Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

UNWELL

JESS

"Hey, babe. Are you ready? Everything packed?" I asked Luke as I dragged his suitcase out of the bedroom. He was so handsome even though he only wore a pair of slacks and a navy T-

shirt. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He walked to the front door and turned around. Suddenly, his face changed, and there was blood. Blood on his shirt, his pants. I looked up, and he was choking. I wanted to run to him, to help him, but I couldn't move. Why couldn't I m "Luke."

"Luke!"

I sat up, gasping for air, just in time to make it to the bathroom.

The nausea had been creeping up

for weeks, relentless and unforgiving, even now that we were back home. I'd thought that leaving Jakarta's oppressive heat and humidity behind might help, but it hadn't. The sickness remained a constant, unsettling reminder of everything that had changed, everything that wrong.

the world tilting as I barely made it to the bathroom. Kneeling by the toilet, I gripped the

20 Mouser

my eyes, breathing through the

steady and comforting, the warmth of his hand rubbing gentle circles on my back. I could

fall into that fantasy, sinking into it, wanting so desperately to believe that he was here,

"You are okay, babe," he whispered, and I believed him. Even though I still wanted to vomit my guts out, I heard him. Maybe I was dehydrated and hallucinating. If so, it would be worth it. "We are going to be so happy," I heard Luke say. All of us." I pulled my head

were streaming down my face now, and I wiped them away. What a foolish dream.

matter how many times I told myself it was just my imagination, that

had said, "Us.". If he meant just us two, he would have phrased it differently. But he didn't he told us

I would in Indonesia when I

a few seconds without having Luke's face haunt my every waking moment. Something inside of me refuses to believe this is

else from that daydream stuck with me, and I

tried to distract myself with the TV in the living. room, Laura came bursting through the door, clutching a white paper bag. She didn't bother to knock or say hello.