1. 19. Turmoiled Thoughts 

THEON 

Yilevna‘s mother was the one who killed mine... The conflict I felt inside of me had shaken me to my core. 

paced around my cabin; it had been an hour since we had found her, but I had been unable to stay in her presence, my head was about to burst. 

I looked around the room, it was too fucking small, the sway of the ship was making me sick and it almost felt like I couldn‘t fucking breathe. 

What do I do? 

What the fuck do I do? 

I stared at the ceiling, that was only a few inches above my head, 

It was too fucking claustrophobic in here. 

I threaded my hands together, placing them behind my head as I took deep breaths. 

I had killed Hana and William De‘Lacor, something I regretted every single fucking day... 

I know, I fucking know I no longer can take away her birth mother from her, I know what I fucking need to do... 

But everything I had worked my entire fucking life for was unravelling. First from the image of reality that Dad had portrayed, one that was beginning to hold a lot of questions and holes to the revenge I craved... I had spent the last decade waiting for the day I’d see that monster and kill her... 

She had been before me, but Yileyna had protected her and I had hesitated… 

My chest was burning up from the wounds, I needed to change my bandages before anyone saw them but I just... I couldn‘t fucking focus... 

I exhaled sharply, pulling my shirt off and unwrapping the bandages that were a disgusting mess, making my wounds itch. 

I looked down, seeing the injuries were looking as bad as they did days ago. I dropped down to the ground by the door, staring at the wall across from me as the ship swayed. 

What do I do? 

I felt fucking lost, every fucking thing I had worked my life for was... gone. 

I closed my eyes, squeezing my head, rocking slightly as I took deep breaths. 

When everything you have worked your entire fucking life for is just... gone, what do you do? 1 

A knock on the door made my head snap up, but I didn‘t move. I didn‘t want to see anyone. Not when I felt like I was going to fucking spiral. 

Another knock followed but I didn‘t reply until I heard the footsteps retreating. I stood up grabbed the bloody bandages, along with my dirty shirt, and walked to the bathroom, ready to wash off. 

Night had fallen, and I had gone out briefly to tell Flynn we were to head to Eastcourt, buti nad avoided Yileyna. I just needed to make sure Thea was ok, from there I would see what I can find out, and then head to Hunter‘s pack. 

I needed fucking answers, or I was going to lose my fucking mind. 

Yileyna... I needed to find out what she planned to do... but as relieved as I was that she was alive and near, no matter how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and never fucking let go, I couldn‘t. 

The rejection was still painful in my mind... everything that had happened... it all was fucking too much… and on top of that her Siren mother.... her identity... Fuck, why couldn‘t it be anyone else but her? 

My mind was still reeling. 

I dropped onto the bed, shirtless, the stinging had eased a little, but the wounds were still fucking hurting. Sleep didn‘t come and I sat up, maybe I‘d pop down to the hold and get some ale or wine..

I stood up, picking up a shirt and pulled it on, before leaving my room. Her scent lingered in the halls and I frowned, what was she doing out here

She had changed slightly, looking even more beautiful, although I have no fucking idea how that was possible... Yileyna... I was unable to get how fucking appealing she looked out of my mind... 

The urge to strip her naked and admire her was a temptation that would never be a reality. 

was something different about her siren form, she had looked different than others. Her tail was far more extravagant, with her scales hanging low on her

no matter how fucking good she looked, I couldn‘t face her...

the lock on the door to the Hold,

had that nightmare. I opened a crate and took out a bottle of wine. It would

cork off and dropped to the floor, resting my head against the hard wall of

get

for the

a point where I no

when there was no reprieve from anything.

has told me turns out to be a lie… I will fucking

eyes as her familiar scent invaded my nose. A scent

she want?

her creamy legs came into view, clad in just an oversized shirt. She paused at the bottom of the steps and looked towards me. Her aura radiated off her and it was far more

if I join, I need to talk to you.” She spoke, her voice held a sexier edge, a little more dangerous and a little more

use the distraction right

want?” I asked as she came over and sat down next to

look at her flawless thighs, taking

began

wanted to talk about it,

remained silent, letting her carry

justify her actions, but it‘s because of the king... He tried to kill her in her

looking at her sharply. Her cheekbones were more prominent, and she looked a little older, as if she had shed the last remnants

for the sake of entertaining her,

than her being

took a deep shaky breath and began telling me the version that

sat in silence as I pondered over everything.

his fated mate considering they made the Heart of Kaeladia, and then when he

something, please.” She said

no different than me, Dad... or Andres. We are all hurting so many others in the name of revenge, to justify our own fucking actions.” I murmured quietly, looking at her. Her iridescent eyes seemed to be fixed and they drew my attention; purple, pink, blue

 

came back to mind... She was made

lips, her gaze flickering to mine before she looked

didn‘t miss the look

can‘t keep going on like this Theon... it‘s a vicious cycle. The King apparently betrayed your father, I‘m saying apparently because he too seems like a monster, whether you agree or not. The king also betrayed Deliana, forcing her to want vengeance on all Alpha males, and in the process she

something she said making

frowned before her face paled and I knew I

is it?” She asked, trying to brush it off. My eyes flashed as I grabbed her

just say about the siren?” I

ship because she smelt an Alpha male on

There. 

She said it. 

for me. If I hadn’t been there,

was my fucking fault.

my wrist and pulling my hand away

her command, but it didn‘t work on

hand, staring at my

was the one behind it all, with enough fucking bad luck that I constantly hurt those around me…

Everyone. 

couple who had done no fucking

my shoulder, and I turned to look at her,

as I stood up,

much more going than you think, and I need you by my side, the side of

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