I Am The Luna

Chapter 119

I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse Chapter 119

An Exchange
SEBASTIAN.

All I see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.

I’ve lost her.

She will never forgive me, and why should she?

I brought this on myself…

The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done.

Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and there’s nothing I can do but accept it.

I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.

All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything happened, they would all suffer the consequences.

I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone. Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any hesitation.

I deserved that.

There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway. When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.

How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.

I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me…

The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time I’ve caused her pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the inside.

She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby. 1

I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.

I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.

My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.

Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?

“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors. Something must have happened…

I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably watching me in this room, anyway.

I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless. Gaultier slams his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.

“Calm the fuck down. We can’t let…” he trails off when he sees me.

walking over to them, and shoving

need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to be resting?”

reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not fully recovered, but I am getting

fuck

the fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly, about to turn away when Zade grabs

this doesn’t involve you,” Zade

all fucking times they figured out the

don’t react, cocking a brow. “Cameras?

they understood

help them get a step ahead instead of being spied on

pack!” Gaultier snarls about to shove me when

him.

the fuck down.” He warns him and I’m doing my fucking all to stop myself from bashing his

to mask his scent and heartbeat efficiently and I don’t think he even realises I can sense him and that

of you notified Gerard of this? It’s no small matter. If something has happened with the

they

stopped, he’s

him?

think they’ve

you mean?”

pack. Maybe we do need to tell Gerard and Father right now,”

we do,” I say, just

from to the left, making both men tense

course…” Zade says, lowering

he

got this,

cameras have been pulled.”

Agatha?

look up sharply, my heart

Mom?

it must be

spinning as

of the pack. See if you can mind link her.” He commands, and he nods before he

mind link her, and is this my mother?” I ask. The words are like poison

Lawrence looks at me.

Gaultier’s so he can mind link her as they are family.” He says, almost as if wanting to see how I react

What?

that a surprise to you,

but Mom belongs on our side. She’s always been my greatest

good.”

fucking doesn’t. How could she do

is a fucking storm as I try to

let her near the children. She’s been in the safe house. My stomach churns and it’s taking my all not to react. I fucking pray she

cause,” Lawrence says as he walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulder. “Now. How about the two

I say. “I do have a question. If Mom is captured,

He smiles.

woman is. Your woman may have shot you, but I don’t think she will kill your mother,”

I don’t fucking deserve her.

I don’t deserve

as he pats my back, a move

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