I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse Chapter 119
An Exchange
SEBASTIAN.
All I see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.
I’ve lost her.
She will never forgive me, and why should she?
I brought this on myself…
The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done.
Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and there’s nothing I can do but accept it.
I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.
All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything happened, they would all suffer the consequences.
I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone. Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any hesitation.
I deserved that.
There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway. When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.
How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.
I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me…
The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time I’ve caused her pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the inside.
She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby. 1
I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.
I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.
My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.
Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?
“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors. Something must have happened…
I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably watching me in this room, anyway.
I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless. Gaultier slams his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.
“Calm the fuck down. We can’t let…” he trails off when he sees me.
what?” I ask, walking over to them, and shoving my
Aren’t you meant to be resting?”
reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not fully recovered, but
so fuck
fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly,
listen, this doesn’t involve you,” Zade
it does. Don’t you think it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking
react, cocking a brow. “Cameras? What are we
understood the message.
get a step ahead instead of being spied on all the damn
snarls
him.
calm the fuck down.” He warns him and I’m doing my fucking all
when I hear it, the extremely silent footsteps of Lawrence. He was freaking silent, even more than me, able to mask his scent and heartbeat efficiently and I don’t think he even realises I can
no small matter.
that they can
stopped,
we going to tell him?
do you think they’ve discovered
you
in that pack. Maybe we do need to tell Gerard
say, just as Lawrence begins moving
no maybe to it.” hist voice comes from to the left,
of course…” Zade says, lowering
he
this, Zaia… destroy
have possibly discovered Ms Agatha. All the cameras have
Agatha?
heart thudding as
Mom?
it must
is spinning as
the pack. See if you can mind link her.” He commands, and he nods before he walks
do you mean mind link her, and is this my mother?” I
Lawrence looks at me.
is and Gaultier’s so he can mind link her as they are family.” He says, almost as if wanting to see how I react to
What?
that a surprise to
yes, about Gaultier, but Mom belongs on our side.
good.”
How could she
fucking storm as
taking my all not
as he walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulder. “Now. How about
have a question. If Mom is captured, then
He smiles.
have shot you, but I don’t think she will kill your mother,”
mean it because I don’t fucking deserve her. The memory of her touch,
don’t
my back, a move that irks me
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tSq3j4uFXvK8317LjL3bXk/qexzJK8qw71foD1W+tTmfWCSleAx+OEJ2lp2L5c4JaTEDvaY6g0djXlmHDL19I9y3qbApOMfH+ZiFEXftQFYXiRaBTucio5ASPTB98jKI5o9R+fDZIXK1Ssd56gyquTG12tvRyeiX1MEQLDaP0+VlIfPf4M+4y3Z46yZ3F34Ro3CqONQXstwsbCkhwrE7uKEk+gQaYkNz5nUgVZbHp4agAtcXKsVelFeXXKrTOCqlBlG25+nmda/l3naTeWYoU7zIXe0gc58A9f4XT5lbLaBgFYYd
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