Chapter Two Hundred Thirty-Three

Sephie

“I just never thought the darkness is what would connect us,” I said, mostly to myself. I had walked back to sit next to Ivan, so he heard me. My mind was racing trying to understand what we’d just discovered. I knew we were all connected in some way, but I didn’t expect it to be the same, somewhat otherworldly experience.

“Doesn’t that happen to everyone?” Misha asked. He was clearly still surprised at finding out we’d all been in the same “place” within our heads when seriously injured. For some reason, we all looked at Stephen. If anyone had the answer to that question, it had to be him.

He looked surprised at everyone looking at him. “I have a lot of answers to a lot of questions, but that question is not one of the ones I have an answer to. I’ve never heard of this many people essentially sharing an experience. In all my 900 years,” he said. I had no idea how he managed to keep a straight face all the time, but I found myself admiring him for it. It was impressive.

We were all quiet for a few minutes, everyone’s mind racing, trying to comprehend our conversation. Andrei leaned onto his elbows on the counter. He was staring at his hands. “We’re all evil, aren’t we?” he asked.

I think he meant it as a joke, but I could also hear the legitimate worry in his voice. “Bubbá…” I said.

-Ivan interrupted me before I could say any more. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I enjoy it when I’m in the darkness

It’s difficult to leave it sometimes. I’m arguably the most evil out of all of us, so you might be on to something there, Andrei.”

I hooked my arm through his and leaned my head against his shoulder. “I don’t think any of us are evil. And I think you enjoy the darkness because you know nothing can hurt you there. You’ve found peace in your darkness, both literally and figuratively. You and Adrik both. You’re both fine with the fact that you might be a little evil. You understand that people can be both. Most people are both. The world is both. The point of life is to find the balance between the two.” Ivan squeezed my arm that was still hooked through his. “Mine was necessary to remind me of something important,” I said. I was finally starting to understand why things had happened the way they had. “You all know how much I ha te being cold. My darkness is cold. Like bone-chilling cold. At first, I couldn’t see anything at all, not even my own body. I started to hear Adrik’s voice and I could faintly see the outline of my body, but nothing beyond it. That’s also when I started to hear my uncle’s voice. Every time I would hear his voice, it would get darker. When I would hear Adrik, the opposite. It would get lighter. Eventually, it started to get warmer too. You all heard my fight with my uncle. Once I finally kicked him out of my head, I could see. I needed that reminder that my light comes from me. Adrik was the spark to make me remember.” I glanced over at Adrik. I’d never explained what had happened when I was stuck in the nightmare loop to him before now. I don’t think he realized how much of an effect he had on me when I was trapped in my own mind.

“That’s similar to how it happened for me when I was in the hospital. Every time I’m in the hospital, I see the same doctor’s face that used to delight in torturing me when I was a kid. I’m trying to ki ll him when I fight whoever is in front of me. It doesn’t matter who the person is, I can’t see them. I can only see the doctor,” Ivan said.

couldn’t see anybody else. I could see it clearly on his face

only thing we can figure out is their shared hatred of doctors. Like Sephie said, their demons recognize each other, if you will,” Adrik said. I glanced at him, thankful for stepping in so we didn’t need to elaborate. I glanced around to see if the rest of the guys were looking at us. When I was satisfied they weren’t, I signed a “thank you” to

how did you get out of your darkness after your accident?”

being in it and only able to see my body, but I don’t have memories of any sounds. I just woke up in the hospital a few days later. It took me a little bit to remember what had

“I have a memory of

woke up out of yours, too?” I asked.

me,”

Stephen

lik had something to do with the difference between our experiences and the other guys’ experiences, but

Adrik peek at me now and then while he was working. He loved it when his schedule was clear and I would come to his office while he worked, just so he could be near me. I had to admit to loving it as well. I always worried

see him which meant he was unsure of what was about to come out of Andy’s mo uth. I understood his look and quietly got up from couch, taking my usual

the office

hoping to discuss something with you, sir. I’m

to rise. He hated surprises. Andy glanced at Adrik, then to me. He took a deep breath and continued, “I overheard Mike on the phone a few times. Once the night they got me out, once after I

I let it ring, then ended the call. They were all in the office within seconds. Andy went pale when they all walked in. “Don’t worry, Andy. I just want them to hear this as well. Tell the what you

the code?”

been obsessed with it ever since. He always wanted to be the stereotypical gangster you see in movies. He has all

been punched in the stomach. I stumbled backward toward the cabinet to catch myself. I was immediately back in the ring with Mike, right before I

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