Chapter 585: Chapter 585
I had thought nothing was insurmountable. Over the years, I’d shouldered quite a bit, venturing out to study on my own, starting my own business.
I had drawn a clear line between myself and my family. Every achievement was hard-earned, but I had borne them all.
Su Zhe felt that since he had even survived a terminal illness, naturally, there should be nothing he couldn’t handle.
The breakup with Shen Xun was something that was bound to happen anyway. Su Zhe had been bracing for it even while they were still together.
Shen Xun, the eldest legitimate grandson of the Shen Family.
Lulu’s biological brother, Aunt Zhao’s treasured son.
Picking any of those titles out of a hat, they were all out of Su Zhe’s league. Those moments of connection, of shared interests, of mutual understanding – they were all stolen.
Stolen moments are just that, stolen. They could only be quietly concealed, never seeing the light of day.
Because I was a pitiable thief, I should have silently exited the stage before the sunlight could reach me.
I had prepared myself mentally, given myself plenty of time, repeatedly hypnotizing myself, feeding myself psychological suggestions that this was the way things were supposed to be, this was how it should be.
So, when that moment truly arrived, Su Zhe followed the psychological cues he had set for himself, the presets he had made.
He exited the scene without hesitation.
Su Zhe had not expected that, despite how many times he had anticipated and psychologically prepared for it,
nobody told him it would be this painful.
So painful.
As if something were being gouged out of his bones, something carved out of his heart.
He was a man who had survived a terminal illness, who had endured that, yet couldn’t withstand this pain.
At first, he didn’t quite understand how an adult like himself, supposed to carry his own dignity, could let himself become so tormented, so haggard, so wretched.
Then one day a downpour came, just like a summer rain, where it could turn torrential in a matter of minutes, blurring the streets out of sight.
pulled over with his hazard
the car on the side of the
lights in the dark night, hearing the ticking of the hazard lights,
comes the delivery of a heart-shattering
that, though not overly clichéd, was
The Pain of Breathing.
lyric landed like
the pain that breathes, it lives in
you loved hurts, reading your letters hurts, even
attentive hurts, hating not understanding you hurts, wanting to see but
Shen Xun, Su Zhe didn’t realize that a song could harbor
could each lyric strike directly at him,
his hand to
help but chuckle to himself, then tears began to
too
that after parting with Shen Xun, even lyrics had
tears on his face made him
embraced his head,
in the low visibility of the
way it was. He was still the same Su Zhe, the excellent one, who didn’t need others to worry about
been so fragile that a single
this moment, within his line of sight, from clarity to blur,
figure was walking towards
voice was
at him, eyes tinged with weary bloodshot, gaze
Not okay.
Not okay at all.
I’m
song almost
of sadness, not
out these words,
his voice hoarse yet
countless times, the calm feigned before everyone. He had thought that it
feigned calmness, which might seem slightly dubious to others, became extremely fluent, incredibly smooth in front of this main
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