1. 19. Turmoiled Thoughts 

THEON 

Yilevna‘s mother was the one who killed mine... The conflict I felt inside of me had shaken me to my core. 

paced around my cabin; it had been an hour since we had found her, but I had been unable to stay in her presence, my head was about to burst. 

I looked around the room, it was too fucking small, the sway of the ship was making me sick and it almost felt like I couldn‘t fucking breathe. 

What do I do? 

What the fuck do I do? 

I stared at the ceiling, that was only a few inches above my head, 

It was too fucking claustrophobic in here. 

I threaded my hands together, placing them behind my head as I took deep breaths. 

I had killed Hana and William De‘Lacor, something I regretted every single fucking day... 

I know, I fucking know I no longer can take away her birth mother from her, I know what I fucking need to do... 

But everything I had worked my entire fucking life for was unravelling. First from the image of reality that Dad had portrayed, one that was beginning to hold a lot of questions and holes to the revenge I craved... I had spent the last decade waiting for the day I’d see that monster and kill her... 

She had been before me, but Yileyna had protected her and I had hesitated… 

My chest was burning up from the wounds, I needed to change my bandages before anyone saw them but I just... I couldn‘t fucking focus... 

I exhaled sharply, pulling my shirt off and unwrapping the bandages that were a disgusting mess, making my wounds itch. 

I looked down, seeing the injuries were looking as bad as they did days ago. I dropped down to the ground by the door, staring at the wall across from me as the ship swayed. 

What do I do? 

I felt fucking lost, every fucking thing I had worked my life for was... gone. 

I closed my eyes, squeezing my head, rocking slightly as I took deep breaths. 

When everything you have worked your entire fucking life for is just... gone, what do you do? 1 

A knock on the door made my head snap up, but I didn‘t move. I didn‘t want to see anyone. Not when I felt like I was going to fucking spiral. 

Another knock followed but I didn‘t reply until I heard the footsteps retreating. I stood up grabbed the bloody bandages, along with my dirty shirt, and walked to the bathroom, ready to wash off. 

Night had fallen, and I had gone out briefly to tell Flynn we were to head to Eastcourt, buti nad avoided Yileyna. I just needed to make sure Thea was ok, from there I would see what I can find out, and then head to Hunter‘s pack. 

I needed fucking answers, or I was going to lose my fucking mind. 

Yileyna... I needed to find out what she planned to do... but as relieved as I was that she was alive and near, no matter how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and never fucking let go, I couldn‘t. 

The rejection was still painful in my mind... everything that had happened... it all was fucking too much… and on top of that her Siren mother.... her identity... Fuck, why couldn‘t it be anyone else but her? 

My mind was still reeling. 

I dropped onto the bed, shirtless, the stinging had eased a little, but the wounds were still fucking hurting. Sleep didn‘t come and I sat up, maybe I‘d pop down to the hold and get some ale or wine..

I stood up, picking up a shirt and pulled it on, before leaving my room. Her scent lingered in the halls and I frowned, what was she doing out here

She had changed slightly, looking even more beautiful, although I have no fucking idea how that was possible... Yileyna... I was unable to get how fucking appealing she looked out of my mind... 

The urge to strip her naked and admire her was a temptation that would never be a reality. 

her siren form, she had looked different than others. Her tail was far more extravagant, with her scales hanging low on her hips and dipping in a V, it had been a turn–on in

no matter how fucking good she looked, I couldn‘t face her...

the door to the Hold, and I walked down the

been down here, after I had that nightmare. I opened a crate and took out a bottle of wine.

bit the cork off and dropped to the floor, resting my head against the hard

it get

going to feel like this for the rest of my

to a point where I no longer

harder when there was no

me turns out to be a lie… I

her familiar scent

did she want?

paused at the bottom of the steps and looked towards me. Her aura radiated off her and it was far more powerful than what it was when she had been pulled into the waters. Whatever happened down there had given her more powers, perhaps it was her shifting into her siren

you don‘t mind if I join, I need to talk to you.” She spoke, her voice held a sexier edge, a little more

the distraction right about now.

down next

to look at her flawless thighs, taking a swig from my bottle instead.

began softly.

talk about it, but was there any point?

carry on if she so wished.

justify her

looked a little older, as if she had shed the last remnants of the girl she

I asked for the sake of entertaining

than her being Yileyna‘s

a deep shaky breath and began telling me the

later we sat in silence as I pondered

Siren, who had obviously been his fated mate considering they made the Heart of Kaeladia, and then when he

She

me, Dad... or Andres. We are all hurting so many others in the name of revenge, to justify our own fucking actions.” I murmured quietly, looking at her. Her iridescent eyes seemed to be fixed and they drew my attention; purple, pink, blue yellow and green blended together, more vibrant than I

 

back to mind... She was made for me, but I was

her lips, her gaze flickering

miss the look

we can‘t keep going on like this Theon... it‘s a vicious cycle. The King apparently betrayed your father, I‘m saying apparently because he too seems like a monster, whether you agree or not. The king also betrayed Deliana, forcing her to want vengeance on all Alpha males, and in the process she killed your mother and sister, which was so wrong... and now

sharply, something she said making

frowned before her face paled and I knew I was

to brush it off. My eyes

you just say about the

ship because she smelt an Alpha male on board.” She whispered, her eyes

There. 

She said it. 

came for me. If I hadn’t been there, they wouldn‘t

it was my fucking

said, gripping my wrist and pulling my hand away

it didn‘t work on me, I was an

at my hand, staring at my

behind it all, with enough fucking bad luck that I

Everyone. 

Thalia... Yileyna... Even the Beta couple who

I turned to look at her, doing my best to contain

away from me.” I warned her quietly as I stood up, downing the last drops

Theon, there‘s so much more going than you think, and I need you

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