Lightning Is the Only Way

"There is no one that elicits these kinds of feelings from me," Mortis answered. "I see so many different Cultivators, but they all look the same to me. They are either strangers, friends, enemies, or whatever. There is no difference."

"So, do humans need some kind of connection with a stranger for love to exist in the future?" Azure asked. She was genuinely curious about all of this.

Mortis' brows furrowed. "No, not really."

"Then why does that have to exist for you to try?" Azure asked.

For the first time, Mortis didn't answer immediately.

Why didn't he just get to know more people?

Was it really necessary that his spark had to exist for a relationship to blossom?

Obviously not.

There were plenty of mortals and Cultivators that got together with people after just being friends for years on end.

There had been no romantic attraction between them in the beginning, but they had eventually ended together.

For some reason, a kind of pressure appeared in Mortis' insides.

'Is it because of my past?' he thought. 'I've felt how Gravis have felt for so long. I've felt these intense bursts of warmth and love inside myself so many times.'

Mortis looked into the distance. 'Is it because I fear disappointment? Do I fear that my eventual love won't be as vibrant as the love Gravis feels for Stella?'

A moment of silence passed.

'And then, this entire thing with Joyce happened, which confirmed my fear. I was attracted to Joyce, but I never felt anything remotely as intense as what Gravis felt for Stella back then.'

'And then, Joyce died, and I felt like my ability to love died with her.'

Mortis glanced over at Azure, who only looked into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

'I think I fear disappointment,' Mortis thought. 'It might be possible that I'm afraid of losing my hope. I can dream about how great love is and how it makes me feel, but I'm afraid that my imagination is off.'

Another moment of silence.

'If even love turns out to be a disappointment, what else is there left but greyness in my life?'

'If love doesn't live up to my expectations, what reason do I even have left to live?'

"Azure, why do you cultivate?" Mortis asked.

Azure was surprised by the question. How did Mortis even come up with that question?

"Why do I cultivate?" Azure asked.

Mortis nodded.

Azure remained silent.

"I don't know," she said after several seconds. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Living just feels natural to me, and it's like something I just have to do."

"Is there something in your life that you don't want to lose, no matter what?" Mortis asked.

Azure remained silent for a bit longer as her expression became uncomfortable.

"Not really," Azure answered with an unsure voice.

do you keep comprehending Laws? Why do you go through the fear

tempers themselves just for fun. We all do it out of necessity since we want to become more powerful. And why do we want

our life that we don't want to lose. We don't want to feel

have nothing you care about, what is even the point of surviving?" Mortis asked, looking at Azure. "From what you've said, you sound like you don't have anything you want to live for.

Azure remained silent.

silent for

that time, Mortis

curious about, but he realized that his words might have had an

were normal to Mortis. He was thinking

never even asked

added. "You obviously have something to live for. Otherwise, you wouldn't have had the willpower to get through

Azure said, her expression showing an internal struggle. "What do I actually live for?

you don't need to have the feelings we humans have. For you, power might have a vastly stronger appeal than for us. Becoming more

them to humans. You're not a human, and you already accepted that, right? Why search for something unimportant to you?"

Mortis had regretted asking his earlier question. Azure seemed

that's not the case," Azure said as she looked at Mortis with confusion and nervousness. "I know what you're trying

Mortis raised an eyebrow.

simply overwhelmed by something I have never felt before," Azure said. "That's why it was

you feel?"

Azure said. "It's like a black hole that sucks out all the drive in my being, and it feels like it's consuming my

uncomfortable, and he felt guilty beyond

he

"Hey, listen-"

I'm a Star God, and I've gone through worse. You don't need to fix me or anything. I can deal

After all, he knew how

immediately. Instead, she wanted

never felt this feeling before, right?" Azure asked. "I've never had an issue with life, and I felt satisfied with simply becoming more powerful. However, as soon

anything like this in the past. I haven't felt anything even remotely like this, not even a weaker version. It's completely

Gods, right?" Azure asked. "So, when we get a Spirit, does it also mean that our emotional concepts become more

into thought when

Could she be right?

now, Mortis couldn't be

Azure

about beasts that managed to become Heaven's Magnates?" Azure asked. "You said you know a Heaven's

it?" Mortis

need to know all the four main Laws, and one main Law always stumped me. I always tried to think of a way to comprehend it, but I never came up with

talking about the Law of Empathy,"

Mortis' eyes widened.

Right!

even go about comprehending the Law

knew it, and he was sure that a beast couldn't feel the amount of empathy required to

be impossible for

Magnate become a Heaven's Magnate if it's impossible for a

you think that you can now feel love like humans?" Mortis asked in

Azure said. "I think so, but I

she looked at

to try?"

Mortis froze.

That…

at Azure. "Could you be a bit more

work, we can just stop. After all, even if I can't feel it, I know a bit about how it works, and I know that it would hurt you if I couldn't reciprocate. So, we can just try, right? If it works, we can both experience love, and if it doesn't,

the back

don't know," he

asked, genuinely confused. "I see no downside, only

Then, Azure remembered something.

it because I'm not attractive to