Chapter Seventy-Two
Sephie
I was back in the ballroom, watching Adrik go down, over and over. Each time, I was frozen in place, like I couldn’t move until I was grabbed from behind. Each time the guy grabbed me, he said something that I couldn’t hear or
understand.
I heard voices. Familiar voices.
“Princess…”
“Gazelle…”
“Spider monkey…..”
“Sestrichka…”
“Solnishko…”
A different voice would pull me briefly out of the ballroom each time, only to return to have to watch the scene again and be frozen in place again. It felt like I was drowning, watching him go down, not being able to do anything about it. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t even save myself.
I felt arms around me, shifting me, holding me. Warmth that made my body relax. Fingers in my hair. Back in the ballroom, watching him go down again. This time, I found myself crying. I couldn’t watch anymore. I sh ut my eyes. I can’t watch anymore. I can’t take it. I would rather have the darkness than be forced to watch this over again.
I hear a voice, calling my name. Everything is darkness. I can only see my body, nothing else. It’s like I’m swimming in the nothing. The voice is still there. Calling me. I try to go toward it. It gets louder. I can hear it clearer.

“Sephie, please come back to me. I can’t possibly live without you. Please just follow the sound of my voice. Come back to me. I love you.”
I know that voice. I want to go to that voice. I try to go toward that voice, only to hear a new voice. “He’s lying. He doesn’t love you. No one loves you. No one will ever love you.” I know this voice too. I know those words. Grant would say those words over and over to me as he was beating me. Like he was beating those words into me.
No, no, no. It can’t be him. I got away from him. I locked that voice away tight.
“You didn’t lock it up tight enough, stu pid girl. I’m still here.”
Again, the voice calling me. “Sephie, please come back to me. Follow the sound of my voice. I love you.”
The other voice, laughing. “He’s so pat hetic. Begging you to come back to him, like you’re worth a da mn. Sickening.”
I feel the familiar pull toward the voice calling me. I want to go toward it, but every time I move toward it, the other voice comes out.
“Solnishko, you have to wake up, my love. You have to come back to me, malishka.”
I move toward it again. The other voice, yelling now, “YOU THINK HE LOVES YOU? YOU’RE MORE STU PID THAN I THOUGHT. NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE YOU, STU PID GIRL.”
No, no, no.” It can’t be right. He can’t be right. It’s not right.
1 bring my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly.
“YOU THINK THAT’S GOING TO PROTECT YOU?! YOU CAN’T GET AWAY FROM ME, GIRL.”
“Solnishko, I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. You have my heart. You will always have my heart. You’re the only woman who knows my name.”
Suddenly, I’m in a bathroom, listening to women talk. One of them says, “you know he never even told her his real name? No one knows his real name. It’s like he doesn’t exist.”
“LISTEN TO HER. HE DOESN’T EXIST.”
“Sephie, you know my name. I love hearing my name on your tongue. I can’t get enough of you saying my name. I never hesitated to tell you my name that night in the parking lot. You’re the only woman that knows my name.”
Adrik. Adrik is calling me! I have to go to him. Wherever he is, that’s where I need to be.
“YOU CAN’T GET AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, ST UPID GIRL.”
SH UT UP! You’re not real!
“OH, I’M VERY REAL. I’M NEVER GOING AWAY AGAIN NOW THAT I’M OUT.”
Stop it! You’re not real. I got away from you. You can’t hurt me anymore.
“Sephie, I love you.”
I have to go to him. I need him. I love him.
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