Maid for the Mafia by Jaylee

She Is Still Here

**ROMANY**

Before the jet begins its descent, I see we are close to the beach. There are more skyscrapers out here than there are in downtown Blake and although I've never seen it, I suddenly know where we are. "You live in Eastside," I said conversationally, without taking my eyes away from the window.

"Right. The Borderlands to be exact," Mickey answered.

Something about his voice sounded different and I ripped my eyes away from the view outside to gaze in his direction. He was turned away, a contemplative hand posed just beneath his chin as his thumb traced back and forth over his jawline. My eyes fixated on it, the drag of his thumb over the expertly shaved flesh beneath it. His dark eyebrows were furrowed, his plump lips pursed in displeasure as he stared through the glass with stormy green eyes. It was a look I hadn't seen on him before. One that spoke of his truer nature and for a moment I wondered what he was like when he was truly angry, or raging, or worse. As unhealthy as it might sound, I suddenly wanted to push him there, just to know. I wanted to see him in every light, not just the one he works overtime to show to me. His frustration with my unwillingness to accept what I'm sure he *believes* is the truth, should not be the pebble in his shoe. It is *my* problem, not his. As he's made painfully clear already.

I declined his little invitation to take me to the Maldives. *Well, what did he expect? I've just learned that my cousin was set up and may or may not be dead, and he's talking about vacations and foreign fucking beaches.* I can't possibly be *that* important to him anyway. He'll get over it and if he doesn't... then

acting lately. Especially when it comes to this new group of men in my life. *I've never been that kind of person before. Not ever.* Thanks to Matthew, I*know* how horrible it feels to have your emotions jerked around. To be *managed* by someone whose one true desire

it. It is a true and very real thing, despite that some may not believe. It is my opinion that *those* people, the ones who can't fathom

is. For one thing, I have felt such the loss of it once before. On the

my head where it hurt. I was nearly in tears as the pain seemed to stretch over my entire body with an aching heaviness that seemed to consume me. But then, just as suddenly, the pain disappeared and I was left feeling raw and unstable. Although I was flooded with relief that the suffering was over and my professor was over the moon with joy to not have a student keel over dead right in front of her, something else began to happen. An intense sadness began to creep into my heart and without knowing exactly why, I excused myself to call my mother. It wasn't the way that some might think. I didn't instant;y know she was gone. I just knew that she was the first person I should call. So, I did. When an ER nurse who introduced herself to me as Amanda Sunshine - and yes, that was her *real* name - answered my mother's phone, my heart began thumping so strongly that I thought I could hear its echo. The first thing Miss Sunshine asked me was if I was related to the woman that owned the phone she was on. Of course, I said yes, but that was the last intelligible word I was able to utter before one of the stars in my sky went out like the flame on a candle. It was right then, *right* when I answered Amanda that I reached out with

anymore. And when I pictured her face... I just knew. I