The beautician chuckles, apparently enjoying my torture. “Just a few more strips, and you’ll be smoother than a baby’s bottom!”

“Fantastic,” I groan, bracing myself. “Because clearly, my life’s ambition was to achieve the sleek aerodynamics of a hairless cat. Maybe we can schedule a tail wax next time?”

As another strip is ruthlessly removed, I think about the newfound breeziness I’ll experience. Forget the wind in my hair; now it’s all about the wind down there.

“Almost done, just a few more, and you’ll be perfect,” she assures me, oblivious to the inner turmoil and the plotting of revenge that’s brewing inside me.

Perfect? I’ll be lucky if I leave here and am still able to sit down. Soren owes me big time. I’m talking about lifetime supplies of chocolate, foot massages, and maybe a pet unicorn that poops delicious jello.

Rip, another piece of me gone! There’s no way all of me survived this unscathed. I swear I can feel the breeze doing a whistle–stop tour through my newly reconstructed vagina. I start to sit up, thinking she is done when she turns back to me and pushes my shoulder back down. I look at her

questionably.

“Now for the last part,” she says.

“Last part? I am pretty sure there are no parts left; you

Chapter 62

1288 Vouche

it’s not an onion;

core.

wedding day,” the beautician cheerfully chimes

wax on…

eyes widening in horror. “Stragglers? Wait, what part

around the back alley, dear. We aim for a

back alley waxed hadn’t even crossed my mind. “I thought we were just doing the front porch, not landscaping

snickers, slathering the wax on while I internally groan, thinking of how I am going to kill Soren when I

Soren

for that birth certificate, it was the only ID I found, she must have her wallet on her. But the sooner she registers, the sooner I can get my brother

I click the link with a sense of annoyance, the digital chime echoing in my office as

Chapter 82

all–too–familiar visage marred by a

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