Four Brothers and a Bride

Chapter 9: Chapter 9

ASHAL

The first time it happened, I was twelve. My brothers and I were sent to a private school where the kids in our class treated us like garbage because they felt intimidated by us. They'd throw stuff at us in class when the teacher wasn't looking, call us names and sometimes make us trip and fall on our faces during lunch break.

Asher and Ashton fought back sometimes and got punished for it. Ashely was too small and too timid to retaliate. He was an easy target. I didn't refrain from doing anything because I was scared. I just thought if I failed to give them the satisfaction of pulling a reaction from me, they'd eventually stop. They didn't and when we went home with a cut lip or other bruises, father wasn't pleased.

One day, the bullies came for me and I snapped. I didn't think I was too angry. Ron was a big boy and thirteen at the time. He and his annoying pack of friends cornered me in the bathroom and hit me. The last thing I remember was their taunts as the rage bubbled inside me. I snapped and the world went black. I couldn't see anything for like fifteen seconds. When I blinked and came to, Ron was knocked out cold with a nosebleed. One of his lackeys was curled up by the sink, crying with fear-stricken eyes. He even wet himself when I tried to go close to him. The others had scampered away in fright, screaming for help at the top of their lungs. If my knuckle wasn't split open, bleeding and hurting, I wouldn't have believed the tales the survivors told the principal of the school. Mom and dad had been shocked. My brothers too. When we packed our things and left because mother wanted us to change schools, Ron stared fearfully at my brothers and I. Asher and Ashton enjoyed it. Ashely reveled in it while it lasted. I grew scared because I had no memory of the incident.

I've had quite a number of rage blackouts since then and woken up to the horrible reality of hurting people, especially the women I had been with at the time. The diagnosis was done after I killed a man. Father buried the crime, as well a few others that eventually followed. My family literally works overtime to hide my condition from the world.

Nine months ago, I had a one-night stand with a woman and almost killed her. After getting nursed back to health, she refused to be bought over and threatened to tell the world about my condition. Father stepped in and threatened the life of her loved ones. Mother promised to support her family financially in return for Olivia's agreement to sign an NDA. When Olivia was discovered pregnant two months later, our marriage was forcefully and secretly arranged. We lost the pregnancy eventually and things have been rocky between us.

Olivia hates me for ruining her life. Since our marriage, her every move is monitored. She has zero friends and mostly stays in my penthouse surrounded by bodyguards.

She is also constantly afraid of me. Once, when she tried to escape, I didn't take it well and I hurt her.

I know she has every right to hate me but I never stop trying to make amends. I love her and I will never stop trying to get better so we can rewrite our tragic love story. Today, I stopped by to check on her. She easily gets suffocated in the penthouse and loathes being followed around by guards. She texted me to come over and to get rid of the bodyguards for a few hours. I remember her sniffing the flowers I got her with stars in her eyes. She was making lunch and I volunteered to help her. Music floated in from the living room and Olivia danced barefoot in the kitchen. I don't recall any triggering comment or action on her part.

I just remember waking up on the living room sofa with a serrated knife in my bloody hands. My body quivers with shock at the sight of a blood trail leading up to the kitchen. When I follow it, Olivia is sprawled on the floor. Blood oozes from her wrist. That's when I text Asher. Asher says to text him first whenever I need help with Olivia.

While I cradle Olivia's head in my thighs and beg her to return to me, Asher's car roars into the driveway. He bursts through the door, yelling for me.

"In here!" I croak, choking back the tears. "Asher, I...I killed her. I did this." My brother crouches and checks Olivia's pulse. His face hardens. "I don't remember it. I s-swear, we were making lunch together and the next thing I knew, I was w-waking up on the sofa with a bloody knife." My nose runs with snort and I swipe at it. "I can't bear it. I can't lose her."

Asher shakes his head. "You won't lose her. Her pulse is weak but she's still alive. Come here, Ash. Why don't you go get cleaned up upstairs while I take a look at her."

"I'm a freak! A fucking monster!"

"Stop it, Ash! Don't say that"

"YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE." My heart breaks in tiny splinters as I cradle Olivia's head closer to my chest. Sobs quiver through my body. "Why am I not fated to be loved? Why do I end up hurting the people that put up with my demons?" Asher runs his hands over his face and huffs out an exasperated breath.

to let me look at her. Go get cleaned up. Olivia will be fine

have to call

"Upstairs, Ashal. Now!"

patience runs thin. Instantly, I snap out of it. "Upstairs." I reiterate with a shiver, carefully placing Olivia's head back on the floor. I feel really sad. Why am I such a monster to the woman I love? She doesn't deserve a flawed man like me. No woman does. She has put up with me for nearly a year now but my demons always get in the way

let her d-die,

"I won't."

flashes in my memory. Hard as I try, I can't connect the dots of the time I lost. What happened? How did I get to the sofa? Did I really cut her? My eyes swerve to the bathtub. I turn off the shower and move like a zombie to the tub. After filling it up with water, I lay inside and submerge myself. I am tired. I am sick of hurting people who dare to love me. Today, it's Olivia. A year

to the top. My chest tightens for lack of oxygen but I make no move to go up for some air. I remain still in my watery grave. It's the least I can do for my family; giving them a break from all the pain they've had to endure because of me. I hope Olivia and my previous victims can find it in their hearts to forgive me for not taking my life sooner. Just as my vision ebbs

one buddy,

"You're not dying on me. I won't allow it." Asher continues with a shaky voice. I blink my eyes open to stare up at his face. A thin smile plays on my lips as I note the

I was about to go

gives me a slap. "You think that's funny? DON'T

My eyes redden. "Olivia?"

a deep cut. I

to

don't fight to break it. He is uncharacteristically emotional today. He even allows a tear to

know what came over me. I was selfish. I didn't think of mom or the quad. I..." Asher takes my face in his hands

YOU TO BELIEVE THAT ASHAL. You're my sweet and kind brother. No one is perfect, not even father. Don't try to harm yourself,

"Asher..."

"Swear it!"

and we sniffle in

happened, both Olivia's accident, your suicide

chuckle at the

a finger in my face. "Olivia is sleeping now. She isn't running away or anything. I have called back the domestic

of them and sends texts instead. When I am satisfied that Olivia's

I have

"Did you tell them?"

ribs and eats. "No secrets from the

my cutlery. "I was hoping to stall for a bit. I don't want their