Chapter 164 This Means Nothing

Evelyn

After that mind-blowing orgasm and Jacob's final touch, another night was slipping by in terrifying silence. I tossed and turned in bed, restless, unable to get a wink of sleep. My mind raced with thoughts, loud and unkind, questioning my dignity and the self-preservation I had until I let Jacob finger-fuck and lick me to a shattering climax that I could still feel between my thighs. The sensitivity was still lingering there. I was so fucking stupid to allow him to do that because now, I stimply couldn't get him out of my head.

If there was anything I should have felt for him, it should have been hatred. But no, I felt everything else the fire, the warmth, the urge, the craving, the hunger-every fucking thing except the one emotion I believed I should have felt for him: hatred.

God, Maybe, I could never ever hate him and this realization was sickening.

I emitted a soft groan, trying to banish his image from my mind. He had looked so incredibly hot with my essence on his lips, hovering over me, his face so tantalizingly close to mine. He looked breathtaking.

I still loved him...

Why the fuck did I still love him?!!!

"God, Evelyn! Get him out of your head," I muttered, sitting up and finally getting out of bed. I knew sleep was nowhere near me, so a stroll in the garden it was. Wine? I doubted there was any left. I had seen Clara and Dad take nearly three bottles up to their room. One would have done the job, but they didn't want me anywhere near any kind of drink-sly hedgehogs that they were!

I wrapped the shrug around my body, bracing for the possibility of a chilly night. You can never trust the weather.

Slowly, I walked downstairs, opened the glass door, and stepped into the garden. But then....My body froze the moment my bare feet touched the grass.

There stood Jacob Adriano, his bare, strong back facing me, hands tucked into his trouser pockets as he gazed at the sky, at the moon. A sight I could only describe as ethereal.

Unconsciously, I took a few steps forward, bringing his side profile into view. It didn't take me a second to realize he was deep in thought, distant. It was uncharacteristic of him to look so far away, deep in thoughts as if buried in some secluded corner of his mind that he wouldn't let anyone discover. He'd always been composed, calm, and controlled.

Before I knew it, I found myself asking, "What are you doing here?"

His eyes shifted to me slowly, unsurprised. "I couldn't sleep." His answer was as simple as his gaze. As much as I knew him, I could tell he was trying not to plan anything, unlike other times-there was nothing going on in his mind. But he looked....sad.

was going on between us, whether a fight, a war, or a growing distance that might never be bridged again. When he was at his low, I

eyes. My hands fought a battle, longing to cup his face and kiss him gently, again and again, until all the pain

forcing my eyes to show only curiosity when all they held

trying to mask his vulnerability with a facade of indifference. He turned

insisted.

seconds, glancing from my hand on his wrist to my face. A soft, melancholic smile curled his lips.

bit curious," I stammered. "I'd even ask my enemy why he

but it lacked its usual playfulness, sounding weighed down by an untangled knot in his chest. Perhaps he couldn't untangle it, or needed someone to help and I already wanted to be the one to help, fuck, I

what am I? Your

than that," I shrugged, tucking my hair behind my ear as the wind whipped around us. The weather was beautiful tonight-a sky full of stars, the moon shining brightly-yet it all felt dull because of the lack of shine in the eyes

as lifeless. "I see," he whispered, looking at me with a melancholic smile. Our eyes locked, and we looked at each other in the wind that brushed our skin softly, yet felt as sharp as knives. His smile slowly faded, and then he uttered, "It's... it's my

his words, my eyes widening slightly in realization. Jacob

well. I knew about his childhood, the pain he endured, the things he and Bianca tolerated, and how it

it, I was

the gap between us, reducing it to mere inches. I reached out and caressed his face. All my e thoughts vanished; I was still mad at him, of course, but at this moment, nothing mattered more than to wipe away that expression from his face. I wanted to

memories?" I asked softly, unable to tear my gaze away from him, my thumb softly brushing

moved to

as if my touch soothed him. His intense gaze fixated on me. "The regrets.." he whispered, answering my question. "Regret that if only I had been brave enough then, I could have perhaps saved my mother from that fate. Bianca from those scars that still

sorry for his death, Evelyn-I just wish he had died sooner. That we all had a

Somewhere safe.

been so consumed

bothering to change."

God...

him whole. But some wounds ran too deep, and no matter how deep I dived, I could never

my other hand to cup his face. Pressing my forehead against his, I felt his free hand settle at the small of my back, pulling me

things are beyond

control-sometimes it's fate that

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