Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

NERVES

JOSH PRESENT

I left practice feeling on edge, my nerves stretched thin. I'd been trying to focus all day-running plays, hitting drills, anything to keep my mind occupied-but it wasn't enough. The urge to check in on Asha had been clawing at me from the moment I left her at daycare that morning.

Jess had told me I needed to trust people more. That I couldn't hover over Asha forever, but that advice was easier said than done. She wasn't the one who had to wake up in the middle of the night to a quiet house that used to be full of life.

Still, I forced myself to let go, just a little. I didn't text the nanny. I didn't call the daycare. But Miss Worth-well, she seemed to know the nerves of a new parent when she saw one. She'd sent me updates every couple of hours without me asking, a surprising kindness I hadn't expected.

At first, when I saw the notifications pop up, I thought they might've been from a reporter or some random stranger trying to get a reaction. But when I opened them, they were just short updates, simple and reassuring.

"Asha had her snack and loved the banana slices!"

"She's been playing with the blocks her favorite color seems to be blue!"

And finally, a picture.

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when I saw it. Asha was sitting on a play mat, her little hands gripping a stuffed bear as she smiled up at the camera. Her cheeks were round and pink,

suffocating. I swallowed

buzzed again-an email this time. Dr. Harrington's name popped up in the

I didn't open it.

way I had with the last few monthly updates. They'd call if it was serious. I'd made that clear to them. The emails were always the same anyway: no significant changes, a reminder to stay hopeful, and a

But they don't.

Not for us.

my gym bag over my shoulder, and headed out

mostly empty by the time I pulled up, the sun dipping low in the sky. I was paying extra for Asha to stay a little later, giving

on the floor, Asha cradled in

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sang quietly. The room was calm, the walls painted in soft blues and whites, with the rainbow mural casting a gentle glow in

at the door, not wanting to

Then I knocked softly.

looked up, startled. "Oh

warm, her tone apologetic, but her smile never wavered. She looked back down at Asha, brushing a hand lightly over her curls. "She just passed

holding her as if

over to me.

tiny body warm and relaxed against my chest.

I said, my voice low. I adjusted Asha, cradling her against me as I looked down at the

her nose again. "Of course," she said, her gaze shifting back to Asha. "She's a joy to have here. Really. You don't need to