Loose 421


I felt like a plastic bag just drifting wherever the wind took me, powerless to steer my own life.

Ever since I met Ryan, everything has been out of my hands.

“Ryan, I’ve been on and off with Nathan so many times. I feel like such a heartbreaker, totally irresponsible. Are you sure you want someone like me?” I didn’t want to trash myself, but that’s just how it is–my feelings are all over the place, and I can’t seem to control them.

Ryan looked at me, eyes wild and intense. “Good and bad aren’t for the world to decide. I make up my own mind about you”

“I’m worried you’ll regret this someday, thinking I’m not faithful when it comes to relationships,” I said, half–joking, half-

serious.

“You’ve got money and looks. What is there for you to be afraid of losing?” Ryan shot back, and it hit me hard.

I stared at him, stunned. He curled his lips into a wicked smirk. “I stopped believing in ‘forever ages ago. Relationships only exist when there’s mutual attraction. You really are a heartbreaker–always making promises and never keeping them.”

I was stunned. Not long ago, I thought Ryan was just this sweet, naive guy.

innocence was just an act–he

stammered, trying

it. “Yeah, nobody really gets to do whatever they want. That’s

you’re so young. Why do you carry so much weight on your shoulders?” I asked, feeling both

his gaze, his expression shadowed with melancholy. “Everyone thinks I was dealt a winning hand, but nobody sees the thorns and fangs hiding behind it–a forest of


steel drum. I listened to them drinking and feasting, chatting about how much

up stuck in another steel drum,

handsome face, unable to imagine the kind

reached

felt like he just needed someone

your life isn’t perfect anymore because of the divorce. If that’s true, then my soul is missing a piece too. I’m just as

so slightly, as if a part of his soul

one of those people in the crowd who envied you. I never really tried to

and gave a nonchalant smile. “It’s alright. I’m used to it. Right now, all I care about is figuring

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6:57 pm M MA

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