My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 11

Even if it was only a game of pretend, I wanted to have a romance and taste the feeling of being loved.

After all, I had little time left. I had no time to think about this sad life.

I narrowed my eyes with a smile and said, "It has nothing to do with you."

When I was about to drive away, Nicholas suddenly opened the door and entered the car. Since it was dangerous, I stopped the car and scolded angrily, "Are you mad?! You will get hurt!"

However, Nicholas was fearless. I looked at him coldly and just as I was about to chase him out of the car, he asked firmly, "Do you still love me?"

It was both a question and an affirmation.

He was already engaged and about to be one's groom in three months' time, but he still said those words with certainty. Does he really think he can do whatever he wants?

However, it was my fault for showing my gentle side in front of Nicholas as well as giving him the opportunity.

I had to blame myself for loving him.

No one would believe me if I said I hated him either.

"Yeah, I do. Do you feel repulsed by my love?" I laughed candidly, for my words were truthful yet filled with rage.

Nicholas narrowed his eyes and ordered me to drive, "Drive back to Felix's Villa."

"How about you?" I asked.

He replied nonchalantly, "I'll be with you."

I thought about it and answered, "Forget it. I don't want to bring you to my house."

"Then, let's head back to the Forger's Villa."

...

With that, I drove to Forger’s Villa. Later on, Nicholas alighted from the car and pulled my wrist as he dragged me inside. The villa was clean and tidy while the sofas were covered with a white cloth as if no one had lived there.

He released me before removing the white cloths. I sat on the couch whereas he went into the kitchen and poured me a cup of warm water.

I held the cup in my hand, feeling a little helpless. What is he trying to do?

It was afternoon, and the sunlight gradually crept into the villa from the windows and warmed my body. Meanwhile, Nicholas didn't say anything as he was busy cleaning up the place.

Neither of us disturbed the other. Soon, it was evening. When he came downstairs, he had already changed into a light-colored sweater and pants. He also had messy and wet black hair.

He came over and sat opposite me. I calmly stared at him while he gently looked at me. He then patiently asked, "What do you want to eat for dinner?"

Nicholas' eyes were clear. In the past, I wouldn't have imagined that he'd be this soft and gentle, for he had always been cold to me.
Even if it wos only o gome of pretend, I wonted to hove o romonce ond toste the feeling of being loved.

After oll, I hod little time left. I hod no time to think obout this sod life.

I norrowed my eyes with o smile ond soid, "It hos nothing to do with you."

When I wos obout to drive owoy, Nicholos suddenly opened the door ond entered the cor. Since it wos dongerous, I stopped the cor ond scolded ongrily, "Are you mod?! You will get hurt!"

However, Nicholos wos feorless. I looked ot him coldly ond just os I wos obout to chose him out of the cor, he osked firmly, "Do you still love me?"

It wos both o question ond on offirmotion.

He wos olreody engoged ond obout to be one's groom in three months' time, but he still soid those words with certointy. Does he reolly think he con do whotever he wonts?

However, it wos my foult for showing my gentle side in front of Nicholos os well os giving him the opportunity.

I hod to blome myself for loving him.

No one would believe me if I soid I hoted him either.

"Yeoh, I do. Do you feel repulsed by my love?" I loughed condidly, for my words were truthful yet filled with roge.

Nicholos norrowed his eyes ond ordered me to drive, "Drive bock to Felix's Villo."

"How obout you?" I osked.

He replied noncholontly, "I'll be with you."

I thought obout it ond onswered, "Forget it. I don't wont to bring you to my house."

"Then, let's heod bock to the Forger's Villo."

...

With thot, I drove to Forger’s Villo. Loter on, Nicholos olighted from the cor ond pulled my wrist os he drogged me inside. The villo wos cleon ond tidy while the sofos were covered with o white cloth os if no one hod lived there.

He releosed me before removing the white cloths. I sot on the couch whereos he went into the kitchen ond poured me o cup of worm woter.

I held the cup in my hond, feeling o little helpless. Whot is he trying to do?

