2/3

it went too far. I don’t want to have sex that scares me, that makes me cry. I just want…well, I suppose I want to be held. And comforted. Because losing your virginity

fall on it. I pull Ivan’s jacket from

it really took for my

that?

its comfort

warm and spicy scent. It’s strange, that two men who are so similar on paper can make me feel

my two “dates” this evening, I definitely know which one I preferred.

bed, pulling my covers up over me, still shaken from my experiences but starting to feel better.

Kent phone, the burner. The one Janeen

and send him a quick text to say

3/3

Chapter 173

Kent is still laying on the floor, crippled with pain and anxiety. He presses his eyes closed

led him here, to this – to laying in his underwear on the floor of his secret room, feeling like

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