Luca’s Inferno by Karima Sa’ad Usman

29 Getting By Luca.

I roared with all my might. My pain was real, my heart was broken, and my soul had been ripped from me. Why was I doomed? Emma was everything I had ever wanted in a woman; perfect in every way. She was my soulmate, and I had to let her go. I had to let her go, so I do not lose her. There were two many unknown people after me, and she wasn’t cut out for this life. My heart was bleeding. Images of her crying in the car reeled in my mind. All I had to do was change my mind, and all this pain would be gone, but I knew the pain would be worse if I let her stay and she got killed. She bared her heart out and pleaded with me; little did she know I was more in love with her than she was with me. Why did I have to do well in the family business and rise to the top? I was ambitious, and look where it got me. The one thing I wanted so much, I could never have.
I knelt on the floor in my bedroom and wept. Usually, she would hold and try to console me, but now that it was over, who will do those things? I did not know how lonely I was until now. My life was bleak, and she brought colour into it. She made me feel alive. I wept. I went to the closet where her clothes were and sat in the middle, taking in her scent and crying. She left empty-handed. She didn’t want to take anything I got her. I wanted her to keep the ring, but she left that one too. I looked at my wedding band and did not know what to do. Taking it off will be difficult. I knew someone was at the door, but I could not leave the closet to check I was broken.
“Emma!” I roared again. What the fuck had I done? I was tempted to call Gerald to bring her back, but every time I remembered the scene in the hotel room, I would decide against it. What if she had died? What if the bullet had hit her heart? At least she was alive and well. Yes, her heart was broken, but she will heal with time. I wept for a bit. Images of us reeled on my mind, and I never knew a time would come when someone would get to me and touch my heart profoundly.
My problems were too much. There was a faceless mob rising, families that wanted my position and business territories, the Bianchis and their stupid proposal, and the bastard that sent humans to try to kill Emma and me. The problem was much. If only I knew where my problem was from, I would have risked it, but other than Deigo Gallo and Bianchi, the rest were faceless, and that was the most dangerous threat. It could be anyone. I did not know a time like this would come. Somehow I wish I could get a do-over in my life. I would have given the family business to Roberto and run away with my sweet Emma. My curse had somehow become hers.
Emma’s warning rang in my head, and something in her eyes stated she meant it. If I dared die, she would kill herself. I remained in the closet for a while and returned to my bedroom. A FEW HOURS LATER.
Gerald finally called my phone, and I answered.
“Hello,” I managed to sound hard and unaffected.
“We have dropped her off at her folks,” he said, and I knew he was hesitating.
“Say it,” he ordered him.

“She cried all the way, alpha. Begged us to turn around a few times and cried some more. It wasn’t easy, alpha,” he said, and my heart shattered some more. I was responsible for her pain. She said no strings attached, but we were both deceiving ourselves when we said we wouldn’t get our hearts involved. I was stupid. The attraction was there from the bus. I knew she was meant for me, yet I still went ahead, thinking I would have the heart to let her go when the time carne. I guess my stupidity was what it was, stupidity
I hung up and lay on my bed. I had loved her one last time, and she had let me. I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life.
ONE WEEK LATER.
Catalina walked into my home office. I knew she was scared because I had been cranky since Emma left. Yelling and getting angry at every slight provocation. I had almost killed innocent people, and that pissed me off. I felt myself losing my mind, and there was nothing that could keep me centred.
“Come in,” I said to my sister, and she came to sit.
“Luca,” she managed, and I looked at her.
“Do not push yourself like this. Emma is tougher than she looks. She can handle our lifestyle. Go and bring her back. There is no reason why you two should be apart. Please, Luca. She was hurting when she left,” She said, and I looked at her. I wanted to ask her if she had spoken to Emma but decided against it.
“Stop talking to me about Emma. Tell her to move on when you speak to her because I won’t change my mind. It was a contract, and now it is over.” I said, and she looked at me. She was about to speak again when I yelled at her. She shook with fear, and I regretted it the instant I had done it.
“I am sorry, Catalina. Please. I have too much to do. Do not speak of Emma again. Whatever was between us is over. Soon she will stop crying and get over it. I promise.” I said more to myself than to Catalina. My sister did not say a word but got up to leave. Who was I fooling? My heart was in the same state as Emma’s. The only difference was that, unlike her, I dared not break down in the presence of others.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Emma had done an excellent job with the books and organised everything. I doubted I would find someone who could genuinely help me like she did. For now, I will have to do it myself. So I decided to go through the entries to take my mind off the disease plaguing it called ‘ Heartbreak’. It wasn’t long before I found something that Emma did not mention. Why didn’t she tell me? These were suspicious transactions, and she did not bring them to my attention. I knew it was deliberate because she made the entries. My father was paying money into three accounts of people I did not know without permission. It was my money. He had wasted all the money left to him by his father. I built this family’s business from peanuts, and now he was wasting what I had managed to gather. What I saw did not sit well with me, and I was mad.
He paid monthly money to Karolyn Wallace, Marco Wallace and Randy Wallace. Who the fuck were these people, and why was my father paying them money monthly? Why didn’t Emma tell me? This was the time that I would have liked to spank her for this shit, but she was in her father’s house. I wanted to call Tevin to ask to speak to his sister, who was still my wife, because I was yet to bring myself to start the annulment process. I planned not to annul the
marriage ever so I would know when she wanted to settle down, and then I will divorce her properly. Keeping her as my wife on paper made my heart bear the pain. Why did she keep this from me? Why didn’t she tell me? I knew my mental state wasn’t so good, and I was erratic, but I had to confront my father. It was things like this that made me suspicious of people. I angrily left my office and went down the stairs. He was in the living room with my mother, watching television. The moment my parents saw me, they smiled. My father was glad I was out of the office, and my mother was concerned. Ever since Emma left, my mother had been acting weird. She missed Emma in her own way. When you fight with people often and live in the same space, blaming them for everything that goes wrong, you feel it when they are no longer around. My mother had not brought up Teressa since Emma left, and with how things were looking, she would not bring it up. She knew how I felt about Emma, and after Emma took a bullet for me, there was no questioning how she felt about me. She also proved she did not care for the money, which was what my mother thought she was after initially. I saw regret in her eyes, but it was too late because I had let Emma go so she could have a decent life, safe with a certain future, instead of living on the edge and watching her back every time. “Father, I need to talk to you now,” I commanded, and my father frowned at me. He looked a bit confused. Since he was with my mother, I figured there was no point speaking about the issue behind her back, so I spoke up.
“Why are you paying the Wallace money every month? Who the fuck are these people?” I asked him, and he was in shock. He did not expect me to know but too bad for him, Emma was good at her job. I guess that was why she did not tell me; she did not want to create a problem between my father and me. She knew how I would react when I discovered that my father had been secretly paying money that I worked for to strangers. Because of this money and business, I could not have the woman I love in my life. Thinking of the extent of my sacrifice for the family business made me angrier, and I yelled.
“Tell me, god damn it!” I yelled, and he shook.