Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

The murky water laps up and almost touches the soles of my shoes. The dark gray stones of the shore are wet witha thick gelatinous coating, making them slippery under my feet. I shuffle back slightly to avoid letting its poison get too close. One drop could kill me.

The landscape is dead and soft at the edges. There is no bright white here, there is no pure black either. Just a world composed of shades of gray. Purgatory.

I assumed it would be awful here, that it would be full of pain and suffering, but it’s actually still and peaceful. I close my eyes for a moment and let the silence engulf me. Finding my way here has taken me halfway across a world! never knew existed. Now that I've witnessed what purgatory is like, I'm pretty sure it would satisfy me to exist with its blank, empty feeling. It’s better than the darkness that has taken over. It is a comforting contrast to the Mavri Magea apartment. Trying to reforge a cursed blade and block out the pitiful whining of my sisters locked in their rooms has been exhausting.

Fabricating the blade has not only consumed every waking moment. It has also filled the nightmares during my rare periods of sleep for the last three days.

“Don't get comfortable here, Kas,” Lex warns, “There is still a lot of work to do. Losing yourself in this place is dangerous.”

“Just a fantasy, I suppose,” I sigh at her,

"It doesn't really matter, Lex. I'm already lost. I can feel it in my soul.”

“We've still got this. Just hang in there,” she comforts me. '

I look out at the water and watch the souls trapped under the glasslike surface. They try to rise, but cannot break the surface and sink again. Their beautiful, sallow skin reminds me of what my own has become. The eyes of the dead are clouded over with a fuzzy pale gray coating, which makes me wonder if they know what they are trying to escape from.

What if they're better off here and they just don't realize it? How pathetic were the lives they must have lived to be stuck here for eternity? Not allowed into the underworld, not allowed into the kingdom of the dead. Would I suffer the same fate at the end of my spirit’s journey? Would I finally feel relief in a place like this or will my suffering continue?

I don’t know how long I've been standing here. It may be five minutes. It may be five years. Time doesn’t seem to matter when you stand on the shore of the River Styx. The only thing that matters is that my meeting is successful.

I try to look out past the fog, but it is like thin layers of gauzy fabric. Each layer on its own is thin, but stacked against each other, unpenetrable. I wrap the thick black cloak closer to my body and pull the hood down to hide my eyes when the bow of a boat cutting silently through the dark water full of lost souls becomes visible.

There’s no noise when the boat runs ashore. A bearded man with a limp and a brimless hat climbs off the boat using a flimsy plank of wood and stands on the shore. His gravely voice interrupts the comforting silence, “Do you need passage to the underworld?”

“Yes. Are you Charon?” I ask calmly. I have read too many stories of evil spirits trying to escape the underworld to trust he is who he says he is.

“It is one name I go by. Do you have payment for the ferryman?” He asks in a gruff voice, holding out his hand.

I pull two golden coins out of my pocket and lay them in his hand. He wraps his fingers around them and rubs them with his thumb until they disappear into his skin. There is a soft glow, showing he has accepted my payment. He looks up and gives me a creepy smile, “A deity? A child of the Olympians?”

know what I am. I pause, then nod my head without

plank onto the boat and

as still as possible as we make our way across the endless river. Screams and cries from the underworld get louder as we glide across the water. Jagged stone mountains, back-lit

grab at the boat makes my lip curl in disgust. The Spirits I was just jealous of for being able to live in this place are now revolting to me. I want to reach out and kick at them

mind, “We need

at the center of the boat and remain as still as

standing on the shore greets us. His white hair contrasted by his solid black eyes and permanent sneer give

help me off the boat. I hesitate, not sure that I should trust of the

of this realm without me and my dear brother insists I

him see my face, “I am

world. Much more intimidating sounding, isn’t it?”

press my arm closer to my chest, securing the leather sheath under my

Enough with the ‘Sir’ bullshit. Call me Hades,” he

and turns for miles until I'm hopelessly lost in among obsidian stone mountains. He is quiet for some

I help you?” he sneers, looking down his nose

my eyes shift back and forth, finding it difficult to look

be the only one who can fix this problem with the Manae,

going to need more energy for what I plan to attempt,” I lower my head in

sneer turns into a

the Goddess Melinoé, but to be successful, I know I’m going to need unprecedented amounts of power. What I have taken so far, well, I think it may be killing me. I don’t know how much longer

Iokaste?” he says earnestly, with his hands clasped

for a moment before I answer, “My heart still wants to go home to my pack after this is all said and done, Hades. I can’t do that if I reach a point of no

He looks at me with what I assume is compassion and holds out his hand, “ Take what

at his hand, then

collected. You're going to need as much dark energy as possible, so take what you need. Just don’t

take a deep, satisfying breath as it fills me and calms my spirit. When I open my eyes, Hades looks much older and much more tired than

give him a small smile,