Nightmares & Dreams

Lita’s body tensed as she pushed up from the murky deep. Stumbling forward, she could hardly keep her head above water. Her feet found a rocky edge, and she lunged, curling her toes into the nasty slime that was once dirt. The first step was the hardest, her muscles screaming against the motion. Lita groaned, forcing herself forward. She was barefoot and wading through swampy water towards shore. Why wasn’t she on land? The trek felt endless, water impossibly thick and freezing as it soaked her legs. What was that fucking smell? Burning gasoline? She coughed, tossing an arm up as her stomach turned. Lita wretched up the swap water, foul-smelling liquid splattering down her thin shirt. She’d managed to walk until the swell of wet was only to her knees, but the vomit didn’t stop spurting from everywhere. Why was there water in her stomach? She tried to make sense of it as she fought off the feeling of vertigo.

Lita made herself crawl out of the slimy depths and onto the scruffy embankment. Everything in her body stung and ached. There was a heavy, radiating pain in her shoulder blade, two bleeding scrapes down her calves, hot smooth liquid pooling on one side of her face, and sharp, tingling cuts across her back.

She couldn’t stop to inspect her wounds. There was something she needed to do. Something… She crawled and dragged herself up the embankment toward the broken car she glimpsed over the dense brush, ignoring every sharp agony she felt cut through her. Sticks dug into her ribs, stones scraped at her knees. As she crested the edge, Lita could see what remained of the car. The windshield was shattered, front end crumpling like a piece of notebook paper around an enormous tree trunk. The once-beautiful muscle car looked unrecognizable. Blood-smeared down the passenger side of the hood towards the swamp. Hers.

Despite the shaking of her hands, Lita didn’t look closer to see the bits of skin she must have left behind. Her back would have been shredded, but there wasn’t room to think about it. She could just make out the smoke from the highway at the top of the steep hill and that the twisted metal arms that had once been the guardrail were angled out towards the trees. All she could hear was the hiss of the engine and the blood in her ears.

Lita ground herself against the stinging dirt and leaves until she reached the driver’s side. She desperately needed to find her older brother. There was an invisible tether between them and the second that car went barreling into the tree, she felt that tether snap. Her body went through the air and there was nothing to pull her back to him. What did it mean? Lita didn’t want to know. And somehow that pain was worse than all her other injuries combined.

When the oncoming car had spun out of control, crossing the divider and hitting them, she had no time to react. Unbuckled and halfway out of the jean jacket she’d been wearing when they flew through the guardrail and over the edge, Lita flew, too. She only had time to feel herself in the air and hear the glass break before she’d felt the sharp slap of swamp water pushing air out of her lungs. Then she died.

Only she didn’t.

She dragged herself around the driver’s side door, which she pulled desperately until it popped open. Lita looked and nearly passed out when the lifeless eyes of her brother stared back at her. Draped over the steering wheel at a horrific bend that seemed to snap his back in half, James’ blood trickled over the front display. His arm extended toward the passenger side. Reaching to grab her? To push her to safety?

Lita fell backwards onto the sharp twigs and rocks, scooting herself on injured hands away from the car. She couldn’t see him like that.

If he’d twisted that arm in between his chest and the steering wheel… if he hadn’t taken that full impact… maybe… She couldn’t breathe. Or think. Lita’s skin cooled, heat rushing out of her with each wild beat of her heart. That wasn’t her brother. James was indestructible. Strong. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t stare at her like that, like he was gone, taking her heart with him.

Lita snapped awake two hours before her seven o’clock alarm again, drenched in sweat and shaking. Her mind always took a moment to come back around after a nightmare. Each shaky inhale assured her she was okay. But it was a lie. Her bother was dead, nothing was okay.

The gym workouts had been helping exhaust her every day, which kept the nightmares at bay most of the time but didn’t banish them altogether. Sweat seeped through her into the bedsheets as she rolled herself out and onto the floor in the dark chill of early morning. She took a moment to gather her senses and calm her nerves before stripping the sweaty sheets and heading for a shower.

