Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 177
Katya POV
The drive felt like it was taking forever, each second was agonizing as I felt the cold dread of darkness creeping in and twisting and warping my rational thought. How had I never noticed before, how had I never felt this writhing within me. I was always aware of the darkness, but for the most part I only saw the aftermath and didn’t have the processing of what it actually did. I felt like a bystander in my own body, yet for the first time I
was fully aware of what it did to me, the coldness of it and the way it controlled not only me but my thought patterns.
No wonder I never remembered much and would have to go off the word of what my mates said about what happened like a blackout drunk, only this time I was startling sober to watch what became of me. My limbs no longer mine, like I became the alter ego of the darkness as it wrapped me in its embrace, calling me to the deepest parts of my mind, whispering if I just gave in to it, it would erase everything that hurt me and now I realised the darkness which is all I saw last time was because I was not fighting but succumbing to the bliss it offered if I just shut off, if I let it have me. I let it have control because I could never identify it before, I couldn’t hear the whispers until it was too late.
Only this time I felt the rush of it smooth caressing coldness seeping in and tainting my mind, clouding it and weighing it down like extreme exhaustion. Just give in and sleep and tomorrow will be a new day but if I did, what
would the aftermath of the storm look like. I listen to the madness of its calling and fully identify myself within it.
The only thing grounding me was the purring from Maddox, the rumble of his chest against my
back. His warm embrace holds me here, keeping me fighting to stay forward and not to give in. I always confused it for anger but it was so much more than that, so out of control.
I could feel my body twitching, my hands clawing at my skin like it was alive and crawling yet I had no control over my actions. I could only try to fight to remain at the front, not giving into it completely and giving it the control it craved. The darkness was like its own organism that resided in me, I was a vessel and it was just looking for an opportunity to sneak through my defenses and run amok.
I was my own destruction, no wonder they didn’t trust me, no wonder they lingered. If our roles were reversed I would be the same. I was a ticking time bomb and they knew it and now I did too.
The more I resisted the stronger its call and I was helpless in its clutches as I watched myself slip further into the depths of my own mind, a passenger within myself.
“Stop Kat” Maddox whispers, the purring in his chest getting louder and I try to focus on the sound instead of the feeling slipping over me.
My claws drew blood as they raked over my bare legs, Maddox hissing, everything I did to myself I was doing to him as he took it from me. I tried to focus on my surroundings, trying to find a way to anchor myself.
Andrei was driving his lips moving and I tried to focus on his words while Maddox tried to restrain my hands, holding them in one of his. My legs dug into the leather seat as my feet moved. Focus, focus. I tell myself, my mind growing heavier as I fight to remain. My back arching as he fights me to remain still, my entire body thrashing like a fish out of water.
over” I hear vaguely. Andrei’s voice muffled and I realised why, it was the noises I was making. Growling and screaming like a madwoman. Maddox’s arm goes over my forehead as I try to bite him, the other around my chest when he moves, wrapping his legs around mine, but my strength at the moment was hard for
mine, it didn’t belong to me and I could only watch as the door opened and I lurched out of it, tackling Andrei
lurching forward, trying to escape into the trees. I am screaming at myself, trying to tell myself to stop. There are too many human communities in this part and we were still an hour out
when my paws hit the air, my body careening toward
to see if he got back to safety. Instead taking off and looking for escape. No matter how
was searching for something. Seeking something out. Hearing a howl behind me, I move faster. Zipping and jumping over rocks and around trees
inside and lock it down” Maddox yells. I tried to figure out why he was talking about the kids, tried to figure out
gain more speed, when the darkness takes over with newfound energy when I notice it. The glimmers of it. I try to jam
chasing them, it wanted
darkness, the darkness wanted it, craved the power. My jaws snapping at the wheels like a bloody dog, trying
when I hear a loud engine coming up behind me and I step to the side to see Andrei’s car chasing after ours when I am hit from the side. Maddox teeth sinking into me
it wasn’t me, that this wasn’t me but the darkness, that no part of this I had control over. I dart right, Maddox jumping into my path
road when I realised something, the darkness doesn’t know how to use my aura,
her with Sage. Mateo shifts and runs at me but I manage to dodge
after Marge when suddenly Sage shifts and pivots before attacking me. Her teeth sinking into my flank and I scream watching myself snap my jaws at her only for Andrei to bite into my neck before rolling
Screaming at them to kill me knowing what the darkness wanted,
of. It wanted to feed on power, and my kids glowed like
door flying open and I was looking for an escape. Maddox tackles me, his teeth sinking into my mark but only grazing
felt completely. Sage rushes toward the house and so does my father. I see him tell Andrei to get in the house but my attention is diverted. I could vaguely hear the roller shutters locking into place. But my sight was trained on my mates, the ones responsible for
on. You need to fight it” Mateo says the link sounding hollow as I try to pull
of my teeth as I stalked him. The darkness becomes enraged when I feel myself tugging on the restraints of my
the darkness not wanting to give up control and I lunge at Maddox’s throat. Ares lets out a strangled whimper and I scream as my canines wrap around the back of his neck. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to watch myself kill him. My scream
painfully. Only when I open my
my teeth hovering off his skin. I sag with relief and drop on him while
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