Chapter 137

JESSICA

I want to die.

:

I can die right here and can only think of Grayson and Pierce.

My whole body aches and I sob a little harder not caring if Riot will hear me.

After he… After what Theo did to me, he throws me back into the cell like he did not violate me.

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I sob and shake my head and sob again because I can’t stop him. Suddenly I’m that omega, young, stupid and weak who cannot stop anyone who tries to hurt her.

I don’t care if Riot hears me. I don’t care if he laughs. I don’t care if he howls.

I just need this to stop.

But it doesn’t.

It keeps happening in my head, in my skin, in the stretch that won’t close. It keeps happening like a looped prayer I can’t un–pray. I blink and he’s still inside me. I breathe and it still smells like him–wine, spit, copper, god.

Why is this happening to us.

I don’t mean the pack. I don’t mean wolves. I mean me and Grayson and Pierce. I mean the way we look at each other like maybe we’ll get out, like maybe we can survive it if we stay stitched together, but I’m coming apart, I’m leaking through the seams and no one is stopping it, no one is even looking.

Why is this happening to me.

I was good. I was obedient. I wore the collar, I bowed my head. I didn’t fight. I never fought. I took what they gave me, even when it burned, even when it made me shake so bad I couldn’t stand.

And still it wasn’t enough.

I try to curl up, try to make myself smaller, I fucking try to unlove Grayson so why…why?!

I sob again, harder this time, choking on it. I press my palm flat over my mouth like that’ll stop the sounds but they keep coming, keep pushing out around my fingers, wrecked little whimpers like a pup left out in the cold, forgotten, wrong.

me again. I want Riot to break the door down and I want him to stay the fuck

none of

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Chapter 137

think

I don’t deserve

Not after this.

how many hours

:

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once, hours ago—maybe longer–tried to scream for Grayson, for Pierce, for Riot, for anyone,

“Riot?”

Nothing.

from salt and shame and the smoke–theo left behind inside my skull.But I crawl

“Riot.”

“Riot, are–are you-?”

press my hand against the bars, slick with blood not mine, something crusted

Please be alive,” I say, mouth against the cold metal, tongue stupid from dehydration. “I—I need you to be–I need–I

Someone.

chain across

real,” he

against the iron until

“Kill….me.”

the chain is real. I don’t know if Riot’s body is

again, and this time it’s closer to a sob, closer to a curse, closer to what I mean,

My chain stretches. My knees scrape through a puddle that smells like me and him and Theo and a thousand hours of not–clean–enough suffering “You’re

“But I need your fucking eyes open. I need your body breathing. I need–I need you alive enough to get

9:34 Thu, Sep 4

Chapter 137

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it. I let my body fall flat, cheek down against stone like it’ll listen better if I lower myself enough. “You need to get here. We need to be touching, I can’t–can’t do this if

“Come on, Riot, Reach for my

him,

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