My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 232

Crying? I thought as I wiped the corner of my eyes and felt wetness against my fingertips. Then, I gave him a bright smile as I tried to gloss things over by saying, "I don't know why I'm crying either. Maybe it's because many depressing things have been happening recently."
Crying? I thought as I wiped the corner of my eyes and felt wetness against my fingertips. Then, I gave him a bright smile as I tried to gloss things over by saying, "I don't know why I'm crying either. Maybe it's because many depressing things have been happening recently."

Since Shawn could easily tell whether I was lying, I suppressed my nervousness and sighed as I spoke, "All I want is your love, but it's hard to get it. Even your mother…"

Shawn was wearing a white sweater, and his fringe was slightly messy. As he looked at me, his darkened gaze kept scrutinizing me. My heart rate increased as I feared he would call me out on my lie.

It seemed that I got away with it as he became silent for a moment before saying, "She adopted me when I was an infant and gave me a chance to survive, so I respect her for that. However, respect goes both ways. I gave her a second chance, and if she still insists on going down this path, I will not stop her."

"Can you bear to watch her kill herself?" I asked him sharply.

He pursed his lips and didn't reply.

"She is your mother, and she threatened you with her life. You… Shawn, I know that deep down, this has hurt you."

He already had to go through the agony of losing a mother that cared. If he were to lose another… Although love indeed plays a vital role in life, a family has always been complicated, and sometimes we don't get to control or logic ourselves from our feelings. Moreover, marriage is always about tying two families together. If one party were to stop us from getting married, how can we, the younger generation, go against our elders without being shackled by moral obligations? This is especially so when Shawn's remaining mother would do anything to see me suffer.

My words might have struck a nerve in him as his voice turned cold as he retorted, "You don't have to worry about this. I will deal with this matter."

"To be honest, I think our relationship is fine as it is now, Shawn. I'm not in a rush to get married, and your mother… Maybe she'll finally see sense a few years down the road. When that time comes, maybe she will accept me and not force you…" As I spoke, I wondered if I would still be alive by then.

"Are you backing out?" His gaze turned cold as he stared at me.

"I'm just trying to be considerate," I shook my head and replied.

I don't care about your mother's opinion. I genuinely don't give a hoot if she lives or dies. I'm just worried about you, Shawn. I don't want you to carry such a heavy burden just to be with me.

"If that's the case, leave this matter to me," he intoned confidently, as though success was a foregone conclusion.

When I listened to his vow, I didn't ask how he would deal with it. When he saw that I had gone silent, he turned and left for the bedroom. At that moment, I sensed that he was upset with me.

Did I say anything to provoke him just now? I didn't say anything out of line, though. Maybe he thinks I'm backing out because we're facing a rough patch? I can't lie to myself and say I'm not doing such a thing. After all, my current health is going to be a burden. I wouldn't even know when I would collapse. What should I do then? Was it too much to hope for a healthy body?

As those thoughts raced through my mind, I closed my eyes shut and lay on the sofa. After a while, Shawn came out of the bedroom and stood by my side. When I opened my eyes, I saw him crouching beside me, and I took the initiative to butter him up. "Are you hungry?" I asked.

Alas, he shook his head and answered, "I'm going to leave Bryxton in a while."

"Where are you going?" I smiled, although I could feel how stiff and fake it was on my face.

"I did say that I'm returning to Finland."

He uses the word "returning" when he talks about Finland. It is like deep down inside, Finland is his true home.

"I see," I replied weakly.

As my breath weakened, Shawn gently caressed my cheek with his fingers and asked in concern, "Are you feeling alright?"

I raised my hand and held his palm as I said softly, "I'm just tired. It's probably because I haven't been resting well."

Although the doctor said my cancer had signs of recurrence, it hadn't happened yet. Thus, I didn't want to wallow in pessimistic thoughts, at least not now.

"Be good, okay? I'll be back in Bryxton as soon as I can. If you feel bored, you can find me whenever you want. I'll ask Kevin to escort you to Finland."

"Okay. How long will you be staying there?"

"Maybe a month or two. I'm not sure," he replied.

"I'll find you after attending Olivia's wedding."

"Okay. Get some rest," he urged gently.

So, I propped myself up and kissed him on the cheek. Shawn rewarded me with a happy smile and pulled me into his embrace, saying, "I love you, Renee."

This was the first time he had ever said he loved me in such a sincere way. I wondered whether he was trying to soothe my nerves due to Eliza's threat.

"Me too, Shawn," I replied earnestly.

Shawn loves me, and it's not because he wants a family, as Eliza had said. On the contrary, this man in front of me treats me like a treasure. We have each other's backs. No one can drive a wedge between us, not even Eliza herself!

…

When he departed for Finland, I decided to take a nap on the sofa. A while later, I woke up feeling refreshed, and my body was working just fine. Hence, I happily made myself a semi-celebratory meal and went to the Xenos' Residence to deal with some affairs. Nevertheless, when I returned home, it was already late at night. After a refreshing bath, I had just stepped out of the washroom only to hear my phone ring. I hastily swiped the screen to accept the call when I saw it was my mother, fearing it was an emergency. Yet, to my surprise, she only called to ask when I would be getting married.

"We just got engaged," I teased her.

"I was just asking."

"Don't worry. I'll let you know once we've decided on a date."

When my mother heard my reassurances, she was relieved and said, "I can finally be at ease now that you actually have a plan. About Leon… Why didn't you say anything about that woman's background?"

When I heard her question, I quickly realized they had probably met Francesca. Hence, I asked worriedly, "How did it go?"

"Your father visited her in Sundew in the morning. She is a gorgeous woman, but she doesn't seem to be willing to get back to Leon."

"What do you mean by that?" I pressed her for answers.

"She said she would think about it for the child's sake, but she also said that there were things she wasn't ready to face. So, she told us to give her at least a year or two to think it over."

I readily took Francesca's side and replied, "That's good. Leon needs some time to grow anyway. It's just the child… Tamara will not have a close bond with him."

Tamara, who was one and a half years old, was still unfamiliar with the term 'Daddy'.

"I'll discuss this with Leon when I have the time."

"Okay. I'm going to get some rest," I said as I held back a yawn.

"Remember to eat your dinner." She reminded me.

"I know. I'll watch out for my health." After I hung up the phone, I ate my medicine and went straight to bed.

For the next two weeks, I tried to focus on caring for my health. Most of the time, I was dealing with affairs at the Xenos' Residence, and sometimes I would go to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor told me that I was fine, but he also warned me that it didn't mean there wasn't any hidden danger. I couldn't help but agree with a weary sigh as I knew full well that my body was far from healthy.