Lightning Is the Only Way

"There is no one that elicits these kinds of feelings from me," Mortis answered. "I see so many different Cultivators, but they all look the same to me. They are either strangers, friends, enemies, or whatever. There is no difference."

"So, do humans need some kind of connection with a stranger for love to exist in the future?" Azure asked. She was genuinely curious about all of this.

Mortis' brows furrowed. "No, not really."

"Then why does that have to exist for you to try?" Azure asked.

For the first time, Mortis didn't answer immediately.

Why didn't he just get to know more people?

Was it really necessary that his spark had to exist for a relationship to blossom?

Obviously not.

There were plenty of mortals and Cultivators that got together with people after just being friends for years on end.

There had been no romantic attraction between them in the beginning, but they had eventually ended together.

For some reason, a kind of pressure appeared in Mortis' insides.

'Is it because of my past?' he thought. 'I've felt how Gravis have felt for so long. I've felt these intense bursts of warmth and love inside myself so many times.'

Mortis looked into the distance. 'Is it because I fear disappointment? Do I fear that my eventual love won't be as vibrant as the love Gravis feels for Stella?'

A moment of silence passed.

'And then, this entire thing with Joyce happened, which confirmed my fear. I was attracted to Joyce, but I never felt anything remotely as intense as what Gravis felt for Stella back then.'

'And then, Joyce died, and I felt like my ability to love died with her.'

Mortis glanced over at Azure, who only looked into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

'I think I fear disappointment,' Mortis thought. 'It might be possible that I'm afraid of losing my hope. I can dream about how great love is and how it makes me feel, but I'm afraid that my imagination is off.'

Another moment of silence.

'If even love turns out to be a disappointment, what else is there left but greyness in my life?'

'If love doesn't live up to my expectations, what reason do I even have left to live?'

"Azure, why do you cultivate?" Mortis asked.

Azure was surprised by the question. How did Mortis even come up with that question?

"Why do I cultivate?" Azure asked.

Mortis nodded.

Azure remained silent.

"I don't know," she said after several seconds. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it. Living just feels natural to me, and it's like something I just have to do."

"Is there something in your life that you don't want to lose, no matter what?" Mortis asked.

Azure remained silent for a bit longer as her expression became uncomfortable.

"Not really," Azure answered with an unsure voice.

Why do you go

do anything else. No Cultivator goes out and tempers themselves just for fun. We all do it out of necessity since we want to become more powerful. And why do we want to become more powerful? Because we

want to lose. We don't want to feel the pain of a loved one dying. We want to spend more time with our loved ones. We want to see what tomorrow

about, what is even the point of surviving?" Mortis asked, looking at Azure. "From what you've said,

Azure remained silent.

remained silent for

time, Mortis regretted

had only asked some things he was curious about, but he

Mortis. He was thinking these thoughts

comparison, Azure had never even asked herself

and you also don't need to question yourself regarding this topic," Mortis added. "You obviously have something to live for. Otherwise, you wouldn't have had the willpower to get through so much

were right," Azure said, her expression showing an internal struggle. "What do I

Mortis added. "Heaven made you to become powerful. You're not a human, and you don't need to have the feelings we humans have. For you, power might have a vastly stronger appeal than for us. Becoming more powerful might feel way more fulfilling than for

your reasons for living by comparing them to humans. You're not a

his earlier question.

and nervousness. "I know what

Mortis raised an eyebrow.

I have never felt before," Azure said. "That's why it was so difficult for me

do you feel?" Mortis

black hole that sucks out all the drive in my being, and it feels like it's consuming my

expression became uncomfortable, and he felt guilty

feeling he was very familiar

"Hey, listen-"

Star God, and I've gone through worse. You don't need to fix me or anything. I can deal with this stuff well on my

at Azure skeptically. After all, he knew how overwhelming this feeling

she didn't try to convince Mortis immediately. Instead, she wanted to tell

feeling before, right?" Azure asked. "I've never had an issue with life, and I felt satisfied with simply becoming more powerful. However, as

this in the past. I haven't felt anything even remotely like this, not even a weaker version. It's completely

when we get a Spirit, does

also fell into thought when Azure

Could she be right?

now, Mortis

Azure added

Heaven's Magnates?" Azure asked. "You said you know a Heaven's Magnate

about it?" Mortis

a Heaven's Magnate, you need to know all the four main Laws, and one main Law always stumped me. I always tried to think of a way to comprehend it,

Law of

Mortis' eyes widened.

Right!

even go about

what it took to comprehend the Law of Empathy since he knew it, and he was sure that

would be impossible for

a Heaven's Magnate if it's impossible for

you can now feel love like humans?" Mortis

Azure said. "I think so, but I can't be

looked

try?"

Mortis froze.

That…

you be a

I know a bit about how it works, and I know that it would hurt you if I couldn't reciprocate. So, we can

back of his head

don't know,"

genuinely confused. "I see no downside, only upsides. We will come out with more knowledge,

Then, Azure remembered something.

it because I'm not attractive to you?" Azure asked, genuinely