Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem

Tarquin nodded. “Yeah, but I'll need a little chemical help."

"Chemical help? You mean something that erases memories? As far as I know, there's no drug on earth that can make someone forget a chunk of time just like that," Tracey said, frowning.

Tracey sighed. “Even I haven't managed to invent anything like that, and I've tried."

Tarquin grinned. "No, Grandma, you misunderstood. I'm talking about a hallucinogen."

"...Oh, a hallucinogen. Well, we have some of that around here. We used to use it to scare off hunters and trespassers," Tracey replied, a hint of pride in her voice.

"But it's got its downsides. It doesn't work the same on everyone."

Elysia piped in, her tone gentle but firm. “Tarquin, you know Grandma and Grandpa just want to live quietly up here in the mountains. Off the grid. They don't want anyone finding us."

The message was clear: whatever Tarquin did, it had to keep every single trespasser quiet. No loose ends.

Tarquin nodded again, serious this time. "I get it. The hallucinogen is just a backup, not the main plan. I've got other tricks up my sleeve. You just stay with Grandma and help her out. I'll take care of the rest."

Elysia looked at him with pure gratitude and no small amount of admiration. "Okay!"

"Grandma, you can trust Tarquin. If

she looked at Tarquin. "You're a good kid.

was the

love me, love my family. Elysia's grandma was his grandma too, as

need anything else besides the hallucinogen, just say the word. Make yourself at home," Tracey said, then led Tarquin to her cozy

to tidy up the rooms and get dinner started probably a hearty beef stew, some

in hand, Tarquin

to Elysia, Howard was the classic quirky old guy glued to his computer spending hours every day gaming and tinkering. But what most people didn't know was that Howard's name, whispered in hacker circles, was enough to

he'd faked his own death, retired, and vanished

of hiding, you could bet half the tech industry and more than a few governments

they were, would bow deeply if they

military networks in half a dozen countries were in a permanent state of panic-firewalls up,

nations had labeled him Public Enemy

as legendary, if he hadn't been more interested in making money than in

practiced ease. A few quick clicks later, the screen

got surveillance set up all around the woods," Elliot explained. "Anybody sets foot within a mile, the alarm goes off

signatures, then figure out how to chase them off," he continued, scrolling