Her Return, His Regret by Natie

Chapter 133~ For better, for worse

Lora froze, her hands which Ryan was holding trembling in his hold.

The restaurant was warm but the warmth did nothing to defrost the icy reality that had just been laid bare. A chill ran down her spine, making her blood run cold. Was Ryan really dying?

She stared at him, her lips parting but no words came out of her mouth.

Her mind was spinning with several thoughts. A thousand emotions rushed into her at once- anger and devastation.

"Lora-"

"Ryan... how could you think like that?" She managed to whisper although her voice was shaking. "Why would you throw away your life like it was nothing?" "Back then, my life was nothing without you in it," Ryan admitted. "Everything felt meaningless. I was consumed by guilt and regret. I had to make it right somehow. Although my death couldn't bring you back, I knew I would join you and make it up to you in the afterlife." "Make it up to me?" Lora repeated, her voice rising and raw with emotion. "Did you ever sit to think if I would have wanted you to do that? That was a selfish decision, Ryan. I never asked for your life. You did it for yourself, to make yourself feel better." Ryan looked at Lora and admitted, "Yes, my love. I was selfish. I was drowning in pain and didn't think about the consequences. I didn't know I had children then but I should have done everything in my power to get better for myself and those who love me. I shouldn't have given up on myself like that. Luckily, I found out you were alive and it gave me hope. I wanted to live again- with you and our children. I thought I could fix everything... that I could get better and grow old with you like I promised. Now..." "Now what?" Lora questioned, pain flickering through her eyes. "Are you saying you won't be able to keep your promise?"

"There's no future for us... I'll just drag you down," Ryan responded in a low voice.

Lora's tears flowed freely, her anger still bubbling up within her. "Why do you think you get to decide if we have a future or not? Ryan, I'm your wife, what makes you think you can shut me out and let me watch as you fade away?" Ryan closed his eyes, the pain in his heart doubling with each second. He remarked, "I'm sorry, Lora. Nothing can be done about my situation... the donor is gone and without-"

"No, Ryan," Lora stated, looking into his eyes. "I'm not giving up on you. There has to be another way... we can search for another donor. I'll also get tested to see if I'm a match. You're my husband and I'll do all I can to make sure you get better. We can't resign ourselves to fate."

As she said this, she couldn't help but recall how Ryan mostly looked exhausted. His pale skin, the bags under his eyes. How could she not notice that he was sick?

Was he going to undergo such a painful process alone and pretend like nothing was wrong?

Her stomach churned at the thought.

At the same time, Ryan glanced at Lora, his heart feeling warm at her words.

He reached over and wiped her tears before saying, "I don't deserve you, my love. You're so kind-hearted. However I've tried all I can... it was hard to find a match and now that my time is running out, my chances are slim. But I will continue searching for a solution.., I do all I can to survive."

"It's not over until it's over, Ryan... we can beat this And I'll stand by your side. Have you forgotten the vows we exchanged? For better, for worse, in sickness and in health. I'm annoyed that you hid this from me but won't waste time dwelling on it, after all, we may not have enough time," Lora said after sniffing back her tears.

Ryan smiled before pulling out some documents as he said, "This is a file for the transfer of my shares and property-"

"What are you doing?" Lora asked, frowning. "I'm not going to accept that because you're going to survive this, Ryan."

"It's for the kids..." Ryan said.

you. And just so you know, I would hit rock bottom with you in a heartbeat, knowing we would rise up together

stay with me when I'm sick, or when I'm at my best, that's the same way t expect you to want me to stay te by your

and walked around the table. He

better. I won't give up so easily... not when I have such a

"We will get through this together... But, I want you to tell your family. This is not

""I will-"

help us with looking for a

hugging her tighter. "I'll

"Good," Lora replied.

limp in her arms and her heart jumped to

"Ryan?!"

132~

Ryan, her heart sinking to

that?" She asked in a shaky

a guilty look crossing his face as he answered, "Unfortunately, yes, I am. Before I knew you were alive, I was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome. It's a rare blood disorder- it's a disease that's eating away at my ability to produce healthy blood cells-" "Wait," Lora interrupted, her face turning pale. "Are you

was going to get cured. We had found a donor for the stem cells. I would have told you before doing

two

Doctor Steve's office, feeling

I have? Is there really nothing else that can be done?" Ryan asked, his voice

you have a few months to live if you're lucky. But that's just an estimation, you can die on any day without warning. Your MDS

him. Why did things turn out like this? Just when he took his

started treatment when he was first diagnosed... however, at that time, he was filled with guilt and

his doctor to find a way to treat him and they quickly found

person missing, there's little I can do

he give to Lora now? That he had promised to grow old with her

Lawrence and instructed, "We have to find the donor and find out why

change of mind," Lawrence replied. "We can't force her if she has second

clenched his hands into fists. "I don't have enough time, so I need to find her and try

was how Ryan

went to the locations where she was last seen, however,

her.

like she had vanished

The only option he had was to spend his remaining time with his family as

##End of Flashback##