Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

NERVES

JOSH PRESENT

I left practice feeling on edge, my nerves stretched thin. I'd been trying to focus all day-running plays, hitting drills, anything to keep my mind occupied-but it wasn't enough. The urge to check in on Asha had been clawing at me from the moment I left her at daycare that morning.

Jess had told me I needed to trust people more. That I couldn't hover over Asha forever, but that advice was easier said than done. She wasn't the one who had to wake up in the middle of the night to a quiet house that used to be full of life.

Still, I forced myself to let go, just a little. I didn't text the nanny. I didn't call the daycare. But Miss Worth-well, she seemed to know the nerves of a new parent when she saw one. She'd sent me updates every couple of hours without me asking, a surprising kindness I hadn't expected.

At first, when I saw the notifications pop up, I thought they might've been from a reporter or some random stranger trying to get a reaction. But when I opened them, they were just short updates, simple and reassuring.

"Asha had her snack and loved the banana slices!"

"She's been playing with the blocks her favorite color seems to be blue!"

And finally, a picture.

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play mat, her little hands gripping a stuffed bear as she

and suffocating. I swallowed it down and forced myself

this time. Dr. Harrington's name popped

I didn't open it.

hesitation, I swiped it into the archive folder, the same way I had with the last few monthly updates. They'd call if it was serious. I'd made that clear to them. The emails were always the same anyway: no significant changes, a reminder to stay hopeful, and a final line

But they don't.

Not for us.

phone into my pocket, slung my gym bag over my shoulder, and headed out to my

paying extra for Asha to stay a little later, giving me time to get through practice.

cross-legged on the floor, Asha

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painted in soft blues and whites, with the rainbow mural

at the door, not wanting

Then I knocked softly.

up, startled. "Oh gosh, Mr.

her smile never wavered. She looked back down at Asha, brushing a hand lightly over her curls. "She just passed out a few minutes ago. Should make for a peaceful ride home." I stepped farther into the room,

carefully shifted Asha, standing up and holding her as if she weighed nothing.

over to me.

tiny body warm and relaxed against my chest.

I said, my voice low. I adjusted Asha, cradling her against me as I looked down at

course," she said, her