Chapter 33

JESSICA

Days had passed and I think everything just went back to normal. Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe I just got better at pretending

Pierce is beside me, saying something about Mom and her medicine schedule, but it’s all a blur. His voice is just noise now, I nod when I’m supposed to nod. I smile when I’m supposed to smile. I’m getting good at it,

Logan tried calling. He called once. Then twice. I stared at the phone until it stopped ringing. I told myself if I answered, I’d have to say it out loud. I’d have to hear myself admit that everything fell apart. So, I didn’t pick up.

Grayson… Goddess. Grayson came to the house a few days ago. I heard the knock.

I felt him through the door like he was a ghost clawing at me from the other side. I didn’t move. I didn’t breathe. I just pressed my back to the wall and prayed he’d leave. He didn’t, not at first. He stayed. I could hear him outside–breathing, shitting, whispering my name so broken and desperate it almost cracked me open again. But I didn’t open the door not when he’s asking me what he did wrong for me to break up with him.

I didn’t open the door because if I saw him, I wouldn’t survive it. Because if I looked him in the eyes and saw him shattered, it would ruin me. Because even now, even after everything, some stupid, bruised part of me still loves him.

Pierce found me hours later, curled up on the floor, still huping my knees, still shaking like I could shake the memory out of me. He didn’t say anything. He just picked me up like I weighed nothing and carried me to bed. That night, Pierce tucked me in like I was five years old again. He sat with me until I fell asleep. I think he’s scared if he leaves me alone too long, I won’t be here when he gets back.

I’m scared of that too.

“Jess,” Pierce says, stopping right before the door. His hand hovers near my elbow like he’s scared I’ll bolt. He insists on driving me to class. even though I tell him a hundred times I can manage. “You sure about this?”

I give him the fakest smile I’ve ever made in my life. “I’m fine, Pierce. Seriously.”

He doesn’t push. He just stands there, watching me with that same worried look that makes my chest splinter apart.

Istep into the classroom. I barely glance around–but my eyes catch on him immediately. Logan. He’s lounging back in his chair like he doesn’t have a single care in the world, messy hair, hall–lidded eyes. When he catches me looking, he gives me a lazy grin.

I force a smile back. Honestly, I am not sure why I am even attending class. Mom is worried when I skip classes last week so I promised her attend today, I don’t know what the teacher is saying. I don’t care. For the past 2 hours, my mind is numb.

It was when the bell rings i stop scribbling on my notes. However, I stay seated waiting for everyone to go out of the classroom. I waited until it was me and Logan left.

He tilts his head a little. “You good, Jess?”

“I’m sorry.” I blurt out, voice cracking, barely above a whisper. I can’t meet his eyes.

Logan frowns. Steps closer. “For what?”

“For dragging you into my mess. For-“My voice breaks again. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, fighting for control. “For being this

There’s a long, aching pause. Logan shits his weight, be wants to reach for me but doesn’t know if he’s allowed

“Jess,” he says, softer this time. We’ve known each other since we were kids, and I just ruined us.“It’s me. You don’t have to apologize.

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Chapter 33

off, gripping the strap of my bag like it’s the only thing

know,” Logan says

to pretend everything’s okay, to be somebody else for

it’s still him.

And it hurts.

“You don’t have to

a sob that burns all the

“After you kissed me?”

me, like he’s trying to figure out what piece of me to catch before I fall apart again. I

want to tell him I’m so tired. That I miss Grayson so much it feels like I’m dying a little more every time blink. But

“I’m sorry

Logan.

mean it. Goddess, I mean it. “I’m

his jaw with a wince. “Hey,” he says, half–laughing,

stabs me

tighter around myself, trying to

to make it easier for me. “It’s okay, Jess,” he says, voice dipping soft like a secret just for me. “I’m your best friend, remember? Baby, I’d take a punch

almost makes me

the ceiling, biting hard on my lip to keep it together.

he used to sneak cookies with behind the cafeteria.

checking again if I’m okay, I nod–too fast, too fake–but he lets it go, nudging the door open for

out first and

Grayson is there.

just a few feet away, casual in a way that’s anything but casual Hands shoved deep into his pockets. Shoulders tense beneath his jacket. His head tipped down, but his eyes–God,

He’s a mess

cheekbone. His knuckles look raw too, like he’s

5 Aug•

Chapter 33

Logan.

nervous, then steps back think i should go,” he mutters

don’t say anything. I

glare as he goes, but Grayson doesn’t even blink at him. He’s not looking at Logan. He’s

looking at me.

it hurts to move, like every bone in his body’s bruised

blond dried in the corner of his mouth where it split. His eyes–god, his eyes–they’re hollowed out inged dark like he hasn’t slept, like he’s bem dragged through every circle of hell and still begged for more if

last time.

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