Lightning Is the Only Way

"There is no one that elicits these kinds of feelings from me," Mortis answered. "I see so many different Cultivators, but they all look the same to me. They are either strangers, friends, enemies, or whatever. There is no difference."

"So, do humans need some kind of connection with a stranger for love to exist in the future?" Azure asked. She was genuinely curious about all of this.

Mortis' brows furrowed. "No, not really."

"Then why does that have to exist for you to try?" Azure asked.

For the first time, Mortis didn't answer immediately.

Why didn't he just get to know more people?

Was it really necessary that his spark had to exist for a relationship to blossom?

Obviously not.

There were plenty of mortals and Cultivators that got together with people after just being friends for years on end.

There had been no romantic attraction between them in the beginning, but they had eventually ended together.

For some reason, a kind of pressure appeared in Mortis' insides.

'Is it because of my past?' he thought. 'I've felt how Gravis have felt for so long. I've felt these intense bursts of warmth and love inside myself so many times.'

Mortis looked into the distance. 'Is it because I fear disappointment? Do I fear that my eventual love won't be as vibrant as the love Gravis feels for Stella?'

A moment of silence passed.

'And then, this entire thing with Joyce happened, which confirmed my fear. I was attracted to Joyce, but I never felt anything remotely as intense as what Gravis felt for Stella back then.'

'And then, Joyce died, and I felt like my ability to love died with her.'

Mortis glanced over at Azure, who only looked into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

'I think I fear disappointment,' Mortis thought. 'It might be possible that I'm afraid of losing my hope. I can dream about how great love is and how it makes me feel, but I'm afraid that my imagination is off.'

Another moment of silence.

'If even love turns out to be a disappointment, what else is there left but greyness in my life?'

'If love doesn't live up to my expectations, what reason do I even have left to live?'

"Azure, why do you cultivate?" Mortis asked.

Azure was surprised by the question. How did Mortis even come up with that question?

"Why do I cultivate?" Azure asked.

Mortis nodded.

Azure remained silent.

"I don't know," she said after several seconds. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Living just feels natural to me, and it's like something I just have to do."

"Is there something in your life that you don't want to lose, no matter what?" Mortis asked.

Azure remained silent for a bit longer as her expression became uncomfortable.

"Not really," Azure answered with an unsure voice.

Why do you keep comprehending Laws? Why do

all do it out of necessity since we want to become more powerful. And why do we want to become more powerful? Because we don't want

to lose. We don't want to feel the pain of a loved one dying. We want to

looking at Azure. "From what you've said, you sound like you don't have anything you want to live for. So, why

Azure remained silent.

silent for

time, Mortis

he was curious about, but he realized that his words might have had an unintended effect

were normal to Mortis. He was thinking these

comparison, Azure had never even asked

also don't need to question yourself regarding this topic," Mortis added. "You obviously

said, her expression showing an internal struggle. "What do I actually live

we humans have. For you, power might have a vastly stronger appeal than for us. Becoming more powerful might feel way more fulfilling than for

You're not a human, and

his earlier question. Azure seemed

case," Azure said as she looked at Mortis with confusion and nervousness. "I know what

Mortis raised an eyebrow.

have never felt before," Azure said. "That's why it was so

you feel?"

Azure said. "It's like a black hole that sucks out all the drive in my

expression became uncomfortable, and he felt

feeling he was very

"Hey, listen-"

a second," Azure interrupted Mortis. "Keep in mind that I'm not some mortal. I'm a Star God, and I've gone through worse. You don't need to fix me or anything. I can deal with this stuff well

After all, he knew how overwhelming this feeling

noticed Mortis' expression, but she didn't try to convince Mortis immediately. Instead,

had an issue with life, and I felt satisfied with simply becoming more powerful. However, as soon as you

the past. I haven't felt anything even

get a Spirit when we become Star Gods, right?" Azure asked. "So, when we get a Spirit, does it also mean that our emotional concepts become

thought

Could she be right?

now, Mortis

then, Azure

to become Heaven's Magnates?" Azure asked. "You said you know a Heaven's Magnate that's a

it?"

become a Heaven's Magnate, you need to know all the four main Laws, and one main Law always stumped me. I always tried to think of a way to comprehend it, but I never came up with one. You

about the Law

Mortis' eyes widened.

Right!

a beast even go about

took to comprehend the Law of Empathy since he knew it, and he was sure that a

impossible for

the Black Magnate become a Heaven's Magnate if it's impossible for a beast to feel

you think that you can now feel love like humans?" Mortis

"I think so, but I can't be sure

she looked at

to try?" she

Mortis froze.

That…

at Azure. "Could you

all, even if I can't feel it, I know a bit about how it works, and I know that it would hurt you if I couldn't reciprocate. So, we can just try,

scratched the back of his head

know," he

are you hesitating?" Azure asked, genuinely confused. "I see no downside, only upsides.

Then, Azure remembered something.

is it because I'm not attractive