Lightning Is the Only Way

"There is no one that elicits these kinds of feelings from me," Mortis answered. "I see so many different Cultivators, but they all look the same to me. They are either strangers, friends, enemies, or whatever. There is no difference."

"So, do humans need some kind of connection with a stranger for love to exist in the future?" Azure asked. She was genuinely curious about all of this.

Mortis' brows furrowed. "No, not really."

"Then why does that have to exist for you to try?" Azure asked.

For the first time, Mortis didn't answer immediately.

Why didn't he just get to know more people?

Was it really necessary that his spark had to exist for a relationship to blossom?

Obviously not.

There were plenty of mortals and Cultivators that got together with people after just being friends for years on end.

There had been no romantic attraction between them in the beginning, but they had eventually ended together.

For some reason, a kind of pressure appeared in Mortis' insides.

'Is it because of my past?' he thought. 'I've felt how Gravis have felt for so long. I've felt these intense bursts of warmth and love inside myself so many times.'

Mortis looked into the distance. 'Is it because I fear disappointment? Do I fear that my eventual love won't be as vibrant as the love Gravis feels for Stella?'

A moment of silence passed.

'And then, this entire thing with Joyce happened, which confirmed my fear. I was attracted to Joyce, but I never felt anything remotely as intense as what Gravis felt for Stella back then.'

'And then, Joyce died, and I felt like my ability to love died with her.'

Mortis glanced over at Azure, who only looked into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

'I think I fear disappointment,' Mortis thought. 'It might be possible that I'm afraid of losing my hope. I can dream about how great love is and how it makes me feel, but I'm afraid that my imagination is off.'

Another moment of silence.

'If even love turns out to be a disappointment, what else is there left but greyness in my life?'

'If love doesn't live up to my expectations, what reason do I even have left to live?'

"Azure, why do you cultivate?" Mortis asked.

Azure was surprised by the question. How did Mortis even come up with that question?

"Why do I cultivate?" Azure asked.

Mortis nodded.

Azure remained silent.

"I don't know," she said after several seconds. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Living just feels natural to me, and it's like something I just have to do."

"Is there something in your life that you don't want to lose, no matter what?" Mortis asked.

Azure remained silent for a bit longer as her expression became uncomfortable.

"Not really," Azure answered with an unsure voice.

comprehending Laws? Why do you go through the fear and pain of

out of necessity since

want to feel the pain of a loved one

point of surviving?" Mortis asked, looking at Azure. "From what you've said, you sound like you don't have anything you want to live for. So, why

Azure remained silent.

silent for

time, Mortis

he was curious about, but he realized that

were normal to Mortis. He was thinking these thoughts every single

had never even

don't have to answer, and you also don't need to question yourself regarding this topic," Mortis added. "You obviously have something to live for. Otherwise, you wouldn't have had

right," Azure said, her expression showing an internal struggle. "What do I actually live for? Why

You're not a human, and you don't need to have the feelings we humans have. For

invalidate your reasons for living by comparing them to humans. You're not a human, and you already accepted that, right? Why search

Mortis had regretted asking his earlier question. Azure seemed to genuinely

Azure said as she looked at Mortis with confusion and nervousness. "I know what you're trying to

Mortis raised an eyebrow.

felt before," Azure said. "That's why

you feel?"

black hole that sucks out all the drive in

and he felt

was a feeling he was very

"Hey, listen-"

that I'm not some mortal. I'm a Star God, and I've gone through worse. You don't need to fix me or anything. I can deal with this stuff well on my

looked at Azure skeptically. After all, he knew how overwhelming this

to convince Mortis immediately. Instead, she wanted to tell him what she was

felt this feeling before, right?" Azure asked. "I've never had an issue with life, and I felt satisfied with simply becoming more powerful. However, as soon as you brought my attention

in the past. I haven't felt anything

Gods, right?" Azure asked. "So, when we get a Spirit, does it also mean that

into thought

Could she be right?

now, Mortis

Azure added

Azure asked. "You said you know a Heaven's Magnate

about it?"

become a Heaven's Magnate, you need to know all the four main Laws, and one main Law always stumped me. I always tried to think of a way to comprehend it, but I never came up with one. You know why? Because it seemed simply impossible for

Law

Mortis' eyes widened.

Right!

go about

it, and he was sure that a beast couldn't feel the amount of empathy required

be impossible for a

Magnate if it's impossible for

think that you can now feel love

Azure said. "I think so, but I can't be sure

she looked

try?" she

Mortis froze.

That…

you be a bit more specific?" Mortis

about how it works, and I know that it would hurt you if I couldn't reciprocate. So,

the back of

don't know,"

genuinely confused. "I see no downside, only

Then, Azure remembered something.

I'm not attractive to you?" Azure asked, genuinely