Chapter 322

I curl up then, in my chair, tucking my face into my hands, completely overwhelmed by the realization that the best I’m ever going to get in Kent’s heart is second place.

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And I’m absolutely terrified by the realization that I want to be first. I want to mean more to him I want to mean the most.

Because maybe that’s what he is to…

But no. I shut down the thought, making my mind turn to other things. My brain trips over itself in its attempt to find something new to mull over, and cruelly – it turns to Ivan. To what he said yesterday that he offered me everything, and I’d picked an old, dead man over him. Someone who will never, ever love me.

And suddenly I feel just…horribly stupid.

what had I

seriously it?

Just because Kent is hotter than Ivan- because that, I can finally admit to myself is true – but seriously, am I just a stupid girl who followed a hot guy down a path that’s going to lead to my death?

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Chapter 322

my imouth and forcing myself – forcing myself to take deep

pass and I start to calm down. But what I need, I realize, is a distraction. A big one. Because if I keep going along with this line of thinking, I’m going to completely

oul.

of my face, making myself flick through the pages and concentrate on the lewd photographs and the

whether I’m an idiot. who is going to die because she was to sex–addled to be smart enough

let myself be distracted from what are, arguably, the more important questions…I find myself starting

to truly engage with this literature, not matter how much Fiona encouraged me. Plus, I had stumbled onto that

shelf of unlabeled black tapes – but then I decide against it. I didn’t need to compare his technique with other women to what he does with

Chapter 322

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