Chapter 30: Chapter 30

"How is she?"

"She hasn't spoken a word in days. She barely eats or drinks. You should come see her sir. She's depressed." Lily tells me. I press my eyes shut and sigh. I am not ready to face Olivia, not as Ashal or Asher. Either way, I won't be able to contain the pain or the shame. I killed my own baby! It's the most unforgivable sin.

That baby would have been mine and Olivia's. Having a baby together might have helped our relationship progress. I know it's selfish to think this way but I can't help it. Olivia will never forgive me as Ashal now. If she hated me once, she'll be murderous towards me now. For all she knows, she just lost Asher's baby. Even if she happens to find out later that the baby was mine, she'll want to kill me even more for the deception. I can't let her find out, ever.

"I'll come see her soon. Please take care of her." I hang up and toss my head back on the pilliow in anguish.

"How is she?" Ashton asks.

"Not good. I just ran, Ash. The moment she told me she lost our baby, I couldn't think or do anything else. I couldn't face her or myself. I ran away from there." I refrain from adding that I was tempted to walk into an oncoming vehicle and end it all. I don't want anyone's pity. I don't deserve it anymore than Olivia deserves to have a fucked up husband like me.

"Thank you." Ashton says, patting my shoulder. "For coming back home." I get his drift.

"I shouldn't have. I don't deserve to be here while my child..." The pain erupts in my gut. When Ashton tries to sympathize, I push him away. "No, I really don't deserve it. I could have stopped it all. I could have saved my poor child. Prior to the night I hit Olivia, I discovered something that made me mad at her."

I go ahead to recount how I discovered Olivia had messaged Demi.

"I tried to drink my pain away. I even consumed whiskey like you would. I hoped to forget her betrayal. The point is that I knew I was mad at her but I still went ahead to the penthouse knowing the risk. If I had stayed away from her for a week or two, my anger would have subsided and my baby would still be growing in her womb. I destroyed my future with Olivia."

Ashton's arms wrap around me, holding me in a tight embrace as tears wrack through my system. I don't know how long we stay like this but when I open my eyes, it's almost dusk and my phone is blaring in the dimness. I am all by myself. I grope for the phone just as the incoming call disconnects. When I check, it's from Lily. I gape in horror at the nine previous calls she has made to me while I was asleep. How did I sleep through the calls? Did Ashton pop a sleep-inducing pill along with my regular medication?

"Lily?" I call back.

She's out of breath and talking a mile in a minute. "Lily, calm down, what's wrong. I can't understand a word." Then my eyes boggle. "Olivia did what?" I leap out of my bed like it's on fire and bolt through the door. "Keep her sedated. I am on my way."

When the elevator won't open despite how many times I tap the control buttons, I sprint down the stairs, nearly bumping into Duncan.

"Sir, are you alright? You should be resting."

"I'm well rested, Duncan. Thank you." He regards me with suspicious eyes as I brush past him on bare feet to the garage. Thankfully, mom isn't around to stop me. However, I'm certain that everyone would soon come to know I left the house in a haste since Duncan knows. He's too loyal to my parents to cover for any of us.

I narrowly escape meeting with an accident twice on my way to the penthouse. While on my way, I have Lily on loudspeaker, reporting on Olivia's state of health. Olivia had attempted suicide but thankfully, Lily saved her.

When I get into the house and find Olivia looking impoverished, pale and sweaty on her bed, my heart breaks for her. She's has lost some weight.

"I have hidden all the knives and other sharp objects in the kitchen. I will also personally administer her drugs from now so she doesn't attempt to overdose."

"Thank you, Lily. I don't know what I would do without you."

"It's my job, sir. I'm happy to be of service."

My eyes narrow in anger. "What were you all doing?" I yell at the bodyguard by the door. "I PAY YOU TO PROTECT HER AND IF LILIY HADN'T BEEN HERE, MY WIFE WOULD BE DEAD BY NOW."

have beefed up security. Nothing of the sort will ever

THAT TO YOUR NEXT EMPLOYER. YOU'RE ALL RELIEVED OF YOUR DUTIES.

He bows and leaves.

Lily. She nods. I notice she is restless from the corner of my eye. She raises her head to stare at me and I imagine she has something to say but is afraid

Just say it!" I snap impatiently

me sir but I know it's not my place to tell on your wife." She is visibly shaking now. "I just don't think it is fair to keep you in the dark knowing what I

is it, Lily?" She tilts her head up

that the baby that died belonged to him and not you." Her eyes dip

would. Still, all I do is stare pitifully at Olivia. I have zero

ever again." When my darkened eyes meet hers,

"Y-Yes sir."

the drugs start wearing off an hour and a half later and she stirs awake. Relief floods through

"You're awake."

from her eyes. Ashal. It's Ashal, I want to scream but I know how that will go. Olivia takes my hand and plasters it on her wet cheeks. She rubs her face against it. "I knew you'd come back

deal with the pain all alone. How could you? Do I have to

my brother knowing fully well that will amount to our separation. While I was still trying to process that, you informed me that we lost our baby." I cradle my

you? Asher, you know I haven't let Ashal touch me for over seven months now. He and I are practically strangers. You are the only man I want and the

you completely,

mad that I got

course not, baby. I desperately want a baby with you or more if you wish. I am deeply saddened that we couldn't welcome our angel together. Please forgive me for not protecting you both." While

"Is something wrong?"

only reason you'll ever have a baby with a woman is if your father ordered you to or you needed one to achieve your goals." The color drains from my face. "That's why I didn't tell you. I was hoping to hide the pregnancy until it became too risky to abort. Now, you sit here and tell me you want to have babies with me? Who exactly are

fuss when a man only wants to have you in his bed without making a family with you and when he is prepared to give you the family you want,

You know I can't

rage that bubbles hot inside

not crazy; I am sick, I

tell me that there's a chance you might have accidentally fucked my brother thinking he was me?" My brows are furrowed with annoyance. Olivia takes the bait and quickly apologizes. When she tries to get up, the dizziness overtakes her and she almost crashes to the floor but

am not ready to become yours fully and I don't know how Ashal will take it when he finds out about us. I am making plans for us to ensure a smooth

I feel relieved that I have managed to salvage our relatinonship vicariously through Asher. It is not my brightest idea but my

"Ashal?"

interrupts our kiss. I look up and stare in shock at the unannounced

***

tiny light in

fine." I reiterate. My parents and brothers pay me no heed

of emotional stress but aside from that, his health is just fine. I'll advise you avoid anything that could jolt your

recommendations for my speedy recovery while the rest of my family stare at me like I am an experimental

I mutter under

"How could you not even leave me a message knowing how worried I'd be

sorry, mom. I had to see my wife. She wasn't

have said

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