My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 488

Shawn did not respond, so I walked over to sit beside him. I noticed that he had clicked into the application that stored my diary entries, which were kept in a program I'd set up years before but rarely accessed. When I was younger, I used to keep a journal of my thoughts and feelings using that program.

I hadn't used it in years, and the only reason it was still installed was that I reinstalled it out of sheer curiosity. After realizing that the only things recorded were mundane entries, I closed it. However, I did not read many pages when I scrolled through it, whereas Shawn went straight to the last pages.

I read the first entry, 'Today was my first meeting with him. He appeared to have radiated a special sun that had driven away Bryxton's usual chill and dampness. As a result, I was comfortably warm.'

The second entry stated, 'I constantly trailed behind him, hoping he would eventually turn around, and he did so in the end. However, he told me to go home, and I obediently did so, intending to continue following him the next day. His broad shoulders and back gave the impression that they could protect me from anything, and his presence gave me a sense of security.'

In my third entry, I wrote, 'I fell in love with him at first sight. I wished I could pursue him, but I lacked the courage to do so. Moreover, I was such a coward that I followed him because I wanted to tell him how I felt. Nonetheless, I wished he knew how I truly felt about him. We had known each other for about two weeks! Would he deem it to be impolite? However, I'm still a child—'

The fourth entry stated, 'The sun had returned to Bryxton, and it seemed like it was always shining when he was around. Suddenly, he asked me today, "Little girl, why do you follow me wherever I go?" I was shaking with fear as I stammered out, "Because… I love you." I love him with all of my heart. Then, he said, "You're still a child, little girl. You have no concept of what love is." My young mind could not process the rejection at the time, and I even dared to ask him, "Will you wait for me when I grow up?"'

The fifth entry read, 'He was gone. He left without saying anything, giving the impression that he would be back soon. Nonetheless, I couldn't find him anywhere. I was heartbroken as if he had dug up my heart and buried it somewhere else.'

In my sixth entry, I wrote, 'It had been five days since he had left, and I was missing him. He was the only bright star in the night sky for me.'

I wrote these entries in my diary when I first met Christopher. Moreover, many other heartfelt posts were made after that, so I hastily grabbed my laptop. When I saw Shawn looking at me with a stony expression, I explained, "These were written when I was young and naive. So, don't let it get to your head and I will delete them immediately."

Since he had a jealous personality, I assumed he would become envious upon perusing those entries. Surprisingly, he was not, and he calmly held my arm and smiled. "Ray, this is your past. These are the moments of your youth, so it's important to hold on to them and remember them. They should not be deleted because of me. After all, they were the emotions and sentiments you experienced for five years. It's hard to describe the feeling of being completely alone for that long. Don't worry; I won't judge you based on your past."

Despite his propensity for jealousy, his insight at that moment brought tears to my eyes. "Stop treating me so nicely. I know you're upset, but you're not expressing it."

A smile crossed his face, but Shawn said nothing. Afterward, I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. "Back then, I believed my parents had died in a plane crash, which was a complete fabrication. The incident, which occurred when I was fourteen, was the most devastating blow I had ever experienced. Suddenly, my entire world collapsed, and my life became depressing. When I first met Christopher, it wasn't because he was attractive or sweet that I fell for him. I could never get a clear picture of his character or get a sense of the kind of person he was. However, I fell in love with him after hearing him play the song Street Where Wind Resides', which my mother used to play all the time. Moreover, I liked him because he alleviated my pain whenever I missed my parents. He made me—"

I've never been open about my feelings before, but I express my feelings for Christopher to someone instead. People often think they will feel better after venting their concerns to others. However, without a doubt, I have moved past my feelings for Christopher. I want Shawn to know that I have long since let go of this feeling, and he should do the same.

Then, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "Yes, I am grateful for his timely appearance. At least, my wife wasn't lonely back then. Please forgive me for not getting to know you earlier so that I could have looked after you at the time."

My tears streamed down my cheeks upon hearing that. "Sunny, why are you so nice to me?"

Shawn smiled warmly at me and uttered, "It's because you are mine."

Since he considers me his woman, he is considerate of my feelings, willing to forgive me for my mistakes, and will always protect and respect me. This is the highest honor he has bestowed upon me.

Suddenly, I couldn't help but kiss him on the cheek.

Then, he gently caressed my head and inquired, "Is the food ready?"

"How did you know I was cooking?" I gasped in surprise.

Then, I wriggled free of his embrace to stare at him, and he got to his feet. Later, he elaborated, "I overheard you talking about cooking while I was at the stairwell."

It felt like he remembered every word I ever said.

Afterward, I grabbed his hand and led him hurriedly down the flight of stairs. When Emma saw that we were holding hands as we descended, she questioned, "Are you guys showing off?"

"What about it?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She chuckled. "Alright, I'll head home early. You guys are an eyesore."

I rolled my eyes and retorted, "You have a husband of your own."

Emma laughed and said, "Come, let's eat. After the meal, we'll go shopping with May. I want to buy a gaming computer."

"I did not say I'd accompany you," I hurriedly reminded.

Suddenly, her face fell, and she inquired, "Is that how you plan on treating your friend?"