Chapter 205

I can’t help myself, then, as I turn my face to Ivan, a tiny moan on my lips that he snatches away with his mouth on mine.

I kiss him without remembering to breathe, so hungry for him that I forget myself – hungry for his joy, his laughter, his ease and his jokes

the way he lets me escape the rest of my world and lose myself in him. Ivan’s mouth is hot against me as he wraps me in his arms, twisting his body and me with it so that I’m all tied up in him, his back now flat against the cushions and

Chapter 205

my chest pressed on top of his as I

take control of the kiss.

His hands feel like they’re everywhere, all over my body, and I want them there – and I slip my own hand beneath his shirt, feeling the flat stretch of his stomach, the ridge of the v of his muscles as they disappear into the top of his pants –

But suddenly I gasp, pulling away

remembering another stomach another stupid pair of pants –

I sit straight up, aghast, staring

down at Ivan.

Chapter 205

“Fay,” he says quietly, sitting

up, looking at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”

I just stare at him, appalled at myself. How could I – Kent was –

“It’s all right,” Ivan whispers, putting out a tentative hand and brushing a curl of my hair behind my ear. “It’s okay. We don’t have to. Do you want to go inside?”

head, my body starting to calm down.

course, Ivan isn’t going to make me do

Chapter 205

realize that, as I stare

him.

I…I don’t know what

Kent – the intensity that grew

until

broke – I

with

this is what I

more?

front of me right now…and after twenty–some years of celibacy

has broken in

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want to have sex

everyone –

terribly confused. “No,” I say, closing my eyes and letting myself rest. “Can we just…can we

against the cushions and looking at me with concern. He takes my hand and tugs on it, inviting me to come close and relax. I move to sit next to

Chapter 205

more beers from the bucket and handing me one. I take it,

truly grateful that he’s… well, that he’s being so

a little sigh. “Tell me how

for me, of his childhood raised by panthers and his early years in the sands of the Sahara, including weird

Chapter 205

Ivan’s shoulder, I fall asleep listening to the sound of

rudely peeking through my lashes and invading my sleep. I rub my eyes,

smile as I look at him

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