Jackal Among Snakes

“Argrave,” Anneliese called out, short of breath.

Argrave turned his head from where he sat beside the great willow tree hanging off the ledge. This was where the cave housing the Alchemist’s home ended, leaving only a sheer cliff at a high point in a mountain. With the unending plain of clouds ahead, it appeared like the end of the earth stretched before him. The suns were setting, hueing the white fluffy clouds with reds and oranges.

Anneliese took some time to catch her breath, and then took slow steps towards him. Argrave turned his head back to the view before him, watching silently. She came to stand beside him.

“I feel blindsided,” he said, gaze wandering the cloud steppes. “Always had a theory about suicide. I thought there were some types of people that just wouldn’t. No matter how rough, they’d never do something like that.” He exhaled through his nose lightly—the smallest laugh. “I thought Garm was one of those types.” He brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “Thought I was, too. That’s something to note.” He paused. “Don’t worry. I’m not suggesting anything.”

Anneliese shifted on her feet. “It was not… suicide, exactly,” she argued as she sat down beside Argrave, staring out.

“I know a fair bit about souls. Read a lot of lore about them. Garm used [Voice of the Corrupt]. The damage to his soul would be significant. What’s more, Durran’s got an iron will.” Argrave shook his head. “It was hopeless from the beginning. Garm must’ve known that.”

“But Garm was arrogant,” she pointed out, staring beyond. “Maybe he genuinely thought he could win.”

He shook his head deliberately and slowly. “I can’t believe that. Garm might have had more experience… but in a fight between souls, that really matters none. You can do one such fight in ‘Heroes of Berendar.’ It’s a fancy fight… but given what I know of the lore, if one soul is damaged, it’s like pitting a bear against a dragon. The bear might be dangerous, but…”

She sighed. “Of all people… Garm.” She looked at him. “We knew him less than a month. And though it is horrible to say… I do hope Garm lives. But even still…”

“Even still?” Argrave pressed.

“He was deeply unhappy. Miserable. Maybe… maybe he jumped at the first chance he saw, no matter how poor his odds were,” she mused. “Anything to avoid living as he was for a while longer.”

Argrave said nothing, considering his own position on the matter. He knew Durran better than her, even if it was in a different medium. But, in this reality, he’d known Garm for longer. The man had been obstinate, stubborn, but there was a strange charm to his constant bitterness. He was like Rowe, in a way. Ultimately…

Argrave sighed. “I just want this day to end.”

Anneliese stared at Argrave, watching him. A silence settled in between them for a long, long while.

“Argrave. Please, break this cycle.”

He turned his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Holding your thoughts inside. Losing yourself in other things until you forget about it. Every time you get like this… it is worse than the last. Then your nightmares get worse, and you keep burdening yourself more and more and more.” Anneliese shook her head, unruly white hair swaying.

His gray eyes stared her down, steady as stone. After a time, he turned back to the view. The suns were setting lower, adding shades of purple and pink atop the clouds.

“Ignoring these things is a good skill to have, for a guy in my position,” he shrugged, seemingly nonchalant. “I can’t let thoughts, emotions, distract from the ultimate goal.”

“Again, you hesitate to speak,” she shook her head frustratedly.

“That stuff isn’t easy for me,” he ground his feet against the ground. “Not to mention my current in-agony state.”

“Agony makes people more emotional, typically, yet even now you choke yourself.” She sidled closer. “Please,” she stared at him intently.

“’Please,’ what?” Argrave looked to her.

“Stop choking yourself.”

“And do what, spill my guts?” Argrave threw his hands up. “What’s the point? I’m positive you know what I’m feeling.”

“But not why,” she insisted. “That is the crux of things. There is only so much I can deduce from what I notice. There is so much you keep hidden, private.” She pointed at him. “You refuse to disclose even the simplest things—your name!”

“Argrave,” he rebuked.

“You know what I mean—acting ignorant does not become you,” Anneliese gave him a stern-eyed glare. “The name of who you were before,” she elaborated.

“Why is that important?” he held out his hands. “I’m here, now. That life is gone. That guy is dead.”

“Is he?” she questioned loudly. “I talk to him right now. I grow frustrated at his obstinance. I worry for his well-being when he runs out, barefoot, into a jungle when he was sweating blood and having seizures not yesterday!”

Argrave stared at her, eyes wide when the ever-calm Anneliese yelled. After a time, he found the situation rather funny. He turned his head and laughed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to run out. I got… a little overwhelmed when I heard the news.”

“Yet you will not say why,” she noted, annoyed.

“Why is that important?!”

“In case you have not noticed, I am always fascinated by ‘why,’” she pointed out, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him.

