I Am The Luna

Chapter 119

I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse Chapter 119

An Exchange
SEBASTIAN.

All I see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.

I’ve lost her.

She will never forgive me, and why should she?

I brought this on myself…

The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done.

Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and there’s nothing I can do but accept it.

I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.

All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything happened, they would all suffer the consequences.

I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone. Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any hesitation.

I deserved that.

There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway. When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.

How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.

I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me…

The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time I’ve caused her pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the inside.

She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby. 1

I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.

I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.

My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.

Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?

“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors. Something must have happened…

I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably watching me in this room, anyway.

I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless. Gaultier slams his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.

“Calm the fuck down. We can’t let…” he trails off when he sees me.

ask, walking over to them, and shoving my hands into the pockets of my

need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to

due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not fully recovered, but I

so fuck

going on,” I shoot back coldly, about

doesn’t involve

it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking times they figured out the cameras?” He

a brow. “Cameras? What are

they understood the message.

a step ahead instead of being spied on

in your shitty pack!” Gaultier snarls about to shove me when Zade

him.

I’m doing my fucking all to stop myself from

hear it, the extremely silent footsteps of Lawrence. He was freaking silent, even more than me, able to mask his scent and heartbeat efficiently and I don’t think he even realises I can sense him and that

listen to him, and have any of you notified Gerard of this? It’s no small matter. If something

they

stopped,

are we going to tell him? That somehow, they found

you think they’ve

do you mean?”

mean our people in that pack. Maybe we do need to tell Gerard and Father right now,” Zade says

do,” I say, just as

hist voice comes from to the left, making both men tense as

Zade says,

happened?” he

this,

Agatha. All the cameras have been pulled.” Zade says, making

Agatha?

look up sharply, my heart

Mom?

it must be

is spinning as Lawrence

See if you can mind

and is this my mother?” I ask.

Lawrence looks at me.

and Gaultier’s so he can mind link her as they are family.” He says, almost

What?

that a surprise to

gut. “No, I mean- yes, about Gaultier, but Mom belongs on our side. She’s always been my greatest cheerleader, to know that even now

good.”

doesn’t. How could she do this? Everything was a

storm as I try to keep

She’s been in the safe house. My stomach churns and it’s taking my all not to react. I fucking pray

he walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulder. “Now. How about the two of us have

If Mom is captured, then

He smiles.

woman may have shot you, but I don’t think she

isn’t my woman.” I correct him and I fucking mean it because I don’t fucking deserve her. The memory of her touch, her body against mine,

don’t deserve

as he pats my back, a move that irks

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