Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

SURVIVORS

JESS

The room was too warm, the air heavy despite the gentle hum of the overhead fan. I sat with my hands folded tightly in my lap, the fabric of my dress sticking to my skin as I shifted

uncomfortably in the plastic chair. Laura was beside me, her fingers drumming against the armrest of her chair-

a habit she'd picked up over the last few weeks. Across the room, scattered in a loose circle, sat a few other women, each with the same mix of anxiety and exhaustion carved into their faces. The wives. The girlfriends. The ones left behind.

No one spoke, and the tension crackled like static in the air. Even Laura, usually the first to fill silences with her sarcastic humor, remained unusually quiet.

The Indonesian police had been brutal, to say the least-disorganized, dismissive, and maddeningly slow to respond. It had taken weeks for the U.S. embassy to finally get involved, weeks of speculation, rumors, and tabloids playing guessing games with our lives. And now, after all that, here we were.

Waiting.

The representative sent by the embassy stood at the front of the room, a man in his fifties with graying hair and a suit that looked out of place against the backdrop of the humid, coastal

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air outside. He held a folder in his hand, its edges frayed like it had been passed around too many times.

cleared his throat, a dry, raspy sound that drew everyone's

shrink as we all leaned forward, the tension

loved ones back. We all want closure. The Indonesian police have faced signif I bit down on the inside of my cheek, resisting the urge to

her knee bumping against mine. I glanced at her, catching the faint shake of

Not yet.

man droned on, his words a dull hum in the background as my mind raced. There had been leaks over the last few days-whispers of survivors, names dropped in passing, fragments of hope that felt more like traps. None of those names had

dread that tightened in my chest every time the phone rang or the news played. Hope felt like a dangerous thing, too fragile to

you here today," the man continued,

agreed to

Survivors.

hung in the

Laura's hand brush against mine, her fingers curling around mine in a tight grip. I didn't look at her, couldn't. My eyes stayed fixed on the man at the

the pages inside with infuriating slowness. Every second felt like an eternity, the pounding of my heartbeat drowning out every other sound. "Before I begin," he said, looking up briefly, "I want to remind you all that this is a preliminary list. There may still be updates as we continue to receive information." Laura let

man began to

woman's voice across the room letting out a

dug into my hand as we waited, each name like a hammer to the

in the distance, I could swear I heard him say Joshua

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