175 Chapter 175

175 Chapter 175

Seraphina’s POV 1

The question hung in the air like a guillotine blade.

*Are you still in love with Damien?*

My fork clattered onto my plate. Lasagna suddenly tasted like cardboard. Like ashes. Like every mistake I’d ever made.

“I-” My voice cracked. “That’s not-”

“Mom.” Caleb’s voice carried a warning. “Don’t.”

But Margaret wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at me with those kind, knowing eyes that saw right through every wall I’d built.

“Honey,” she said softly. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But I think maybe you need to.”

My hands were shaking. I pressed them flat against the table, trying to stop the tremors. Trying to stop the flood of memories that

threatened to drown me.

*Damien’s voice. Adrian’s laugh. Lily’s tiny hand wrapped around my finger.*

“I can’t think about them,” I whispered. The words barely made it past my lips. “If I think about them, I’ll—”

Break. Fall apart. Run back and beg them to take me even though I’m not good enough. 1

I closed my eyes.

Three years of discipline. Three years of forcing myself not to wonder. Not to imagine. Not to *feel*.

But Margaret had cracked that door open, and everything came flooding through.

“Lily’s three now,” I said, my voice breaking. “Three years old. She was just a baby when I left. She probably doesn’t even remember me.”

The tears came hot and fast. I couldn’t stop them.

“And Adrian–Adrian’s eight. He’s probably lost teeth. Learned to read chapter books. Made new friends. Grown so tall I wouldn’t

recognize him.”

My chest felt like it was splitting open. All the pain I’d been holding back for three years, all the longing and guilt and desperate love, it

all came pouring out.

out of me. “Do they wake up every morning and

was around the table in seconds, pulling me into her arms. “No. No, babies,

a child.

He moved to Margaret’s side, his

“That takes more

face with my hands. My eyes were probably swollen

18.JA

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175 Chapter 175

tried so hard not to think about them,” I admitted. “Every day for three years, I woke up and told myself I couldn’t let myself

“You’d break,” Margaret finished.

“Yeah.”

the table. Not uncomfortable. Just heavy with things that

pointed out. “You’ve

I laughed bitterly. “I’m supposed to just show back up? ‘Hey kids, sorry I abandoned you

now!‘”

not what

so much it feels like I’m missing a limb.

“Then maybe-”

hand back, my walls slamming back up. “No. I can’t think like that. I left for good reasons. Nothing’s

Margaret said softly. “You’ve

23

Still weak. Still not good enough for an Alpha and

the sound of my ragged breathing and the tick of

Margaret cleared her throat,

taking on that forced brightness people used when

you thought about

Here

“Mom,” Caleb warned again.

time to be alone.

“Margaret, please-”

pushed lasagna around my plate, not looking at anyone. “The guys at

of them have more scars

“Coffee shops? Bookstores? Those

really go to those

“Why not?”

interested in dating right now,” I said

exchanged a

18/14

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