Chapter 100
*
༨ ཋཱི, 63% –
JESSICA
Grayson is sleeping beside me. He looks so peaceful. I rested my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as quickly as my own.
Maybe we’re both pretending to be okay. Maybe that’s enough for tonight.
His fingers twitch where they rest at my hip–instinctive, possessive even in sleep. He stirred, like he felt me watching him. His lashes fluttered, but his eyes didn’t open. Instead, he exhaled quietly and kept his hand firm on my waist.
“What are you thinking?” he murmured, voice rough from sleep.
“Hm?” I let my head rest on his chest, hoping he couldn’t hear how my pulse was going wild. “Nothing.”
A lie because I’m thinking about everything.
His thumb moves, slow drag along my waist, drawing small circles over the fabric of my shirt. It’s nothing. It’s everything. I close my eyes and try to memorize the weight of his hand–because part of me still thinks this won’t last, and I want to keep something when it ends.
“Jessica,” he says again, softer this time, and I don’t know if it’s a question or a reassurance.
I shift slightly, angling my body toward him. “I missed this,” I say, barely a whisper.
His eyes open at that. Dark, heavy with sleep and something else–something older, aching.
“I know,” he says, voice raw. “I’ve missed you too, baby.” Grayson rolls halfway on top of me, pinning my body between the mattress and the full weight
of him. “I’ve missed us.”
I tilt my head just enough for my mouth to graze his jaw. “Do you think…” I start, then pause, wetting my bottom lip with a flick of my tongue. “Do you think after this… everything will go back to normal?”
“There’s no such thing as normal after you,” he says, voice low and rough, like it’s dragging truth straight from his chest.
That makes me bite down on a pout. I turn my face slightly, cheek brushing the pillow. “That sounds like a no.”
“It sounds like I don’t want normal if it means pretending we didn’t happen.”
1 close my eyes for half a second–just to breathe, just to not let everything show on my face. The part of me that wants to believe him, to trust this, to let go of every reason I built for keeping him at arm’s length.
But it’s also the part that’s terrified.
“Since…” My voice is soft, my words catching like thorns in my throat. “Since when did you know I’m your mate, Grayson?”
a long time now. Turning it over in my head, over and over again like a stone in my palm. Wishing I could forget the question–and even more than that, desperate to believe the answer if it’s
still above me.
“I want to know”
need to
know about it or I lose my
says
1/4
Chapter 100
up at him. His eyes are
The words fall out of me, cracked and raw. “Why were you such an
voice trembles but I
keep going. Pecause ill stop now,
me feel stupid. Small. Like I didn’t belong near you. Like I was just some
finally. “You think I wanted
we ever had this conversation between us but then Grayson always lies to me before. He kisses me and tells me lies
wild and… good. Too good. You walked into a room and
voice drops
I was
My pulse trips
the way I wanted to…” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t have
hands curt slightly
didn’t you just walk away?” I ask, “You didn’t have to torture me, Grayson.
walk away,” he growls. “God,
“Then why didn’t you?”
I couldn’t he says, eyes blazing. “Even then. I couldn’t stay away from
the bond was there all along Then how the hell is
stare up at the ceiling like it might spell out the answer for me in the
it,” I whisper before i can
to read me, even
of it,” admit, because if i don’t say it now, it’s going to fester. “How can it be you and
his face. I should stop. I should shut up. But the words keep pouring,
in my bones Like something alive that’s not mine
him “But with you?” I’m sorry Grays. “With you 8’s just… silence. Nothing. I keep waiting to feel something when you touch
stabbed him But I can’t stop.
2/4
26 Aug
Chapter 100
to be you” The confession rips out of me like a sob. “God, I want it to be you. Do you know how many nights I begged for it
Pain. Fury.
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