POOL DAY

JESS

The soft hum of cicadas filled the air as the sun dipped lower, painting the pool water with streaks of gold and orange. I leaned back in my lounge chair, the cool metal pressing against my legs, and took a sip of my virgin margarita. The tart lime and sweet orange flavors we "It's really unfair that you get to have alcohol when I'm the one who needs it," I groaned, swirling the ice cubes in my glass.

Laura tipped her head back and laughed, the sound light and genuine, cutting through the thick weight that seemed to cling to us these days. "Oh, I need it too," she said, grinning as she took another sip. "I'm the one that's going to be awake with you at 2 a.m., so I need to the best aunt in the entire world and also filling the shoes of Josh's is a really hard task, and the pressure is something you just won't understand. I'd rather give birth right now," Laura teased, but there was sadness. there.

But I looked past the part about Josh and focused on the rest, which made me laugh. It felt so foreign that it caught me off guard. The sound spilled out of me, and for a brief moment, I let myself bask in it. We leaned back in our chairs, staring up at the streaks of pink and p POOL DAY

Almost.

"I feel guilty, you know," I said quietly, the laughter fading into the evening breeze. I clutched my glass tighter, watching the condensation slide down its side. "Too guilty to allow myself to be happy in this moment. What's wrong with me?"

Laura turned her head, her gaze soft as she studied me. "I feel the same way," she admitted, her voice tinged with the same sadness that was nestled deep in my chest. She reached out and squeezed my hand, her fingers warm against mine. "But at one point, Jess, I prom 1 turned to look at her, my heart tightening at the sincerity in her

voice.

was willing it into existence. "Because they would want us

words hung in the air between us, heavy but

soothing circles. against the back

water rippled gently, catching the fading light, and for a moment, I let myself picture it. The laughter of a little girl, her tiny hands splashing in the water, her hair glinting gold in the sunlight. It felt

there?" I asked, my

a whisper.

Laura said firmly. "We'll carry them with us, Jess. Always. But they wouldn't want us to carry

me

like a blanket. It wasn't enough to erase the guilt or the ache in my chest, but it

onto.

buzzed again from inside the house, its familiar ringtone cutting through the peaceful evening air. I didn't even

her go to voicemail," I muttered, tipping my head back

chuckled softly beside me, her fingers toying with the rim of her glass. "You'd think she'd take a

respond, letting the warmth of the setting sun wash over me. It was one of the few things that didn't feel complicated- just the

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