Grace of a Wolf by Lenaleia

Chapter 177: Grace: Fake It Til You Make It

I collapse where I am, curling my knees to my chest. My throat still feels tight.

Caine must think I’m certifiably insane. What kind of person freaks out the way I did? And the moment he grabbed my wrist, I shut down completely.

It wasn’t like he hurt me. It wasn’t like he did anything wrong. He was trying to talk to me in private. Perfectly understandable.

And yet my entire body reacted like he was about to throw me into traffic.

I slide up the bed until I can bury my face in a pillow.

"I’m losing it."

It’s the only explanation.

I smack my forehead against the pillow once. Twice. Three times. Maybe if I hit hard enough, I can knock some sense back into myself.

Heat crawls up my neck and spreads across my cheeks. Caine was so worried and gentle, he’d even asked if I thought he would hurt me. Of course I don’t think he’ll hurt me.

Well—not anymore, anyway.

"You’re crazy. You’ve gone insane. You’ve lost your mind."

Each sentence is punctuated with a frustrated thump of my face into fluff.

The embarrassment is almost worse than the sudden spike of fear. Now, anyway.

My heartbeat gradually evens out, and the flush of heat going up my neck and prickling along my scalp recedes.

But the self-loathing stays.

It doesn’t make sense. Caine wasn’t yelling at me. He didn’t grab me with any real force. Sure, I couldn’t pull away easily, but it wouldn’t have been impossible.

Nothing about the situation should have triggered such a level of panic.

So why did it feel like—

my feet. The smell of mold and dust. My throat hurts; I’ve been screaming for

Please let me out.

I’ll be good.

promise I’ll

the memory back where it belongs. Locked away. Buried deep, where it’s been for four

different. It was a big mistake.

Rafe said it was

who’s cruel and strange and somehow thinks he’d have Ellie on one side and me on

to linger

helping a rogue wolf is not

pushing myself up, forcing my sluggish, overwhelmed

in pillows is childish. Get

semblance of order and cross my legs into the fake zen

Me.

I’m people.

me), I suck in a deep breath and let it out in slow,

way out of

and pretend

Caine won’t say

apparently prone to freaking out when

wasn’t

to be getting from this is

behind my eyelids. Focusing on them makes it easier to calm down and slow my racing

Okay.

shamelessly pretend like she didn’t have an absolute fucking meltdown when her boyfriend dragged her to a private room to discuss

a smile off my face, but my cheeks

mirror, leaning in

like a lunatic. Or maybe someone auditioning to play a haunted doll. The reddened eyes from almost crying don’t help,

You’ve faked being okay a thousand times. This

hands out and roll

Take two.

pleasant: Bun’s