Argrave rocked with her pushes, then chuckled, much of the tension dispelled.

“I feel pretty good, actually. The aching… it’s lessening. And that run—by god, you wouldn’t even recognize me.” He held up his hand. “My nails are even growing back. I think things are getting better, even if I’m not out of the water.”

then frowned. “You are too good at controlling the conversation. I will not drop

laughed again.

this because I am worried,” she said levelly. “You act exactly like

his head quickly, almost

he do? He lied and tricked us all. It may have been for a good purpose, but at the end of the day, he is lost to us.” She pointed at Argrave. “Just because it is in a different manner does not change

frowned. “I can’t recall the last time I tricked

that Garm did was withhold. Information.” She poked his arm as she said those last two words. “Does

he lied, adjusting

stared at him patiently, waiting for him to

do… understand your point. I’m

once said I was smarter than you, and you would never

frowned but couldn’t hold the expression for long before he broke off into a chuckle. “People always

you trust

“That isn’t what this is about. Never

do distrust

today, Galamon, Durran, and Garm

keep me

at her insistently. “Of everyone… hell, I said it earlier this month. I don’t want you to think less of me. I said it, plainly. The idea makes me very uncomfortable. The mundane nonsense that worms its way into my head—if I tell you that…

I would treat you the same

his hand out. But his visceral reaction faded, and he truly processed what she said. His face turned pensive, and his hand

she

field of clouds had been dyed beautiful colors by the setting sun. It was like a painting, so beautiful

bastard of House Vasquer, powerful mage blessed by Erlebnis, vanguard against Gerechtigkeit… and behind that, there’s just some fucking guy.” He shook his head. “Some strange goblin creature who

“Argrave…”

with someone else’s body,” he turned his head to her. “That gnaws at me, every day. I’m an imposter. A phony. I’m wearing someone else’s shoes, and I’m walking about like my feet are massive. My feet are small—I’m just wearing big shoes, Anneliese. My hair, my eyes, my voice… even my skin’s an

crawled forward a little and grabbed

him in the eyes. “When you were born,

“What?” he questioned, confused.

you look? Did you choose your parents? Did you choose your social status or financial status, your physique, your intelligence, your

his eyes, refocusing. “Well, no, but I could have

light shake. “You chose

was born, I grew, I had parents, I had a life—now all of that is gone, and I’m in

have no

beat, then continued,

have done… you have chosen to do.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “Responsibilities are things fabricated by the mind, by society. You have no responsibility to do anything about anything. This was

stared at her amber eyes, throat tight

man who chose to throw himself headlong into unimaginable danger with not an ounce of hesitation. Your first response to your situation was to endeavor to stop an invasion,” she said plainly. “Despite

holding his shoulders, “You braved a cavern full of horrifying bugs. You navigated that city of Jast like it was your own property and negotiated a pivotal alliance between nobles by the end of it all. You went into the Low Way, getting caught between vampires, a knightly

“Well… each had varying degrees of

the

brow, then conceded

or touching people, but you overcame that. Your response to discomfort or nervousness is to make jokes. I know that you enjoy explaining things, and I know that you enjoy learning magic. I know that you care deeply for the people around you—indeed, all people. You

His growing smile paused.

your willpower. You are admirably tenacious. The tenacity you have displayed these past days… it is unfathomable.” She shook his shoulders. “This is you. All of it. You are the tall, confident,

her face. His fingers brushed her cheek, and she took a deep breath of surprise. She didn’t pull away, though, and he stared into her beautiful amber eyes. He leaned in,

suns continued the set, painting a serene scene of purples, oranges, pinks, and blues across the

rested his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes.

do that for a long while,” he admitted

into his eyes. It felt like the two of them had entered their own private little world, and everything around had ceased to be. Sounds, sights, smells, pain, all gone. There was

know,” she said

his head to her shoulder, laughing heartily. Anneliese soon joined him, both falling into a disorganized heap of giggles. All the tension, sadness, anger, dispelled at once, and they both held each other. By the end of things, they

a better time for that,” Argrave

not attracted to

Argrave sat up quickly, supporting himself with his elbow and staring down at her.

head. “Romantic feelings. But then

disgusted, never. Just… I didn’t think it would be

pressed, raising her hand to his

was inadequate,” he looked off to the

I give you yet

You’re drop-dead gorgeous, you’re probably the most talented spellcaster in the world, you’re way smarter than I am… I don’t think anyone could

pinched his cheek. “You

kiss?” he

would be an unfair

“You’re right. Kiss from you—that’s worth

“I get both a kiss and a

laid back on the ground, joining her in laughter. “My lord. Can’t believe you think you’re