Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

“fastest dinner ever...” I hear Bronx say, but he sounds like he’s underwater. The high pitch buzzing sound is trying to push its way forward, but I fight against it with all my concentration. Lex is trying to speak to me, but she sounds like she’s miles away. I stand up so I can join Bronx in front of the table, but Milo and Lenora take my hands and pull me into my seat.

Codi is in my lap, hugging me tightly. I can feel the warmth of our special connection and hug her back. Pack members cheer and howl silently as Bronx gives his speech. He paces slowly and confidently while his hands add emotion to his words. Our pack looks so happy. That’s how it should be. Happy.

A plate of chicken cordon bleu is in front of me. I look at it curiously. My mind can't seem to remember how eating works. I dip my finger in the sauce and give Codi a taste. She claps her hands, but there is no noise. Lenora gives Bronx a worried look and shakes her head as she pulls her pup from my lap. Red, gold, and white decorations glitter in the background, slightly out of focus.

People look up from their dinner. I can sense their worry. It hits me in crashing waves. Milo and Reggie are on either side of me, helping me to my feet. We are walking down a hallway. Marco is ahead of us, holding his phone to his ear. I feel a hand on the small of my back. I look up to see who it is and trip over my feet. Bronx catches me and picks me up, carrying me the rest of the way. I don’t even know where we're going. I close my eyes and let the scent of coffee and dark chocolate lull me into a relaxed sleep.

eke

“Leticia? Are you here?” I call out as I walk into the apartment.

“To..uhh...Kas?” Leticia pops her head out from what appears to be an office. There are small symbols painted on her face that look like runes. She has her hair pulled back into a black bandana. She wipes her hand over her face and the markings magically disappear, “I wasn't expecting you. What’s going on?” “I have some questions. Do you have time?” I cross my arms in frustration, trying to remember I'm not upset with her. I also don’t want to set her off. Especially since I need her help.

Leticia looks into the room she is peeking out from, then back out at me, “ O-of course, I always have time for you. Give me just a second. I'll meet you in the living room.”

She slams the door, closing herself in. From inside, I hear a bird squawking and loud banging. There are several crashes of glass breaking, then silence. I back away slowly into the living room and wait for her to come out.

She comes out of the room as if nothing happened, looking like she is fresh out of the shower even though she closed the door to the room two minutes ago. Not nearly long enough to take a shower.

She holds her arms out for a hug, a huge grin on her face. My resolve softens as I look at her. I can’t imagine there are many people showing her affection these days. I approach her and WIap my arms around her tightly and she returns the embrace. She takes a slightly ragged breath as she buries her head in my shoulder. I rub her back slightly and let her take her time. '

She finally clears her throat and pulls away from me, “To what do I owe this pleasure, darling?”

“Let's sit. I just found out a ton of stuff about myself. I want to know more from your perspective, please,” I sigh, letting my hands fall heavily to my sides, then plop onto the sofa, pulling her down with me.

like a conversation that needs snacks,” she smiles. I watch as she waves her hand over our laps, exposing a bowl of popcorn, glazed pecans, and mugs of hot

always know exactly what I need,” I give her cheek a little pinch, eliciting

next hour, I tell her all the things I have learned over the past day about the Manae and about myself. She nods and listens intently as I

give

“Box of notecards?”

sofa. I watch as she disappears into the depths of a closet, and comes out dragging a foot locker sized chest

where it would hinge open. I run my finger across

open it?” I look up at Leticia, who looks

“Blood magic,” she mumbles.

help me, Leticia. I don’t

fangs, slice your finger, and let it bleed onto the chest until your wolf heals

to you. I mess with a lot of dark shit. Blood magic is not one of them. This was your idea. I just keep the trunk safe. Not that anyone could get into

at you earlier, but you have to understand my position. I have orders from our Mother. There is

upset with you, either. It just seems like the more I find out about my sisters and me, the more messed up being a

it’s not always a bed of roses. But on this one, you can trust Leticia.

says it's going to keep me busy for a long time. I would rather spend my time

sofa, “Okay. What's on your mind?” “Why does everyone else seem

good one,” Leticia nods slowly, tucks her legs under her, and takes my hand, “Darling, every time you and Bronx are reincarnated, you both lose the memories of

pauses, choosing her next words carefully, “Thousands of

all the Manae and Guardians, but because you don’t have any previous memories, you just don’t know it. We're only allowed to call

from me into her lap and twists her fingers together. “What is it, Leticia? What's wrong?” I brush her sparkly hair away from her face and tilt my

watch. It hurts so bad. Like, especially in this life, when Katherine sent word that your old Alpha almost killed you. I couldn't take it anymore. I found that nurse and gave her money to buy you furniture, so at least you would have something nice in this lifetime. An-and I didn’t think Bronx was going to find you in time. I couldn't let you die thinking you