My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 204

I did not succeed in taking him, for I collapsed in his embrace while wrapping my arms around his waist. However, he did not push me away and let me be instead. Displaying an astonishing level of self-control, he drove us back to the apartment eventually.

The flashbacks from last night embarrassed me greatly and my cheeks were burning as I struggled to face the truth. No, things have gone the wrong way! We should not have ended up in this way. Drinking does lead to mistakes…

Moreover, I had never taken the initiative with Shawn, even though we were fully dressed last night. We rarely made love to each other, and the few times we did, he never tried any outrageous positions. But now…

I had tried to hold myself together, but I fell apart after learning about the happenings from last night. With much sadness, I wandered out of the room like a ghost.

Meanwhile, he stood in front of the French windows and was currently on a call. Since his back was turned on me, I decided to sneak out of the apartment.

Catching the sounds of my movements, he turned around and frowned in frustration. He asked dully, "Where are you going?" His unfriendly look unlocked the fear in me. It felt like going back to the beginning of our relationship.

I mumbled, "I'm meeting Emma."

"She went to Bryxton last night."

"Oh. I'll visit her in Bryxton, then."

He put his phone away and walked toward me, sighing. "Until when do you plan to hide from me?"

I looked at the floor in silence.

Eventually, he gave in and ordered me, "It's raining in Bryxton. You should change before you go."

I was still dressed in the black camisole from yesterday. It suddenly occurred to me that the conservative Shawn could not tolerate seeing me in such an outfit.

The more he ordered me to change, the more I refused to.

Ignoring him, I attempted to leave without changing at all. Suddenly, he held my wrist and dragged me into his arms. After staring at me with his deep eyes for a while, he touched my flat belly with his cold palm.

I fought to resist his flirting as I looked at him in a daze. Subsequently, his smoky voice rang in my ears. "Since when have you become a bad girl? Hmm, Ray?"

His tone went up slightly at my name, which was too much for my heart. Blushing deeply, I replied, "Let me go now!"

Of course, he did not as he held me up in his arms instead. With my legs dangling, I reflexively wrapped them around his waist while holding onto his neck. Then, he looked up at me with a pair of clear eyes.

I could not help but stare down at this handsome man. His features were well-defined, like a deity who visited earth. That was my impression of him—out of this world. He seemed to be standing from a higher point, dispassionately surveying the life on earth as if nothing would pique his interest.

Even when I had ruined matters and lied to him, he never once grumbled about it.

Feeling guilty about the incident from eight months ago, I hugged him tight and articulated, "I'm sorry."

He raised a brow in confusion. "Huh?"

"Kevin was right. I ruined you."

He clapped back. "I thought you did not know me at all."

I had no words.

In the past, he would never expose me. Instead, he would let me put on my act as he observed. Is he angry at me because I said I didn't know him?

I looked at the floor and bit my lips to stop my tears from streaming. After I composed myself, I apologized, "Sunny, I am sorry. It's not that I didn't want to approach you—I was scared. Everything I've done is a failure, including your children that I miscarried. I'm fearful of meeting you again. When I went to search for you in Finland, you shunned me a few times. I thought you didn't want to see me ever again. That was sad and depressing!"

He did not blame me at all. Sitting on the couch, he gently rubbed my cheek with a hand, comforting me in a low voice. "Let's not debate the rights and wrongs of the past. The kids… We're not destined to be their parents, but you're still young! With our advanced technology, you could go for an IVF if you want a kid! If you don't, we don't have to try."

Just when I had held back my tears, his touching words set me off again. I buried my head and cried my heart out in his arms. The pain, melancholy, and frustration I had experienced lately were gone in a second.

I thanked him from deep down in my heart for not blaming me, and I felt grateful that he was willing to approach me.

"Ray, you are the most important thing to me. Anything else does not matter. I won't blame you for anything in our past nor debate over rights and wrongs. Have you forgotten my words?"

He once said that any misunderstanding was not a good reason to leave. I held his words close to heart, but I also recalled the three times I did not get to see him in Finland, which was a huge blow. Sobbing, I asked, "Why did you refuse to see me?"

I was fragile in front of him, and I was willing to shed my armor and rely on him. This felt different from my relationship with Nick. With this man before me, I could entrust my whole life to him.

He did not give me an explanation as it was typical of him to be taciturn. After saying all he had wanted to say, he went back to his old self.

Fuming, I called him, "Shawn Xenos."

He smiled. "That was rude."