Chapter 64 Concealing Heartbreak

Evelyn

"Are you sure you're okay?" Clara asked, lifting a sandwich to my lips. "You seem different."

"Why?" I asked, my brow furrowing as I took a bite, "Did you spend a year moping around after your first heartbreak, crying for someone who clearly didn't care about you, or did you turn into a depressed woman starved for love?"

I could sense her surprise at my response. I couldn't blame her; my friends were all reacting the same way. They expected me to act like a heartbroken woman, crying and drowning in grief. Perhaps I should have, but for some reason, I couldn't. I didn't know why but I also didn't try to figure out any of it.

I felt strangely numb. Everything seemed oddly normal because I had, to some extent, shut down my emotions, shutting out everything that hurt.

"Well, not really, but you were acting completely different last night," she said, wiping the corner of my mouth with a handkerchief. "Are you sure you're okay, Evelyn? You don't have to pretend. I'm here for you."

Was I pretending?

No, absolutely not. As long as I could keep him and those painful memories buried in the darkest corners of my mind, I'd be fine. And I had every intention of keeping them buried for a really long time. "I'm just trying to keep myself busy, Clara," I sighed, "I don't want to waste any more thoughts on that cold-hearted bastard and I am done wasting my tears too. He's out there fucking his ex, so at the very least, I need to go back to living a somewhat normal life like I used to before him."

"So, you're avoiding the pain instead of confronting it," she said, her eyes softening. "Evelyn, I'm telling you, it's not a good idea. When it finally hits you, it will hurt more than you can imagine."

"I think it hit me the hardest when I saw him with that bitch today," I chuckled softly. "And since he's moved on so quickly, I should too."

Yes, I could manage to keep him out of my mind for good. It wasn't a big deal. I had been fine before him, and I would be fine after him.

it. Your dad and I have been in your shoes

not let

won't allow him nor his

escaped my mouth as I took another bite of the sandwich. "I'll be fine,

"Evie..."

wedding is over," I interrupted, planting a kiss on her

even though both of us knew that it might not last long, she

sign up to babysit a five-year-old when I decided to marry Samuel,"

stuck with

***

awash with emotions and yet utterly numb at the same time. A strange hollowness resided within me, and I

could still feel it- the pain trying to crawl up those walls I

I was

delved into my emotions, I unearthed things I'd rather not see, feelings I wished to destroy, and above

delicate balance was all I had to hold

on my favourite perfume, its scent a blend of roses and

you-?" she began but stopped short, clearly

but innocent- I couldn't really

"To fuck?"

course, what else for?" I rolled my

bitch," Jennie laughed. "You're going to have plenty of them chasing after you. So, get ready

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