His Trouble Maker
Chapter 107
Chapter 107
Jessica
Grayson has always loved me.
I think he forgot to mention how he also can’t keep his stare to himself.
The truth is, the reason why I’m always disobedient with him is not really because I hate him.
Sometimes, he sneaks behind my brother’s back just to spit an insult into my ear.
Most of the time, I catch him watching me from across the room like he’s imagining how I’d taste if he stopped pretending
he was good.
And I think I took that stare as proof–proof that he hated what I am.
So I humiliate myself more just so I can tease him more.
Being hated by him is fun when I was younger.
I liked the way his jaw clenched. The way he snapped when I smiled at someone else.
The way he always said no but never walked away.
He’d corner me and growl like an animal and say the most disgusting things and I’d drip for him like I was born to be ruined by his voice.
I never admitted it.
I used to think I was taunting him.
But maybe I just wanted to be ruined.
By him.
Only him.
-And now it’s different. Now everything’s splitting apart and I don’t recognize my voice when I scream. I can’t even trust the
words in my mouth because half of them aren’t mine. They taste like rot. Like him. Like Riot.
I think something’s in me, crawling up through my blood, trying to unmake me. I think Grayson knows. I think that’s why he looks at me like I’m already gone.
And when he ties me down and stares like he hates himself for what he has to do–it makes me
his hands, at least I’ll die
them to stop
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Chapter 107
every time I
“Jess…”
*Jess…open your eyes!”
He looks so worried.
looks so worried
strength, I
doesn’t belong to me anymore. But I find him. I always do. Grayson.
“Hey,” he whispers.
His voice breaks.
be okay. That he better not shed tears for me. My lips
feel like it’s the last time I’ll ever see his
Grayson before I even knew what it meant. Before I knew that love could feel like this–like a fever, like drowning, like chains I never wanted to break out of.
the reason I keep coming back, even when I don’t know who I am anymore. He’s the reason I fight the voice in my head that says let go. Because if I let go, I let go
And I’m not ready.
I’ll never be ready.
I love you. I fucking love you and you don’t get to look at
You’re the only one who
breathe. All I can do is bleed in his arms and pray he hears me in the way I look at him now. Please, Grayson. Please
“Are we far yet?!”
to hear fear in my brother’s
again, rawer now, pleading.
want to tell him I forgive him for not loving me the right way. For never
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Fri, 29 Aug • @
Chapter 107
head. Can’t blink
Grayson to their
the wolf inside me now. But it’s not mine. Not really. It’s bigger. Wrong. Its heartbeat doesn’t sync with mine. It snarls every time Grayson touches me and then purrs when I think of Riot,
know it’s not mine.
1 feel invaded.
Infected.
by memory–until I can’t tell which thoughts are mine and which ones
blink, barely. Just enough to see a shadow moving above me–Grayson’s face, but smeared and flickering, like I’m seeing him through water. I think he’s speaking. I can’t make out the
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