Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem

Chapter 411

Her eyes were wide as saucers, brimming with earnestness. "I'm telling you! Elijah's dad is a total jerk! Why can't you understand that?" she exclaimed.

Tarquin, trying to maintain his composure, struggled to keep his breathing steady. "And who am I, may I ask?"

"You? Well, you're not exactly a barrel of laughs, but kinda cute, actually!" Elysia pondered, tilting her head as she leaned closer. "Huh? Aren't you Elijah? My son! When did you get so big? Weren't you just five?"

Curiosity got the better of her, and she reached out to pinch his cheek.

Tarquin, visibly annoyed, stood up abruptly from the couch, causing Elysia to lose her balance and bump into the coffee table with a 'thud.'

She bounced back up, "Who hit me?!"

Tarquin could only facepalm. How could anyone be this clueless? It was utterly baffling! Clearly, getting any sense out of her was out of the question for now. The so-called confession she'd made was impossible to take at face value.

his frustration, Tarquin helped her up. "Nobody hit you. Go

was no chance to pull her hair for a DNA sample,

hurt if nobody hit me?"

all in your head. You're not really in

true!

won't feel it

escorted her to bed, forcefully tucking her in. He then retreated to his study, lighting a cigarette and taking deep, silent drags. After a while, feeling enough time had passed and Elysia was likely asleep, he went to check on her. Entering the bedroom, he turned on the bedside

moment before softly

Tarquin reached out to pluck a strand of her hair for a DNA test, a sudden "crash!" startled him—a vase had fallen from the

shattered vase but no culprit in sight.

just broke," Tarquin explained

went to check on Elysia, who remained undisturbed by the noise, thanks to her drunken slumber. "Why is Mommy sleeping in Daddy's room?"

have the room. I'm sleeping in the