Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Chapter 31

When we get upstairs, he doesn't put me down until he sits me on the sofa, and kneels on the floor in front of me, so we are close to eye level. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me deeply again, this time slower and more intentionally than the one downstairs in front of the pack. The sparks of our mate bond comfort me more than they have in a long time. I let myself melt into the sensation, feeling his warm and soothing hands against my skin. When I feel a wet tear on my cheek, I pull back slightly. I can feel powerful emotions coming from him: sadness, fear, and regret.

“Bronx?” I wipe the tear away from his face, “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”

“Kas, when I got the call telling me that woman was in town, I was worried I may never see you again. I-I just knew that I had to get you to safety. All these terrible thoughts started running through my mind. And then I spoke to you on the phone and you sounded so angry that I would make you hide in the apartment and you were so confident about your role in the pack. It made me realize I can't remember the last time I have focused on you and listened to you as my equal. Not just since you got back and I've been trying to take care of you until you felt better these past couple weeks but, like, in general, you know. For months before you were taken, I started taking you for granted now that you are more independent.”

He looks at me with a look of regret and desperation. I shake my head, not sure what to say, but I don’t feel like I need an apology from him. I think I just need to let him talk.

“Honestly, Kas, I’ve been trying to figure it out. Why have I been

acting like such an ass toward you? We both know I have. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, and I hate the way it makes you feel. I think deep down, the idea that you don’t need me to protect you like you did when I first met you bothers me. It makes me nervous. If you don’t need me, ma-maybe eventually you won’t want me. What would I do with myself if you ever told me you don’t want me? Where would that leave me?” he shakes his head as a look crosses his face that I can’t identify. Desperation? “I think Saint was trying to convince me in his own fucked up way that it would be easier when that day comes if we weren’t as close to you as we have become. It would be easier to let you go and be on my own again. But that’s not true. I-I can’t live without you, Kas.”

“So, what do you need from me, Bronx? To be less independent? To depend on you and lean on you more?” The thought upsets me a little. That he might want me to regress.

“No, no, never, Kas,” he picks up my hands with both of his and holds them in my lap, placing his forehead down on them, “I love the woman you have become. I would never ask you to backtrack.”

trying to understand where this is all headed. I feel him grip my hands a little harder. A

have someone by my side to support me. People expected me to lead, and I know you don’t need me to lead you. I know you want to be beside me, helping me. I think...it’s just that...I-I need you to want me. Yeah, I need you to want me, Kas. And when I stupidly forget that,

know how I know you

head with a smile.

“How?” he sniffs slightly.

This aura isn’t

joined hands and back up at me, observing the distinct glow surrounding us

does it

means that our connection is stronger than ever. It means you are stronger than ever,” I keep his hand in mine as I gently

I can feel him smiling against me as he lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling him

is the most romantic thing,” Lex sighs dreamily, “It’s been a while since you

I growl internally and shut

you say we go into the bedroom and test it out? See how bright this aura can

smile back as he moves his hands under my shirt, pulling it over my head and throwing it to

oblige as he pulls them down. I feel my breath