Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

GUILT LAURA

I closed the door to Josh's room as quietly as I could, my chest heaving like I'd just run a marathon. My legs felt shaky, my hands trembling as I pressed them against the cool wood for support. The air in the hallway was stifling, thick with everything. I'd just done. What the hell was wrong with me?

I was supposed to be here for Jess. Jess. My best friend. And instead, I'd—

My stomach churned violently, and I bit down on my lip hard enough to taste blood. I needed to move. I needed to do something, anything, to wash away the guilt clawing its way up my throat.

I stumbled down the hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. The sound of the lock clicking into place gave me a fleeting sense of security, but it was quickly replaced by the suffocating weight of my actions.

I turned the shower on full blast, not waiting for the water to warm up. The icy spray hit my skin, and I gasped, but I didn't step away. Instead, I grabbed the loofah and soap and scrubbed. Hard.

It wasn't enough.

No matter how much I washed, no matter how red my skin

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09:15

GUILT

288 Noucher's

rid myself of the shame. I'd slept with Josh.

for

he'd looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. For a moment, I'd let myself believe it. But I couldn't

out, wrapping a towel around myself as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red-rimmed, my cheeks flushed from the heat of the water and the tears I'd refused to let

but I didn't bother turning on the lights. Instead, I moved on autopilot, grabbing the coffee pot and

I have done

me into her home, into her life, and

Josh had said or how he'd made me feel. It

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09.15

wouldn't

finished brewing, and poured two cups, adding cream and sugar to one just the way Jess liked it. I was going to tell her. She deserved to know

room, sat down, waiting for her. My heart was pounding, my

froze. She looked tired, her hair a mess, her eyes rimmed with exhaustion. She stopped when she saw me sitting there, and for a moment, I thought

wrapping her hands around the cup but

you something," I began, my voice

Jess cut me off. "Me first," she

swallowed hard,

took a deep breath, her hands tightening around the mug. "Bryan... he...

words hit me like a freight train,

whispered,

trembling. "We went

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