Chapter 58

JESSICA

I only cried this hard during my father’s funeral. A sob escaped my lips but I continue to wash away Theo’s touch, scrubbing until my skin way row and bleeding in places. It wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough to erase what happened.

I’m so angry at myself. So fucking angry I could scream until my throat bleeds too, Why didn’t I see it coming? Why didn’t I fight Harder? The soap slips from my fingers, clattering against the shower floor as my knees finally give out. I slide down the wall, hot water mixing with hotter

tears.

“Stupid,” I whisper, digging my nails into my palms. “So goddamn stupid.”

Dad always said I had fighter’s instincts. “You’re a wolf, honey, not a rabbit,” he’d tell me. What would he say now? Seeing his daughter curled up, shivering, trying to scrub away shame instead of fighting back?

Why couldn’t I have been that brave? That quick? That strong?

A laugh bubbles up–bitter, hollow–mixing with my tears. I slam the water off and wrap myself in a towel, not caring that water still drips down my legs onto the floor. Everything hurts–inside, outside. My mind races like a trapped animal, replaying every second, every mistake.

My phone buzzes on the counter. Three missed calls. All from Grayson.

I throw on the first clothes I find–an old tank top and sweatpants–and dive into my bed, burying myself under the comforter. The darkness feels good. Safe. The only place I can hide from what happened, from what I let happen.

Suddenly, the door creaks open and I instantly knew who it was because I smell his cologne.

Grayson.

I curl tighter, pulling the sheets over my head, making myself as small as possible. I can’t let him see me like this. He’ll know. One look and he’ll know something happened, and then-

sat on the edge of my bed, hands trying to search for mine. “Where were you today? You told the

did. I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t even want to see

shifts as Grayson moves closer. I can feel his warmth through the blanket–it

sensation I can’t handle.

me,” he whispers, gently tugging the covers. I clutch

I’m fine.” My voice

my shoulder but is actually my hip. I jerk away instinctively, my body reacting

his voice is soft, concerned.

blanket, just enough to see his face. Mistake. His eyes are full of that protective worry that makes my chest

trying to look anywhere but at him. “Stomach

my forehead. The tender gesture

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Chapter 58

wet he observes. “You’re taking hot showers

answer, he leans down, pressing his lips to my forehead like he’s checking

murmurs against my skin. His lips move to my temple, then my cheek.

against his chest–not hard, just enough.

to search my face. I see confusion,

something happen?” he asks, voice

to sit up. The blanket falls away and I see his eyes catch on my arms–on the red marks from scrubbing

just in a mood, okay? Nothing happened.” I force a laugh that sounds hollow even to my ears. “Can’t a girl just

“Sure. But most girls don’t look like they’ve been crying for hours when

instead of terrified. “Maybe

my hand under the blanket. I let him take it, even

he leans in again, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. “Whatever it is,” he whispers, “you

Almost let the walls come crashing down. But then I imagine what would happen–what Grayson would

I can’t.

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