I felt lost again these days. I didn't know what to do and couldn't find my way nor make any plans. My head was all messed up.

After caring for Anne, I went to the study and decided to watch the videos Shirley spoke of.

Four years ago, I was brought away by Irvin. My memories of those days were blurred and confusing.

I knew how well he treated me, but I chose to forget all other details.

I pressed the play button. This took place in Jarold City, the south side of the rural area. Everything looked familiar to me, both the scenery and the people.

After my child was taken away, I didn't want to see it, so I screamed and ran away.

Irvin's care and patience were all recorded in the video.

This was during a period when I often broke down. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night in search of a knife to take my own life. When Irvin tried to stop me, the knife I held accidentally injured him. All these memories were a blur to me, but I knew that there was a scar on Irvin's

stomach.

I never saw any sharp objects afterwards in that villa.

didn't finish watching it. I knew that it would just make me feel even more guilty, so

everything clear?

Grandma often said that only foolish women could spend

to forget and to let go. What they cared about was

received a call from

the line had obviously been crying. She spoke with a pained

mind was

but there was still pain inside of me. It wasn't resentment or anger, it

my child's life. How was I supposed to face

I answered,

my best to control my tone.

other end sighed softly, "If you're unwilling to see me, I will not force you. However, my child, you've got a long road ahead of you. Don't let yourself live in remorse. I don't

I had nothing to say but

didn't see him, his face had become a lot paler. His eyes showed his frailty

he had been kneeling at the Moore villa for an entire night. He got sick eventually and was admitted to the hospital. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ

Then, I placed the phone down. My

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