The hot water surrounded her in thick steam as she lathered the soap into the now healed scars across her back and shoulders. Thankfully, the scrapes on her calves had healed, but she was still self-conscious about her back, so she never exposed it. The memories were too painful for her.

body felt. The month spent at the gym was doing wonders. She had developed a slightly better appetite from necessity alone because her body needed the fuel. And all the weightlifting had worked some shape back into her body, especially between her waist

to be an unusual nickname, but she guessed the fight club must’ve operated much like a pack. Either that or Alpha considered himself the pinnacle of

hers, his bare chest pressing

connections? She scolded herself. Ever since she’d heard that husky voice and smelled his rich scent, Lita had tried her best to avoid him at every turn. But in the evenings, it was impossible. And with school starting, she didn’t have a choice about what time she trained. So, she kept her eyes on Alex, or the task at hand, not even bothering to interact with the other gym goers. Honestly, that seemed to be a mutual agreement, as they seemed to avoid whatever part of the gym she was using.

of classes and that would keep her working out right until closing time. She imagined him surprising her in the locker room, pushing her backwards into the showers, the dull heat of his hardness against her. She shook her head sharply and switched the water to cold, hoping

a good night’s sleep. Her body once again favored much of the wardrobe she’d abandoned after she started dating Brian, but she wasn’t sure she should embrace it yet. He still lived down the hall and saw her regularly. She honestly shuddered to

She tugged at the hem a little, happy that it was still loose enough to feel comfortable. Lita

skin and bones. She let her hair free and left her face bare. For once, she looked at her reflection and didn’t cringe or shy away. She felt… almost… good?

gym, her large purse and car keys before heading out to the garage. She’d only made it to the ground floor before

all he could manage, and Lita cocked a brow at him. “You look…” She had always liked him like this, enamored and sweet. It reminded her of their

managed, taking

he asked, his eyes looking her over. “The gym’s

couldn’t help but cringe, shaking the expression away before he noticed. Her physical features were the root of too much of their relationship. Her hair color. Her bra size. Her clothes. The type and application of her makeup. He was noticing her physically again, and

used to campus. I’m gonna walk around and you’ll hate to wait for me.” She paused, gauging his reaction. When it seemed he didn’t care, she continued. “Talk later, Bri? I have

place on campus, but Lita still felt awkward climbing out of something that screamed privilege so loudly, especially for a freshman. But she parked, grabbed the Starbucks iced coffee she’d gotten on the way, and headed for the bookstore. It took her a solid fifteen minutes just to figure out the directions on the campus map. But eventually, she found

of a fresh start for her. She was living one of James’ dreams for her. He’s always wanted her to finish school so she could take care of him in his old ageand he hadn’t cared that they were only a few years apart. She gulped away the stinging in her chest and smiled at the memory. Before she knew it, Lita stood at the

handed over the paper she’d printed from home, studying the woman’s kind face as if it would tell her

are you? I’m in two of these classes

a new environment for

math and English? Aside from being a unicorn, puhleeasee! You’re a genius, embrace it, I definitely would. The rest of us certainly flaunt our strengths.” She nudged up a broad, muscular shoulder blade. Stace looked at Lita for longer

with a stack that seemed impossibly tall and Lita’s face paled,

your face. I’m Alex’s sister, Stacey. But you can call me Stace,” she smiled broadly, waving as if they hadn’t already been talking. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but Alex is such a grump, and he monopolizes all your time. He said you’re not there to train for real, is that true?” Stace asked, “I mean no judgment if it’s true, I just want to

undercurrent of negativity, so she exhaled and said, “Yea, I’ve been wondering when I’d get to meet

to Spanish without blinking. Lita barked out an unexpected laugh as she listened to Stace call Alex every name in the book. Stace rolled her eyes

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