Chapter 177: Grace: Fake It Til You Make It

I collapse where I am, curling my knees to my chest. My throat still feels tight.

Caine must think I’m certifiably insane. What kind of person freaks out the way I did? And the moment he grabbed my wrist, I shut down completely.

It wasn’t like he hurt me. It wasn’t like he did anything wrong. He was trying to talk to me in private. Perfectly understandable.

And yet my entire body reacted like he was about to throw me into traffic.

I slide up the bed until I can bury my face in a pillow.

"I’m losing it."

It’s the only explanation.

I smack my forehead against the pillow once. Twice. Three times. Maybe if I hit hard enough, I can knock some sense back into myself.

Heat crawls up my neck and spreads across my cheeks. Caine was so worried and gentle, he’d even asked if I thought he would hurt me. Of course I don’t think he’ll hurt me.

Well—not anymore, anyway.

"You’re crazy. You’ve gone insane. You’ve lost your mind."

Each sentence is punctuated with a frustrated thump of my face into fluff.

The embarrassment is almost worse than the sudden spike of fear. Now, anyway.

My heartbeat gradually evens out, and the flush of heat going up my neck and prickling along my scalp recedes.

But the self-loathing stays.

It doesn’t make sense. Caine wasn’t yelling at me. He didn’t grab me with any real force. Sure, I couldn’t pull away easily, but it wouldn’t have been impossible.

Nothing about the situation should have triggered such a level of panic.

So why did it feel like—

feet. The smell of mold and dust. My

Please let me out.

I’ll be good.

promise I’ll be

back where it belongs. Locked away.

different. Completely different. It was a big mistake. My

Rafe said it was

me. Not the new one, who’s cruel and strange and somehow thinks he’d have Ellie on one side and me on

to

wolf is not the same

heave a sigh before pushing myself up,

in pillows is childish. Get over it and move

into the fake zen pose people do when they’re trying to convince

Me.

I’m people.

trying to impress lifelong yoga-doers (not me), I suck in a deep breath and let it out

way out of

be shameless and pretend nothing

maybe Caine won’t say

totally insane and apparently prone to freaking out when

wasn’t even

getting from this is

press the heels of my hands against my eyes, watching the colorful shapes bounce around behind my eyelids. Focusing on them makes it easier to calm down and slow my racing

Okay.

when her boyfriend dragged her to a private room to discuss bringing

off my face, but my

mirror, leaning in

maybe someone auditioning to play a haunted doll. The reddened eyes from almost crying

on, Grace. You’ve faked being okay a thousand times.

shake out my hands out and

Take two.

I think of something genuinely pleasant: Bun’s excitement every time we

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