In the Alpha’s Arms

Bras and Brian

Lita followed Stace into the lingerie store like a shy child because she’d never actually bought these things for herself. Suddenly, she wondered if that made her pathetic, or if Stace would judge her. For years, it was her mother who bought her underclothes. And for the last two, it had been Brian who did it, claiming he preferred her to wear what he liked. And he never seemed to get her size right no matter how many times the bras mashed her chest in. It all had seemed so normal. Now, as Lita looked at the store full of women and teenage girls, she wasn’t so sure.

Stace took them to the women’s side of the store, away from all the bright colors and panties with words on them. She held up a mesh dress that stopped at her waist, exposing everything below. She giggled, “Now this is what you wear when you bag your first fighter, okay? Best to make an impression so the word will spread. If there’s one thing a bunny knows, it’s that an excellent reputation is everything.”

A girl like Lita, from the wealthy upper east coast, had no business talking about sleeping with fighters, as in multiple, in a public store. At least, that’s what her mother would say. Her mother, Diane, daughter to a prestigious, if not destitute, family line, was the head of a pharmaceutical company. They made vaccines and mood stabilizers, two things Lita was well versed in. Her mother’s family name mattered in all the inner circles, but supposedly, Lita’s grandfather burned through the legacy money before it could pass on. So, Lita’s mother grew up eating ketchup sandwiches in Chanel clothes. Making a dollar stretch around the block while looking like millions.

That was half the reason Diane Clawe never let Lita stray too far from Brian. A name could get a girl anywhere, her mother would say, and money will keep her there. That’s how her mother ended up with her father, Rafi, short for Raphael. Raphael Dillard wasn’t a household name, an adopted kid from the inner city, but he was well off now with his job. He had an excellent position in the inner circle of the city and made boatloads of cash, ensuring the wealthy avoided tax fraud. As a high-powered lawyer with his own firm, Rafi could command a courtroom and a ballroom with Lita’s mother dutifully draped over his arm.

Both moved freely in the upper echelon of society, which left little time for raising Lita or her brother, who were brought up by a slew of nannies and private schools instead. What they lacked in love and parental instincts, Diane and Rafi made up for in etiquette and couth. And money. If there was anything her mother was good at, it was throwing money at a problem to make it disappear. How many times had her mother paid for special healing treatments when she’d turned up with bruises? How many times had her mother thrown money at emergency room doctors to keep things quiet? Or signed her name to another donation at Lita’s private school her senior year when the bruises were more difficult to hide?

Was that the example Lita wanted to follow? Or did she want to look at life from a different view? There was no telling what else she might find in a different walk of life. One in which women were empowered enough to choose their own sexual partners for no reason other than that they enjoyed it. There might have been a stigma attached to what they did, but if everyone was a consenting adult, what did it matter what they did behind closed doors?

“Do they — uh, the fighters—do they pay you guys or something?” Lita asked, as clueless as a child in the world of adults. She rushed to clarify herself before Stacey could get upset. “It’s just you make it sound like a job. References and reputations. Word of mouth and prospects. I just want to make sure I understand everything.” Lita felt heat creeping up her neck as Stace stared. And stared some more. Before she burst out in a fit of laughter that made Lita’s entire face hot.

“Hell no, babe!” Stace guffawed, her icy blonde hair spilling over her shoulders. “We ‘box boots’ because we want to. Because it’s fun and it feels damn good to let loose. But there are no transactions involved. Jesus Christ.” She shook her head again, frowning.

Lita winced, curling into herself with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, it takes a lot to offend me. You’re good. It’s just how we talk about the circuit, ya know? I’m just giving you insider knowledge. I didn’t mean to scare you into thinking this is anything more than a good time. If you don’t want to sleep with anyone, you’re still cool with me. Jaz might give you some shit, but she’ll be chill about it too. Nobody’s going to throw you out of the gym for being you. Whoever you want to be. A bunny or a fighter or just a chick that likes to work out. We’re all strays in our own way. My advice is to check the lifestyle out and if it’s not for you, no harm, no foul.”

Stace shrugged like it was all so simple and turned back to the rack of dresses. Lita marveled at the freedom Stace seemed to possess. She wasn’t pushed into a box of any kind and if she was capable of shame, she certainly didn’t have any about her body or the topic of her hobby. Lita watched Stace hold up several bras and panties up to herself in the showroom mirror.

“Shit, sorry, we’re not here for me,” she apologized, “The sportswear section is over here. What’s your bra size?”

“I’m wearing a 32c, I think… but I don’t think it’s the right size. It’s pretty tight. Especially after the last month of working out,” Lita admitted quietly. Anger was easy, embarrassment was hard. And somehow, she’d been more embarrassed in the last twenty minutes with Stace than she had in months.

probably gonna need one of each kind at least and matching yoga bottoms. Some leggings wouldn’t hurt either. How are you on funds? I could loan you some if you need it. I know this stuff can be a little expensive…”

good,” Lita replied, watching Stace motion

what her life would have been like if she’d been raised with Stacey as

hardly had a conversation about it before he took his trust fund and ran. He’d run all the way across the country,

hurt, but the vibe at Alpha’s was comfortable. She felt secure and this time she was spending with

felt each day. Her parents had expectations of her, just like they’d had of James. He’d ignored their wishes, perusing his own passion even if it meant

just get herself together. Stop making him mad. Dress appropriately. Hold her tongue. Lita was drowning under the weight of it, and she didn’t even have her

arms for the fitting, but the lady frowned as she wrapped the tape over her bust. “What size are you

“32C.”

I think the

of the bra without taking off her shirt. She didn’t want to risk anything

the employee, whose name tag

Lita asked, staring down at herself. Was there something wrong with her chest? Did she have funny nipples

bought you this bra?” Amy asked, as she

I think it was my boyfriend… well ex-boyfriend,” Lita admitted, “He bought a lot in this size.

it’s smashing your boobs down to nothing. You don’t feel the pressure? I mean, Jesus, from here it’s at least three sizes too small,” she said, “If it weren’t for the material of this sweater, you’d look like

t-shirt were handed to her and as soon as the other two left her alone, Lita stripped in a flash. She took a deep breath, adjusting to the way the bra let her ribs expand without digging.

Lita frowned.

it look?” Amy yelled over the

opening the

“Wow!”

look with Amy before she left the fitting

of the new bra and Stace

changed her clothes at home and slipped out to the parking garage without seeing Brian,