Chapter 322

I curl up then, in my chair, tucking my face into my hands, completely overwhelmed by the realization that the best I’m ever going to get in Kent’s heart is second place.

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And I’m absolutely terrified by the realization that I want to be first. I want to mean more to him I want to mean the most.

Because maybe that’s what he is to…

But no. I shut down the thought, making my mind turn to other things. My brain trips over itself in its attempt to find something new to mull over, and cruelly – it turns to Ivan. To what he said yesterday that he offered me everything, and I’d picked an old, dead man over him. Someone who will never, ever love me.

And suddenly I feel just…horribly stupid.

had

seriously it?

Did I seriously, seriously choose that? Just because Kent is hotter than Ivan- because that, I can finally admit

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Chapter 322

my hands over my imouth and forcing myself

is a distraction. A big one. Because if I keep going

oul.

my face, making myself flick through the pages

myself to concentrate, and willfully pushing away my questions. about how much Kent loved Lenai, and whether I’m an idiot. who is going to die because she was to sex–addled to be

I calm down, and let myself be distracted from what are,

to truly engage with this literature, not matter how much Fiona encouraged me. Plus, I had stumbled onto

black tapes – but then I decide against it. I didn’t need to compare his

Chapter 322

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