Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

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JESS

THE NOW....

The machines filled the room with their unrelenting hum, the rhythmic beeping of Laura's heart monitor a painful reminder of where we were. She looked so small and fragile in the hospital bed, her body nearly swallowed by the tangle of wires and tubes that kept her alive.

I adjusted the tiny bundle in my arms, rocking gently as I held Laura and Josh's newborn daughter. She squirmed a little, letting out a soft whimper, but soon settled again as I guided the bottle to her lips.

Josh sat beside Laura's bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his head hung low. He hadn't spoken much since we got here. Luke stood behind him, one hand firmly planted on Josh's shoulder as if he were holding him together with sheer willpower.

The door opened, and I glanced up as the surgeon walked in. His face was unreadable as he looked over the machines, checking the monitors before speaking.

"The latest EEG shows no changes," he said, his tone clinical but calm.

Josh's head snapped up, his body tense, and I felt the weight of the moment press down on all of us.

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"In this case," the surgeon continued, "that's actually a good sign. We're keeping her in the coma to allow the swelling to subside. It's the safest approach right now." Josh gave a slight, hollow nod, his shoulders sinking slightly. Luke squeezed his shoulder, murmuring something too low for me to hear.

I focused on the baby, keeping my movements smooth and steady as I rocked her. She was so tiny, so perfect. It broke my heart that Laura couldn't be here to hold her.

Josh glanced at me suddenly, his voice raw. "She... she probably wanted to breastfeed, right?" His words were shaky, like he wasn't sure if he should say them out loud. "She always talked about it."

smile onto my face, keeping my voice light. "Actually," I said, glancing at the baby in my arms, "she was having second thoughts. The whole pumping thing kind of freaked her out. She was considering bottles from the start." It was a lie, but it didn't matter. Josh needed to hear that, needed to feel like this

his gaze drifting back to

her breathing for her, the machines monitoring every function of her body. She looked like a shadow of herself, so far removed from the fiery, stubborn Laura I

cry, and I adjusted her in my arms, shushing softly. I felt Luke's eyes on me, his quiet

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he gripped his chair's edge, his

my voice more for myself than anyone. else. "Laura's strong. She's going to get through

if

voice steady and low. "You've got to believe that, man. For her.

his knees. I thought he might argue momentarily,

pressed a soft kiss to the baby's forehead, whispering a

got her. Until you're ready,

pierce the air. "If I wasn't such an idiot back then... if I'd just told her how I felt sooner, I could've had her from the start. We could've had this life-together- sooner. And now she's lying there, and I don't even know

twist as I looked at him, this usually unshakable guy crumbling under the weight of his

time, man," he said, his voice steady. "There's gonna be time. Going back in your head over

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his face to look at Luke. The raw pain in

with understanding. "I've been there, man. I've been where you are." He paused, glancing over at me, his expression softening as he caught my eye. Of course, he knew. He'd lived

his head, his voice quieter now. "What if she doesn't get that time? What if I don't get to tell her