Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem

Tarquin nodded. “Yeah, but I'll need a little chemical help."

"Chemical help? You mean something that erases memories? As far as I know, there's no drug on earth that can make someone forget a chunk of time just like that," Tracey said, frowning.

Tracey sighed. “Even I haven't managed to invent anything like that, and I've tried."

Tarquin grinned. "No, Grandma, you misunderstood. I'm talking about a hallucinogen."

"...Oh, a hallucinogen. Well, we have some of that around here. We used to use it to scare off hunters and trespassers," Tracey replied, a hint of pride in her voice.

"But it's got its downsides. It doesn't work the same on everyone."

Elysia piped in, her tone gentle but firm. “Tarquin, you know Grandma and Grandpa just want to live quietly up here in the mountains. Off the grid. They don't want anyone finding us."

The message was clear: whatever Tarquin did, it had to keep every single trespasser quiet. No loose ends.

Tarquin nodded again, serious this time. "I get it. The hallucinogen is just a backup, not the main plan. I've got other tricks up my sleeve. You just stay with Grandma and help her out. I'll take care of the rest."

Elysia looked at him with pure gratitude and no small amount of admiration. "Okay!"

"Grandma, you can trust Tarquin. If he

as she looked at Tarquin. "You're a good kid.

Tracey, he was the perfect grandson-well-

love my family. Elysia's grandma was his grandma

Tracey said, then led Tarquin to her cozy little cabin and

the kids to tidy up the rooms and get dinner started probably a hearty beef stew, some cornbread, and a big apple pie

hallucinogen in hand, Tarquin followed Elliot to

computer spending hours every day gaming and tinkering. But what most people didn't know was that Howard's name, whispered in hacker circles, was enough to send shivers through the spines of CEOs

he'd faked his own death,

could bet half the tech industry and more than a

they were, would bow deeply if they

countries were in a permanent state of

had labeled him

could have been just as legendary, if he hadn't been more

himself at home at Howard's computer, typing in the password with practiced ease.

set up all around the woods," Elliot explained. "Anybody sets foot within a mile, the alarm

these heat signatures, then figure out how to chase