1. 19. Turmoiled Thoughts 

THEON 

Yilevna‘s mother was the one who killed mine... The conflict I felt inside of me had shaken me to my core. 

paced around my cabin; it had been an hour since we had found her, but I had been unable to stay in her presence, my head was about to burst. 

I looked around the room, it was too fucking small, the sway of the ship was making me sick and it almost felt like I couldn‘t fucking breathe. 

What do I do? 

What the fuck do I do? 

I stared at the ceiling, that was only a few inches above my head, 

It was too fucking claustrophobic in here. 

I threaded my hands together, placing them behind my head as I took deep breaths. 

I had killed Hana and William De‘Lacor, something I regretted every single fucking day... 

I know, I fucking know I no longer can take away her birth mother from her, I know what I fucking need to do... 

But everything I had worked my entire fucking life for was unravelling. First from the image of reality that Dad had portrayed, one that was beginning to hold a lot of questions and holes to the revenge I craved... I had spent the last decade waiting for the day I’d see that monster and kill her... 

She had been before me, but Yileyna had protected her and I had hesitated… 

My chest was burning up from the wounds, I needed to change my bandages before anyone saw them but I just... I couldn‘t fucking focus... 

I exhaled sharply, pulling my shirt off and unwrapping the bandages that were a disgusting mess, making my wounds itch. 

I looked down, seeing the injuries were looking as bad as they did days ago. I dropped down to the ground by the door, staring at the wall across from me as the ship swayed. 

What do I do? 

I felt fucking lost, every fucking thing I had worked my life for was... gone. 

I closed my eyes, squeezing my head, rocking slightly as I took deep breaths. 

When everything you have worked your entire fucking life for is just... gone, what do you do? 1 

A knock on the door made my head snap up, but I didn‘t move. I didn‘t want to see anyone. Not when I felt like I was going to fucking spiral. 

Another knock followed but I didn‘t reply until I heard the footsteps retreating. I stood up grabbed the bloody bandages, along with my dirty shirt, and walked to the bathroom, ready to wash off. 

Night had fallen, and I had gone out briefly to tell Flynn we were to head to Eastcourt, buti nad avoided Yileyna. I just needed to make sure Thea was ok, from there I would see what I can find out, and then head to Hunter‘s pack. 

I needed fucking answers, or I was going to lose my fucking mind. 

Yileyna... I needed to find out what she planned to do... but as relieved as I was that she was alive and near, no matter how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and never fucking let go, I couldn‘t. 

The rejection was still painful in my mind... everything that had happened... it all was fucking too much… and on top of that her Siren mother.... her identity... Fuck, why couldn‘t it be anyone else but her? 

My mind was still reeling. 

I dropped onto the bed, shirtless, the stinging had eased a little, but the wounds were still fucking hurting. Sleep didn‘t come and I sat up, maybe I‘d pop down to the hold and get some ale or wine..

I stood up, picking up a shirt and pulled it on, before leaving my room. Her scent lingered in the halls and I frowned, what was she doing out here

She had changed slightly, looking even more beautiful, although I have no fucking idea how that was possible... Yileyna... I was unable to get how fucking appealing she looked out of my mind... 

The urge to strip her naked and admire her was a temptation that would never be a reality. 

siren form, she had looked different than others. Her tail was far more extravagant, with her scales hanging low on

she

lock on the door to the

Yileyna and I had been down here, after I had that nightmare. I opened a crate and took out a bottle of wine. It would do nothing

and dropped to the floor, resting my head against the hard wall

get any easier?

for the

to a point where I no longer knew

hard, even harder when there was no

out to be a lie… I will fucking lose

and I opened my eyes as her familiar scent invaded my nose. A scent that I fucking

did she

clad in just an oversized shirt. She paused at the bottom of the steps and looked towards me. Her aura radiated off her and it was far more powerful than what it was when she had

edge, a little more dangerous and a little more exotic. I wondered how it would sound if she was

the distraction right

she came over and sat down next to me, stretching out her

her flawless thighs, taking

began softly.

talk about it, but

carry on if she so

your mother and sister... I‘m sorry... and I‘m not trying to justify her actions, but it‘s because of the king...

looking at her sharply. Her cheekbones were more prominent, and she looked a little older, as if she had shed the last remnants of the girl she once used to

do you mean tried to kill her?” I asked for the sake of entertaining

other than her

took a deep shaky breath and began telling me the version that Andres

few minutes later we sat in silence as I pondered over

who had obviously been his fated mate considering they made the Heart of Kaeladia, and then when he was done, he tried to kill her..? Her anger was justified… wasn‘t it what

She said

murmured quietly, looking at her. Her iridescent eyes seemed

 

on her face and her rejection came back to mind... She was

her gaze flickering to

I didn‘t miss the look in her eyes.

vicious cycle. The King apparently betrayed your father, I‘m saying apparently because he too seems like a monster, whether you agree or not. The king also betrayed Deliana, forcing her to want vengeance on

she said making my heart thud.

paled and I

it off. My

about the siren?” I whispered

smelt an Alpha male

There. 

She said it. 

I hadn’t been there, they

my fucking fault.

it.” She said, gripping my wrist and pulling my hand away from her throat. “Theon,

alpha aura unknowingly rolled into her command, but it didn‘t

hand, staring at

fucking bad

Everyone. 

Even the Beta couple who had done

hand on my shoulder, and I turned to look

away from me.” I warned her quietly as I stood up, downing the last drops in the bottle.

this isn‘t about me and you. Theon, there‘s so much more going than you think, and I need you by my side, the side of truth

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