Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 177
Katya POV
The drive felt like it was taking forever, each second was agonizing as I felt the cold dread of darkness creeping in and twisting and warping my rational thought. How had I never noticed before, how had I never felt this writhing within me. I was always aware of the darkness, but for the most part I only saw the aftermath and didn’t have the processing of what it actually did. I felt like a bystander in my own body, yet for the first time I
was fully aware of what it did to me, the coldness of it and the way it controlled not only me but my thought patterns.
No wonder I never remembered much and would have to go off the word of what my mates said about what happened like a blackout drunk, only this time I was startling sober to watch what became of me. My limbs no longer mine, like I became the alter ego of the darkness as it wrapped me in its embrace, calling me to the deepest parts of my mind, whispering if I just gave in to it, it would erase everything that hurt me and now I realised the darkness which is all I saw last time was because I was not fighting but succumbing to the bliss it offered if I just shut off, if I let it have me. I let it have control because I could never identify it before, I couldn’t hear the whispers until it was too late.
Only this time I felt the rush of it smooth caressing coldness seeping in and tainting my mind, clouding it and weighing it down like extreme exhaustion. Just give in and sleep and tomorrow will be a new day but if I did, what
would the aftermath of the storm look like. I listen to the madness of its calling and fully identify myself within it.
The only thing grounding me was the purring from Maddox, the rumble of his chest against my
back. His warm embrace holds me here, keeping me fighting to stay forward and not to give in. I always confused it for anger but it was so much more than that, so out of control.
I could feel my body twitching, my hands clawing at my skin like it was alive and crawling yet I had no control over my actions. I could only try to fight to remain at the front, not giving into it completely and giving it the control it craved. The darkness was like its own organism that resided in me, I was a vessel and it was just looking for an opportunity to sneak through my defenses and run amok.
I was my own destruction, no wonder they didn’t trust me, no wonder they lingered. If our roles were reversed I would be the same. I was a ticking time bomb and they knew it and now I did too.
The more I resisted the stronger its call and I was helpless in its clutches as I watched myself slip further into the depths of my own mind, a passenger within myself.
“Stop Kat” Maddox whispers, the purring in his chest getting louder and I try to focus on the sound instead of the feeling slipping over me.
My claws drew blood as they raked over my bare legs, Maddox hissing, everything I did to myself I was doing to him as he took it from me. I tried to focus on my surroundings, trying to find a way to anchor myself.
Andrei was driving his lips moving and I tried to focus on his words while Maddox tried to restrain my hands, holding them in one of his. My legs dug into the leather seat as my feet moved. Focus, focus. I tell myself, my mind growing heavier as I fight to remain. My back arching as he fights me to remain still, my entire body thrashing like a fish out of water.
noises I was making. Growling and screaming like a madwoman. Maddox’s arm goes over my forehead as I try to bite him, the other around my chest when he moves, wrapping his legs around mine, but my strength at the moment was hard for
belong to me and I could only watch as the door opened and I lurched out of it, tackling Andrei to the ground. His arms wrapping around my torso as the darkness forces the
moment his grip let go I was lurching forward, trying to escape into the trees. I am screaming at myself, trying
catch me when my paws hit the air, my body careening toward the rocky valley beneath. Teeth sinking into my tail and jerking me back quickly and tossing me back onto solid ground though Maddox paws skid on loose gravel and I scream in my head
see if he got back to safety. Instead taking off and looking for escape. No matter how much I screamed for myself to stop I
a howl behind me, I move faster. Zipping and jumping over
figure out why he was talking about the kids, tried to
when I notice it. The glimmers of it. I try to jam
them, it wanted
had I never noticed the aura that sat around my kids like a glowing beacon and it was calling to the darkness, the darkness wanted it, craved the
the side to see Andrei’s car chasing after ours when I am hit from the side. Maddox teeth sinking into
I dart right, Maddox jumping into my path trying to get an advantage and for once I curse the training they put me through. He needed to
me but I drop, his body sailing over the top of mine before I take off again. My paws digging into the earth as I tore up the road when I realised something, the darkness doesn’t know how to use my aura, its all primal instinct, seeking power, it could fight but it
Jonah is not far behind her with Sage. Mateo shifts and runs at me but I manage to dodge him, my brother jumping
flank and I scream watching myself snap my jaws at her only for
Screaming at them to kill me knowing what the darkness wanted,
darkness was capable of. It wanted to feed on power, and my kids glowed like a million candles with the power running
flying open and I was looking for an escape. Maddox tackles me, his teeth sinking into my
bond, I could still feel that. My limbs no, but the bond I felt completely. Sage rushes toward the house and so does my father. I see him tell Andrei to get in the house but my attention is diverted. I could vaguely hear the roller shutters locking into
as
Maddox goes for my neck again. The darkness recognises the move and attacks colliding with him. Maddox just slipped out of range of my teeth as I stalked him. The darkness becomes enraged when I feel myself tugging on the restraints of my mind, pulling on the bond and Maddox and Mateo’s essence, using it to ground me and push me
give up control and I lunge at Maddox’s throat. Ares lets out a strangled whimper and I scream as my canines wrap around the back of his neck. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to watch myself kill him. My scream resonates out and I shove myself forward plunging into the bond and focusing on the energy of it humming with
mate bond severing painfully. Only when I open my eyes, I
teeth hovering off his skin. I sag with relief and drop on him
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