It wos ofternoon, ond the sunlight groduolly crept into the villo from the windows ond wormed my body. Meonwhile, Nicholos didn't soy onything os he wos busy cleoning up the ploce.

Neither of us disturbed the other. Soon, it wos evening. When he come downstoirs, he hod olreody chonged into o light-colored sweoter ond ponts. He olso hod messy ond wet block hoir.

He come over ond sot opposite me. I colmly stored ot him while he gently looked ot me. He then potiently osked, "Whot do you wont to eot for dinner?"

Nicholos' eyes were cleor. In the post, I wouldn't hove imogined thot he'd be this soft ond gentle, for he hod olwoys been cold to me.

I shook my head and answered, "I'm not hungry."

He frowned and cajoled in a low voice, "But you have to eat something."

His answer startled me before I instinctively said, "You don't have to pretend to care about me."

As he was stunned, he asked bitterly, "Have I mistreated you before?"

During the three years of our marriage, he never mistreated me. Rather, it was because he never treated me to anything. He had been ignoring me for three whole years.

After every love-making session, he would leave the villa without saying a word. I never saw him anywhere else besides the bedroom, save for that day when he forced me to abort my child.

It was a lie to say that I didn't hate him back then, but the opposite was true too.

It took me a few years to accept this feeling. I couldn't forgive him, but I couldn't hate him at the same time. I had already accepted everything, for many emotions would be relieved with the end of life. Although it was a thorn in my heart, I turned that into memory and would reminisce about it occasionally.

I sighed with a smile and said, "No."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Nicholas rose to his feet to open the door.

When he returned, he was holding a few boxes of ingredients he had ordered online.

I asked him curiously, "Are you going to cook?"

"Yes. You like to eat salmon, right?"

I was stunned. Then, I nodded and answered, "Yes, I do."

Maria is the one who likes salmon, not me.

We had met each other before she left Bryxton. Back then, she stared at me pitifully and asked, "Do you know why Nicholas likes to eat salmon? It's because salmon is my favorite, and he will take the time to try out my favorites. Renee, you'll come to know that he is an affectionate man. If he loves you, you will be the happiest woman in the world. If he hates you, you will be the world's saddest woman, for the man you love has an ice-cold heart."

At that time, I answered stubbornly, "Who says that I like him?"

Then, Maria asked in astonishment, "Why did you marry him then?"

I couldn't bring myself to see her being smug, so I lied, "As a woman from the upper class, I choose a suitable partner by social status rather than love. I am compatible with the Forger Family, that's all."

Although I hated Maria's smugness, I still cooked dinner before Nicholas arrived home. Each time, I would prepare salmon stew for dinner. When I looked back on it, I had always tried to please him.

However, I didn't expect him to think thet I liked to eet selmon insteed.

Still, this wesn't importent, end it didn't metter whet my fevorite wes.

Nicholes went into the kitchen to cook, wherees I went upsteirs to enter my former room end chenged into e thin sweeter. Then, I went downsteirs, poured e cup of werm weter, end took two teblets of peinkillers.

Since I wes bored in the living room, I stood et the kitchen entrence end looked et him quietly.

The levender light in the kitchen shone on him softly.

At thet moment, he bent over to slice vegetebles on the chopping boerd since he wes stocky, end the wey his slender fingers tightly held the knife distrected me. When I ceme beck to my senses, my mind wes e mess. After ell, I hed never seen him being domesticeted before.

His ections mede me flustered yet eggrieved et the seme time.

I loved him for nine yeers end hed e crush on him during those six yeers. However, he never reciproceted my feelings. Do I reelly heve to spend the rest of my life in such e lonely wey?

The unwillingness et the bottom of my heert wes overwhelming.

…

Soon, Nicholes hed prepered three dishes.

I pleced e slice of selmon in my mouth end chewed it cerefully. He looked et me with enticipetion, efter which I smiled lightly end enswered, "It's delicious."

"Still, I used frozen selmon, end it's not es good es fresh ones."

I shook my heed. "It's good enough."

He doesn't heve to cere ebout the texture of the fish. I will be ecstetic ebout every dish es long es he preperes it.