Lightning Is the Only Way

"There is no one that elicits these kinds of feelings from me," Mortis answered. "I see so many different Cultivators, but they all look the same to me. They are either strangers, friends, enemies, or whatever. There is no difference."

"So, do humans need some kind of connection with a stranger for love to exist in the future?" Azure asked. She was genuinely curious about all of this.

Mortis' brows furrowed. "No, not really."

"Then why does that have to exist for you to try?" Azure asked.

For the first time, Mortis didn't answer immediately.

Why didn't he just get to know more people?

Was it really necessary that his spark had to exist for a relationship to blossom?

Obviously not.

There were plenty of mortals and Cultivators that got together with people after just being friends for years on end.

There had been no romantic attraction between them in the beginning, but they had eventually ended together.

For some reason, a kind of pressure appeared in Mortis' insides.

'Is it because of my past?' he thought. 'I've felt how Gravis have felt for so long. I've felt these intense bursts of warmth and love inside myself so many times.'

Mortis looked into the distance. 'Is it because I fear disappointment? Do I fear that my eventual love won't be as vibrant as the love Gravis feels for Stella?'

A moment of silence passed.

'And then, this entire thing with Joyce happened, which confirmed my fear. I was attracted to Joyce, but I never felt anything remotely as intense as what Gravis felt for Stella back then.'

'And then, Joyce died, and I felt like my ability to love died with her.'

Mortis glanced over at Azure, who only looked into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

'I think I fear disappointment,' Mortis thought. 'It might be possible that I'm afraid of losing my hope. I can dream about how great love is and how it makes me feel, but I'm afraid that my imagination is off.'

Another moment of silence.

'If even love turns out to be a disappointment, what else is there left but greyness in my life?'

'If love doesn't live up to my expectations, what reason do I even have left to live?'

"Azure, why do you cultivate?" Mortis asked.

Azure was surprised by the question. How did Mortis even come up with that question?

"Why do I cultivate?" Azure asked.

Mortis nodded.

Azure remained silent.

"I don't know," she said after several seconds. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Living just feels natural to me, and it's like something I just have to do."

"Is there something in your life that you don't want to lose, no matter what?" Mortis asked.

Azure remained silent for a bit longer as her expression became uncomfortable.

"Not really," Azure answered with an unsure voice.

Why do you

it out of necessity since we want to become more powerful. And why do we want to become more powerful? Because

to die? Because we have something in our life that we don't want to lose. We don't want to feel the pain of

is even the point of surviving?" Mortis asked, looking at Azure. "From what you've said, you sound like you don't have anything you want to live

Azure remained silent.

remained silent for

time, Mortis regretted his

he was curious about, but he realized that his words might have

He

Azure had never even asked herself

to answer, and you also don't need to question yourself regarding this topic," Mortis added. "You obviously have something to live

Azure said, her expression showing an internal struggle. "What do I actually live for?

have the feelings we humans have. For

comparing them to humans. You're not a human, and you already accepted that, right? Why

earlier

with confusion and nervousness.

Mortis raised an eyebrow.

have never felt before," Azure said. "That's why it was so

do you feel?" Mortis

emptiness," Azure said. "It's like a black hole that sucks out all the drive in

and he felt

he was

"Hey, listen-"

not some mortal. I'm a Star God, and I've gone through worse. You don't need to fix me or anything. I

all, he

immediately. Instead, she wanted

issue with life, and I felt satisfied with simply becoming more powerful. However, as soon as you brought my attention to the purpose

past. I haven't felt anything even remotely like this, not even a

when we become Star Gods, right?" Azure asked. "So, when

into thought

Could she be right?

Mortis couldn't

then, Azure added

Azure asked. "You said you know a

about it?" Mortis

Magnate, you need to know all the four main Laws, and one main Law always stumped me. I always tried to think of a way to comprehend it, but I never came up with one. You know

Law

Mortis' eyes widened.

Right!

beast even go about comprehending

of Empathy since he knew it, and he was sure that a

impossible for a

become a Heaven's Magnate if it's impossible for a beast to feel

can now feel love like humans?"

know," Azure said. "I think so, but I can't be sure without

looked at

try?"

Mortis froze.

That…

at Azure. "Could you be

work, we can just stop. After all, even if I can't feel it, I know a bit about how it works, and I know that it would hurt you if I couldn't reciprocate. So, we can just try, right? If it works, we can both

the back of his head

know,"

are you hesitating?" Azure asked, genuinely confused. "I see no downside, only upsides. We will come out with more knowledge, no

Then, Azure remembered something.

it because I'm not attractive to you?" Azure asked,